11 Zviratidzo Iwe Uri Kufambidzana neNarcissist - uye Maitiro Ekubuda

Zvemukati

• 9 yepamutemo maitiro eNPD
  
• 1. Vaifadza AF… pakutanga
• 2. Ivo vanoita nguruve hurukuro, vachitaura nezve kukura kwavo
• 3. Vanopa kufadza kwako
• 4. Havana tsitsi
• 5. Ivo havana chero (kana mazhinji) shamwari dzenguva refu
• Mibvunzo yekuzvibvunza
  
• 6. Vanogara vachikusarudza
• 7. Vanokuisa gasi
• 8. Vanotamba vachitenderera vachitsanangura hukama
• 9. Vanofunga kuti vakarurama pachinhu chose… uye havambokumbira ruregerero
• 10. Ivo vanovhunduka kana iwe ukaedza kusiyana navo
• 11.… uye kana iwe ukavaratidza kuti wapedza chaizvo, vanopenga
• Zvakanaka, saka uri kufambidzana narcissist… zvino chii?
• Maitiro ekugadzirira kurambana neanarcissist
  

Narcissistic hunhu kusagadzikana hakuna kufanana nekuzvivimba kana kuzvibata.

Kana mumwe munhu akatumira imwe yakawandisa maselfie kana anochinjisa mapikicha pane yavo yekufambidzana maficha kana kutaura nezvayo nguva dzose panguva yekutanga zuva, isu tinogona kuvadaidza narcissist.

Asi wechokwadi narcissist mumwe munhu ane narcissistic hunhu kusagadzikana (NPD). Ihwo hutano hwepfungwa hunoratidzwa ne:

• pfungwa yakakwidziridzwa yekukosha
• kudiwa kwakadzika kwekunyanyisa kutarisisa uye kuyemura
• kusava netsitsi kune vamwe
• kazhinji kacho kuve nehukama hwehukama

Chinovira, anodaro murapi ane rezinesi Rebecca Weiler, LMHC, kuzvida (kazhinji kazhinji zvakanyanyisa) kudhura kwevamwe, pamwe nekusakwanisa kufunga manzwiro evamwe zvachose.

NPD, senge hutano hwepfungwa kana hunhu kusagadzikana, haisi nhema uye chena. "Narcissism inowira pamatanho," anotsanangura kudaro Beverly Hills mhuri uye hukama psychotherapist Dr. Fran Walfish, munyori we "The Self-Aware Parent."

Chinyorwa chenguva ichangopfuura cheDiagnostic uye Statistical Manual yeMental Disorders chinonyora zvirevo zvipfumbamwe zveNPD, asi zvinotsanangudza kuti mumwe munhu anongoda kusangana neshanu chete kuti akwanise kuita narcissist.

9 yepamutemo maitiro eNPD

• pfungwa huru yekuzvikoshesa
• kubatikana nefungidziro dzebudiriro isingaperi, simba, kupenya, runako, kana rudo rwakanaka
• kutenda ivo vakakosha uye vakasarudzika uye vanogona kungonzwisiswa ne, kana kufanira kushamwaridzana, nevamwe vakakosha kana vane chinzvimbo chepamusoro vanhu kana masangano
• kudiwa kwekuyemura kwakanyanya
• pfungwa yekodzero
• hunhu hwekudyidzana
• kusava netsitsi
• shanje dzevamwe kana chitendero chekuti vamwe vanovagodora
• kuratidzwa kwekuzvikudza uye kuzvikudza maitiro kana maitiro

Izvo zvakati, kuziva iyo "yepamutemo" maitiro ekuongorora hazviwanzo kuita kuti zvive nyore kuona narcissist, kunyanya kana iwe uchidanana mune imwe. Kazhinji hazviite kuti uone kana mumwe munhu ane NPD pasina kuongororwa kwenyanzvi inokwanisa.

Uyezve, kana mumwe munhu ari kushamisika kana vari kufambidzana narcissist, ivo kazhinji havasi kufunga, "Vane NPD?" Vari kushamisika kana mabatirwo avari kuitwa ane hutano uye akasimba mukufamba kwenguva. Ndapota dzivisa kuongorora mumwe wako mukutaurirana. Asi, verenga kuti uwane imwe nzwisiso nezvehutano hwehukama hwako.

Iwe uri pano nekuti une hanya, uye kunetsekana ikoko kuri kwechokwadi kana hutano hwako huri panjodzi. Kana iwe uchifunga kuti zviratidzo izvi zvinokodzera, tichakupawo matipi ekuti ungatarise sei mamiriro acho ezvinhu.

1. Vaifadza AF… pakutanga

Yakatanga sengano. Pamwe vaikutumira mameseji nguva dzose, kana kukuudza kuti vanokuda mukati memwedzi wekutanga - chimwe chinhu chinotaurwa nenyanzvi se "rudo rwebhomba."

Pamwe vanokuudza kuti wakangwara zvakadii kana kusimbisa kuti munowirirana sei, kunyangwe matotanga kuonana.

"VaNarcissist vanofunga kuti vanokodzera kuva nevamwe vanhu vakakosha, uye kuti vanhu vakasarudzika ndivo chete vanogona kuvakoshesa zvizere," anodaro Nedra Glover Tawwab, LCSW, muvambi weKaleidoscope Counselling muCharlotte, North Carolina.

Asi ukangoita chimwe chinhu chinovaodza moyo, vanogona kukumukira.

Uye kazhinji unenge usina zano reizvo chaizvo zvawakaita, anodaro Tawwab. "Vanokukanganisa vanokubata sei, kana kana vakurwisa, hazvinei newe uye zvese zvine chekuita ne [zvitendero] zvavo."

Zano raWeiler: Kana mumwe munhu akauya akasimba kwazvo pakutanga, chenjera. Chokwadi, isu tese tinoda kunzwa tichichiva. Asi rudo chairwo runofanira kukurudzirwa nekukura.

“Kana iwe uchifunga kuti zvakanyanyisa kuti vanyatsokuda, pamwe ndizvo. Kana kana iwe uchinzwa sekuti havazive zvakakwana nezvako kuti vakude chaiko, vangadaro vasina, ”anodaro Weiler. Vanhu vane NPD vanozoedza kugadzira zvekubatana kwepamberi pakutanga muhukama.

2. Ivo vanoita nguruve hurukuro, vachitaura nezve kukura kwavo

"VaNarcissist vanoda kugara vachitaura nezvavanenge vaita uye kugona kwavo," anodaro chiremba wezvepfungwa Jacklyn Krol, LCSW, weMind Rejuvenation Therapy. "Vanoita izvi nekuti vanonzwa zvirinani uye nehungwaru kupfuura vamwe vese, uyezve nekuti zvinovabatsira kugadzira chimiro chekuzvishingisa."

Clinical psychologist Dr. Angela Grace, PhD, MEd, BFA, BEd, anowedzera kuti vanonyengedza vanowanzowedzeredza zvavakaita uye vanonongedza matarenda avo mune idzi nyaya kuti vawane kukudzwa kubva kune vamwe.

Ivo zvakare vakabatikana kutaura pamusoro pavo pachavo kuti vateerere iwe.Yambiro ndeyezvikamu zviviri pano, anodaro Grace. Kutanga, mumwe wako haamire kutaura nezvazvo, uye chechipiri, mumwe wako haazopindiri munhaurwa pamusoro pako.

Zvibvunze kuti: Chii chinoitika kana iwe ukataura nezvako? Ivo vanobvunza inotevera-mibvunzo uye vanoratidza kufarira kudzidza zvakawanda nezvako? Kana ivo vanozviita pamusoro pavo?

3. Vanopa kufadza kwako

VaNarcissist vanogona zvinoita kunge vanozvivimba zvakanyanya. Asi sekureva kwaTawwab, vanhu vazhinji vane NPD vanoshaya kuzviremekedza.

"Vanoda rumbidzo yakawanda, uye kana usiri kuvapa, vanozoibata hove," anodaro. Ndicho chikonzero nei vari kugara vakatarisa kwauri kuti uvataurire kukura kwavo.

“VaNarcissist vanoshandisa vamwe vanhu - vanhu vanonyanya kunzwira tsitsi - kupa pfungwa yavo yekuzvikoshesa, nekuvaita kuti vanzwe vane simba. Asi nekuda kwekuzvitarisira pasi, kwavo egos kunogona kurerutswa nyore, izvo zvinowedzera kudiwa kwavo kwekurumbidza, "anowedzera Shirin Peykar, LMFT.

Vanhu-kuverenga kuraira: Vaya vanhu vari chaizvo kuzvivimba hakuzongovimba newe chete, kana ani zvake, kuti unzwe kunakirwa nezvavo.

"Musiyano mukuru pakati pevanhu vane chivimbo neavo vane NPD ndewekuti vanonyengedza vanoda vamwe kuti vavasimudzire, uye vanozvisimudza ivo chete nekuisa vamwe pasi. Zvinhu zviviri izvo vanhu vane kuzvivimba kwakakwirira havaite, "Peykar anodaro.

Sekutsanangura kunoita Weiler, "maNarcissist anoranga munhu wese akavapoterera nekuda kwekushaya chivimbo."

4. Havana tsitsi

Kusava netsitsi, kana kugona kunzwa manzwiro anoita mumwe munhu, ndeimwe iyo anoratidzira hunhu hweanarcissist, Walfish anodaro.

"VaNarcissist havana hunyanzvi hwekuita kuti unzwe uchionekwa, uchibvumikisa, unonzwisiswa, kana kugamuchirwa nekuti havanzwisise pfungwa yemanzwiro," anodaro.

Dudziro: Havaiti ita manzwiro evamwe.

Mumwe wako ane hanya kana iwe uine zuva rakashata kubasa, unorwa neshamwari yako yepamwoyo, kana kupopotedzana nevabereki vako? Kana ivo vanofinhwa kana iwe uchitaura izvo zvinhu zvinokuita iwe kupenga uye kusuruvara?

Walfish anoti kusakwanisa kunzwira tsitsi, kana kutonzwira tsitsi, kazhinji ndicho chikonzero nei vazhinji, kana vasiri vese, hukama hweva narcissist huchipedzisira hwave kupunzika, vangave vane rudo kana kwete.

5. Ivo havana chero (kana mazhinji) shamwari dzenguva refu

Vazhinji vanonyengedza havazove neyakareba, shamwari chaidzo. Chera zvakadzama mukubatana kwavo uye iwe unogona kuona kuti ivo vanongova nevanozivanawo zvavo, shamwari dzavanorasa-kutaura, uye nemeses.

Nekuda kweizvozvo, vanogona kupopota kana iwe uchida kutandara neyako. Vangati haupedze nguva yakakwana navo, zvinoita kuti unzwe uine mhosva nekupedza nguva uine shamwari dzako, kana kukutsoropodza nekuda kwemhando dzeshamwari dzauinadzo.

Mibvunzo yekuzvibvunza

• Mumwe wako anobata sei mumwe munhu wavasingade chero chinhu kubva?
• Mumwe wako ane shamwari dzenguva refu here?
• Vane kana kutaura pamusoro kuda nemesis?

6. Vanogara vachikusarudza

Pamwe pakutanga zvakanzwa sekuseka ... asi zvakazove zvine musoro kana kuva zvinogara zvichingoitika.

Pakarepo, zvese zvaunoita, kubva pane zvaunopfeka nekudya kusvika kune waunotandara naye uye nezvaunoona paTV, idambudziko kwavari.

"Vanozokuisa pasi, vanokudana nemazita, vanokurova nema-liners anokuvadza, uye voita majee ayo asiri ekuseka," anodaro Peykar. "Chinangwa chavo kudzikisira kuzviremekedza kwevamwe kuti vagone kuwedzera avo, nekuti zvinoita kuti vanzwe vane simba."

Uyezve, kupindura kune zvavanotaura zvinongosimbisa maitiro avo. "Narcissist anoda kuita," anodaro Peykar. Izvi zvinodaro nekuti zvinovaratidza kuti vane simba rekukanganisa mamiriro emumwe emunhu.

Chiratidzo cheyambiro: Kana vakakuwisira pasi nekutuka kana iwe ukaita chimwe chinhu chakakodzera kupemberera, enda. "Narcissist angati 'Iwe wakakwanisa kuzviita nekuti ini handina kurara zvakanaka' kana chimwe chikonzero chekuita kuti zviite senge une mukana wavakanga vasina," anodaro Tawwab.

Vanoda kuti iwe uzive kuti iwe hausi nani kupfuura ivo. Nekuti, kwavari, hapana munhu akadaro.

7. Vanokuisa gasi

Kuvhenekera gasi inzira yekunyengerera uye kushungurudzwa kwepfungwa, uye ndicho chiratidzo che narcissism. VaNarcissist vanogona kuburitsa nhema dzakajeka, kupomera vamwe nhema, kumisikidza chokwadi, uye pakupedzisira kukanganisa chokwadi chako.

Zviratidzo zvekupenya gasi zvinosanganisira zvinotevera:

• Hauchisiri kunzwa semunhu wawaimbova.
• Iwe unonzwa uchinetseka zvakanyanya uye kushaya chivimbo kupfuura zvawaimbove iwe.
• Iwe unowanzo shamisika kana uri kunyanyisa kunetseka.
• Iwe unonzwa kunge zvese zvaunoita zvisina kunaka.
• Unogara uchifunga kuti imhosva yako kana zvinhu zvikashata.
• Uri kukumbira ruregerero kazhinji.
• Iwe une pfungwa yekuti chimwe chinhu chakanganisika, asi haukwanise kuziva kuti chii.
• Iwe unowanzo bvunza kana mhinduro yako kune mumwe wako yakakodzera.
• Unoita zvikonzero zvehunhu hwemumwe wako.

“Vanoita izvi kuitira kuti vamwe vasahadzika senzira yekuwana chinzvimbo. VaNarciss vanobudirira nekunamatwa, saka vanoshandisa nzira dzekunyengerera kuti uite izvozvo, "anodaro Peykar.

8. Vanotamba vachitenderera vachitsanangura hukama

Pane zviuru zvezvikonzero zvekuti mumwe munhu angangoda kusheedzera hukama hwako. Pamwe ivo vari polyamorous, imi mese mabvumirana kune shamwari-ne-mabhenefiti mamiriro, kana iwe uri kungoichengeta zvisina kujairika.

Asi kana mumwe wako achiratidza zvimwe zvezviratidzo pane izvi zvinyorwa uye asingazvipire, ingangodaro mureza mutsvuku.

Vamwe vanonyengerera vanokutarisira kuti uvabate sevamwe vako kuitira kuti vagowana mukana wehukama, hwepamoyo, uye pabonde uyezve vachichengeta tarisiro kune avo vavanoona sevakakwirira.

Muchokwadi, unogona kucherechedza kuti mumwe wako anokufarira kana kutarisa vamwe pamberi pako, mhuri yako, kana shamwari dzako, anodaro Therapist April Kirkwood, LPC, munyori we "Working My Way Back to Me: A Frank Memoir of Self- Kuwanikwa. ”

"Kana iwe ukataura uye uine yako manzwiro pamusoro pekusaremekedza kwavo, ivo vanokupomera mhosva yekukonzeresa bopoto, vanokudaidza kuti unopenga, woishandisa sechimwe chikonzero chekusazvipira zvizere kwauri. Kana iwe ukasataura kana izwi, [izvo zvakare zvinopa] isina-kutaurwa meseji yekuti hauna kukodzera kuremekedzwa, "anodaro.

Kana ichirira senge yekurasikirwa-kurasikirwa nemamiriro, ndizvozvo nekuti ndizvo. Asi rangarira kuti iwe unokodzera mumwe munhu akazvipira kwauri sezvawakaita kwavari.

9. Vanofunga kuti vakarurama pachinhu chose… uye havambokumbira ruregerero

Kurwa narcissist anonzwa zvisingaite.

"Hapana kukakavadzana kana kukanganisa neanonyomba, nekuti vanogara vakarurama," anodaro Tawwab. “Ivo havazoona hazvo kusawirirana sekusawirirana. Vachangozviona sezvavanokudzidzisa chokwadi. "

Sekureva kwaPeykar, unogona kunge uchifambidzana narcissist kana iwe uchinzwa kunge mumwe wako:

• haakunzwe
• havazokunzwisisi
• haatore mutoro wechikamu chavo munyaya
• haamboedze kubvumirana

Ipo ichipedza hukama iri rakanakisa mutambo chirongwa neye narcissist, Weiler anopa zano pakudzivirira kutaurirana uye nharo. “Zvinozoita kuti unzwe kupenga. Chinhu chinotemesa musoro narcissist kushaikwa kwekutonga uye kushomeka kwekurwa. Kana ukarwisa zvishoma, simba shoma raunogona kuvapa pamusoro pako, zvinobva zvaita nani, ”anodaro.

Uye nekuti havafungi kuti vakanganisa, havambokumbira ruregerero. About chero chinhu.

Iko kusakwanisa kukumbira ruregerero kunogona kuzviratidza mumamiriro ezvinhu apo mumwe wako zviri pachena kuti ane mhosva, se:

• kuratidza kumusoro kwekuchengetwa kwemanheru kunonoka
• kusadana pavakati vaizodaro
• kudzima zvirongwa zvakakosha miniti yekupedzisira, sekusangana nevabereki vako kana shamwari

Vabatsiri vakanaka vanokwanisa kucherechedza kana vaita chimwe chinhu chisina kunaka vokumbira ruregerero pachiri.

10. Ivo vanovhunduka kana iwe ukaedza kusiyana navo

Ukangodzokera kure, anonyanyisa anoedza izvo zvakanyanya kuoma kukuchengetedza iwe muhupenyu hwavo.

"Pakutanga, vanogona kukuda-bhomba iwe. Vachataura zvinhu zvese zvakanaka kuti ufunge kuti zvachinja, "anodaro Peykar.

Asi munguva pfupi, ivo vanokuratidza ivo havana kumbobvira vanyatsochinja. Uye nekuda kweizvi, vazhinji vanokanganisa vanozviwana vari mu-zvakare, vasiri-zvakare hukama hwehukama kusvikira vawana mumwe munhu wekufambidzana naye.

11.… uye kana iwe ukavaratidza kuti wapedza chaizvo, vanopenga

Kana iwe ukasimbirira kuti wapedza nehukama, ivo vanozoita icho chinangwa chavo kukukuvadza iwe nekuvasiya, Peykar anodaro.

"Ego yavo yakapwanywa zvakanyanya zvekuti inovakonzera kunzwa hasha neruvengo kune chero munhu 'akavatadzira'. Imhaka yekuti zvese imhosva kune vamwe vese. Kusanganisira kurambana, ”anodaro.

Mhedzisiro yacho? Ivo vanogona kukuipa-muromo iwe kuponesa kumeso. Kana ivo vanogona kutanga pakarepo kufambidzana nemumwe munhu kuti iwe unzwe godo uye ubatsire kupora kwavo ego. Kana ivo vanozoedza kuba shamwari dzako.

Chikonzero, anodaro Tawwab, ndechekuti mukurumbira wakanaka unoreva zvese kwavari, uye havazobvumidze chero munhu kana chero chinhu kuchikanganisa.

Zvakanaka, saka uri kufambidzana narcissist… zvino chii?

Kana iwe uri muhukama nemumwe munhu ane NPD, mikana iwe watove wakamboona zvakati wandei.

Kuva muhukama nemumwe munhu anogara achishoropodza, kuzvidza, kuvhenekesa gasi, uye kusazvipira kwauri kunetesa mweya. Ndicho chikonzero, kune hwako pfungwa, nyanzvi dzinokurudzira kuGTFO.

Maitiro ekugadzirira kurambana neanarcissist

• Gara uchizviyeuchidza iwe kuti iwe unofanirwa zvirinani.
• Simbisa hukama hwako neshamwari dzako dzinonzwira tsitsi.
• Gadzira netiweki yekutsigira neshamwari uye mhuri dzinogona kubatsira kukuyeuchidza izvo zviri zvechokwadi.
• Kurudzira mumwe wako kuenda kurapi.
• Wana murapi iwe pachako.

"Iwe haugone kushandura munhu ane narcissistic hunhu kusagadzikana kana kumuita kuti afare nekumuda zvakakwana kana nekuzvishandura iwe kuti usangane nezvido zvavo nezvishuwo. Havazombofi vakaenderana newe, havangambonzwira tsitsi zvawakasangana nazvo, uye unogara uchinzwa sekunge hauna hukama navo, ”anodaro Grace.

"VaNarcissist havagone kunzwa kuzadzikiswa muhukama, kana mune chero nzvimbo yehupenyu hwavo, nekuti hapana chinombova chakakosha kwavari," anowedzera.

Chaizvoizvo, haumbofi wakakwanira ivo, nekuti havana kumbokwana ivo.

“Chinhu chakanakisa chaungaita kucheka hukama. Usavape tsananguro. Usape mukana wechipiri. Siyana navo uye usape mukana wechipiri, wechitatu kana wechina, ”anodaro Grace.

Nekuti munyengeri anowanzoita kuedza kukurukura newe uye kukushungurudza nemafoni kana zvinyorwa kana vanyatsogadzirisa kurambwa, Krol anokurudzira kuvadzivirira kuti vakubatsire kunamatira nesarudzo yako.

Rangarira: Chinyorwa ichi hachina kuitirwa kuongorora mumwe wako. Izvo zvinorehwa kuratidza maitiro asingagamuchirwe uye maitiro mune zvehukama hwerudo, hwakaenzana kudyidzana. Hapana chimwe chezviratidzo izvi chinonongedzera kuhukama hune hutano, NPD kana kwete.

Uye kuva nechimwe kana zvitanhatu zvezviratidzo izvi hakuiti kuti mumwe wako ave narcissist. Pane kudaro, chiri chikonzero chakanaka chekutarisazve kana iwe uri kubudirira muhukama hwako. Hausiwe unokonzeresa maitiro avo, asi une basa rekuzvitarisira.

Gabrielle Kassel ari kutamba-rugby, kutamba-matope, protein-smoothie-kusanganisa, kudya-kugadzirira, CrossFitting, New York-based Wellness munyori. Iye ari kuva munhu wemangwanani, kuyedza iyo Whole30 kudenha, uye kudya, kudhakwa, kukwesha pamwe, kukwesha pamwe, uye kugezwa nemarasha, zvese muzita rezvenhau. Munguva yake yekusununguka, anogona kuwanikwa achiverenga mabhuku ekuzvibatsira, kubhenji-bhenji, kana kudzidzira hygge. Mutevere pairi Instagram.