4 Zvese-Zvese-Chaizvo Zvikonzero Shamwari Dzinorambana (uye Maitiro Ekuita)

Zvemukati

• Maitiro Ekuita-uye Maitiro Ekurapa
• Ongororo ye

Kutyaira neimwe nzira kumba kubva kubasa kunzvenga imba yake. Kumuvharira pa Instagram. Kusamufadza paFacebook. Kudzivisa maresitorendi kwaungasangana naye. Izvi zvinonzwika zvakanyanya seizvo wawakambokuitira mushure mekuparadzana kwakashata, asi munguva dzangu dziri kure-kubva-kuzvitutumadza, ndinogona kutaura kuti ndakaita zvinhu izvi (kana kuti ndakaitirwa zvinhu izvi) neaimbova BFF. .

"Kuputsa shamwari kunogona kuva chiitiko chakanyanya kuzviparadzanisa pane kurambana nemudiwa," anodaro Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., chiremba wezvepfungwa uye purofesa wezvepfungwa paNYU School of Medicine. Asi ivo havataurwe nezvayo zvakanyanya. "Shamwari dzechikadzi padzinorambana, vakadzi vanobatanidzwa vanozeza kuudza vamwe vanhu vanogona kupa rutsigiro nekuda kwekunyadziswa kwevanhu. Zvinoshamisa kuti, munhu mumwe chete angave akatendeukira kwaari kuti atsigirwe angave ari BFF waakarambana naye." (Yakabatana: Mhedzisiro Inoshamisa Shamwari Dzako Dzinayo paKuita Maitiro Ekurovedza muviri)

Saka nei izvi zvichiitika, pamwe izvozvi munguva yedu yedhijitari kupfuura nakare kose? Uye chii chinofanirwa kuitwa nemukadzi-kunze kwekunyudza kusuwa kwake pamusoro pegirazi rewaini achiona zvinyoro-nyoro episodhi yeshamwari-yakapatsanurwa show. Ex-Zvakanakisa? (Hongu, iripo.) Hezvino zvinotaurwa nevekutsvagisa uye nehukama nehunyanzvi zvikonzero zviri zvina zvezvikonzero zvakajairika pals chikamu, pamwe nemazano ekuti ungadzorere sei kumashure.

1. Iyo inononoka kukukurwa.

Panzvimbo pokuputika kukuru, imwe yevakawanda vanoparadza ushamwari hunoitika zvishoma nezvishoma. "Chigumbu chinogona kukura apo mumwe munhu anonzwa aodzwa mwoyo kana kuti kuodzwa mwoyo nomumwe, kwete kamwe chete, asi zvakare, uyezve. Nokufamba kwenguva, unonzwa sokuti shamwari yacho haipo painodiwa," Levine anodaro, saka iwe unogumburwa. . Tanga nekutaura uchitaurirana nemumwe uye nekushandira kune zvakafanana, inotsigirana nzvimbo. "Asi nyaya dzekukurukurirana dzinowanzova pakati." Kana iwe usingakwanise kuuya kuchisarudzo kana iyo MIA pal isinganzwe kunge chero chinhu chakaipa, inogona kunge iri nguva yekuidaidza kuti yapera.

2. Imhosva yeushamwari.

Zvichida chiri pachena zvikuru chevose vanova shamwari, “apa ndipo apo shamwari inoita chimwe chinhu chinonyangadza zvikuru, hachigoni kukanganwika, sokureva nhema, kuba, kana kuti kuva nevatano nomumwe wako,” Levine anotsanangura kudaro. Kunze kwekuve nehasha, zviito izvi zvinorwadza chaizvo. Saka kana iwe uri nyajambwa weiyi mhosva (s), usanzwe zvakashata pamusoro pekusaedza kugadzirisa fenzi dzehukama. Asi rangarira zano rapamusoro raLevine: "Usazvidze shamwari yako kune shamwari.

3. Energy vampires.

"Kana munhu mumwe achigara achiedza, kana ari kukumbira uye achigara achikumbira kunzwirwa, izvo zvinodiwa zvinogona kuyamwa simba rese kubva kune imwe shamwari. Zvinonetesa kugara uchingoshanda nesimba," anodaro Levine. Asi nei izvi zvichiitika? Ingori makumi mashanu muzana yeshamwari inodzokedzana, vaongorori veMIT vakawana, uye isu takashata pakuona kuti ndevapi vana zvechokwadi shamwari.

4. Kupupura mweya.

"Zvichienzaniswa nehukama hweropa pakati penhengo dzemhuri, hukama neshamwari ndezvekuzvidira. Tinosarudza shamwari dzedu nekuti dzinosimudzira hupenyu hwedu," anodaro Levine. Ndicho chimwe chezvikonzero zvakawanda nei zvichirwadza zvakanyanya kana shamwari ikangonyangarika-kungave izvo zvinoreva kuramba kukoka kwese kana kungosapindura mafoni kana zvinyorwa. "Patinokudziridza hushamwari hwepedyo, hwepedyo, hatitombo funga nezve mukana wekuti hushamwari hungapera," anowedzera.

Chimwe chezvikamu zvakaomarara: Kazhinji hapana chikonzero chakajeka nei iye Caspers, saka zvakaomarara kufunga kuti nei usisiri shamwari.

Maitiro Ekuita-uye Maitiro Ekurapa

Chokutanga, “gamuchira chokwadi chokuti vanhu vanochinja, sezvinoita mamiriro ezvinhu oupenyu, uye hahusi ushamwari hwose hunogara nokusingaperi. Usafunga kuti kurambana kunoparadza ushamwari hwose. shamwari iri nani uye nekukubatsira kuita sarudzo dziri nani mune ramangwana," Levine anodaro.

Zvadaro chengeta aya matipi mupfungwa paunenge uchifambira mberi:

1. Usaibata.

"Varume kana shamwari dzechirume dzinogona kurerutsa kurambana se 'katsi kurwa,'" asi hazviwanzo kuitika, Levine anodaro. "Munhu akarambana neshamwari anganetseka kuti kana akafumura kurambana, vamwe vakadzi vachafunga kuti haasi shamwari yakanaka kana kuti haagoni kuchengeta shamwari." Saka kana iwe uchitya kutaura nezvazvo, isa chinyoreso pabepa, anodaro Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., purofesa uye sachigaro wepfungwa paMonmouth University muNew Jersey uye cocreator uye mupepeti weScienceOfRelationships.com. "Kunyora nezvechiitiko kuchakubatsira kuronga pfungwa dzako uye kukupa mukana wekutarisa pazvinhu zvakanaka mukuwedzera pane zvisina kunaka."

2. Wedzera kusvika kwako.

Mufaro wako unokanganiswa zvakanyanya neshamwari dzako, uye kunyangwe shamwari dzako dzehama, chidzidzo chakaburitswa mu British Medical Zvinyorwa. Saka enda kumberi: Tevedzera uyo waunoziva pa Instagram (iwe unoziva, mukadzi anogara achiita seanoseka uye anofarira) uye tanga kurova kaviri pazvinhu zvinosimudzira kunyemwerera. Mufaro wake unogona kududzira kune wako, uye ndiani anoziva? Unogona kufemerwa kumukumbira kofi.

3. Tarisa pane shamwari dzauinadzo.

Izvi zvichabatsira kuti pfungwa dzako dzirege kunyanya kutaura nezveshamwari yapfuura. "Pakutanga, chimwe chezvikamu chakaomesesa chinogona kunge chiri kubata nemipengo mune yako purogiramu. Izvo zvinogona kuve zviyeuchidzo zvenguva dzose nzira iyo shamwari yako yekare yaibata hupenyu hwako," anodaro Levine. Panzvimbo pekufunganya nezve izvo zvaive, shandisa zvakanyanya hushamwari hunosara. Kunyangwe hukama hushoma hwakasimba hwakaratidzwa kukubatsira kuti urarame makore-uye anofara-makore, saka simbisa zuva revhiki kutenderera neshamwari iyoyo yauri kungobata kudya kwemanheru kamwe chete pamwedzi. "Gara wakabatikana, tevera zvaunofarira uye zvaunofarira, uye shingairira kutsvaga hushamwari hutsva uye kumutsidzira zvekare," anodaro Levine. (Yakabatana: Sayenzi Inoti Kushamwaridzana Ndiko Kiyi Yekusingaperi Hutano uye Mufaro)

4. Usatya kuenda kune zvakanaka.

Kana iwe uchinzwa wakasarudzika mushure mekuparara kweBFF, usatya kutsvaga rubatsiro rumwe chete. Kana, "funga kutaura kune nyanzvi yehutano hwepfungwa kuti ubatsire kukunda dambudziko," anodaro. (Yakabatana: Nei Munhu wese Achifanira Kuyedza Therapy Pasina Pamwechete)

Ongororo ye