Hwemai Hwakandimanikidza Kutarisana Nekunetseka Kwangu - Uye Nditsvage Rubatsiro

Zvemukati

• Kutsvaga murapi
• Kuibhadhara kumberi
• Matipi evanaamai vane kusagadzikana kwekushushikana
• Ziva kuti kunetseka kwako, kwete kwemwana wako
• Usabvunze vadikanwa kuti vaite zvinokutyisa
• Bvuma kuti uchanzwa kunetseka
• Wana rubatsiro rwemhizha
• Ita nguva yekuzvitarisira
• Kutsvaga murapi

Hutano uye hutano zvinobata mumwe nemumwe wedu zvakasiyana. Iyi inyaya yemunhu mumwe.

Amai Kim Walters * vakazviwana rimwe zuva vachirwadziwa nemarwadzo anorwadza, anorwadza nzeve asingazoperi. Akakwanisa kuwana vana vadiki vasingade vakapfeka vakapinda mumota kuti azviendese kwachiremba.

Saamai vanogara-pamba vaishanda chikamu nguva vari kure, kudzora vana zvaive zvakajairika - asi zuva iri zvakamutorera.

“Hana yangu yairova ichibuda muchipfuva changu, ndakanzwa kufema, uye muromo wangu wainge wedonje. Kunyange ini ndaiziva izvi sezviratidzo zvekushushikana kwandakange ndarwa - uye kuviga - kwehupenyu hwangu hwese, zvakauya kwandiri kuti ndaizo'wanikwa 'kana ndikatadza kuzviunganidza pamwe pandakasvika kuhofisi yechiremba uye vakatora hutano hwangu, ”Kim anogovera.

Kuwedzera kushushikana kwake kwaive chokwadi chekuti iye nemurume wake vaibhururuka zuva raitevera kubva kuChicago kuenda rwendo rusina mwana kuenda kuCalifornia nyika yewaini.

“Chinhu ndechekuti, kana uchizvidya moyo pamusoro pekufunganya kuri kuuya, kunozouya. Uye zvakaitika, ”anodaro Kim. "Ndakava nekutya kwekutanga muhofisi yechiremba muna Gumiguru 2011. Ini ndaisakwanisa kuona, ndaifanirwa kufambiswa kuenda pachikero, uye BP yangu yaive nepadenga."

Kim paakaenda parwendo kuNapa Valley nemurume wake, anoti yaive nguva yekuchinja kwehutano hwepfungwa.

“Pandakadzokera kumba, ndaiziva kuti kushushikana kwangu kwasvika pamusoro uye kwanga kusiri kudzikira. Ndakanga ndisina chido uye ndaisagona kurara usiku, dzimwe nguva ndichimuka mukutya. Ini ndaisatomboda kuverengera vana vangu (chinova ndicho chinhu chandaifarira kuita), uye izvo zvairemadza moyo, "anoyeuka.

"Ndanga ndichitya kuenda chero kwandanga ndiri uye ndainzwa kushushikana, ndichitya kuti ndichavhunduka."

Kushushikana kwake kwakarova kwese kwese kwaaienda - chitoro, raibhurari, miziyamu yevana, paki, uye kupfuura. Zvisinei, aiziva kuti kugara mukati nevana vaviri vechidiki yakanga isiri iyo mhinduro.

“Saka, ndakaramba ndichienda zvisinei nekuti ndanga ndakarara zvakadii husiku hwapfuura kana kushungurudzika kwandakaita zuva iri. Handina kumbomira. Mazuva ese ainetesa uye azere kutya, ”Kim anoyeuka.

Ndipo paakazofunga zvekubatsirwa.

Kutsvaga murapi

Kim aida kuburitsa pachena kuti kushushikana kwake kwakasanganiswa nezvimiro zvemuviri pamwe nezvepfungwa. Akatanga nekuona chiremba wepamoyo wekutanga uyo akaona kuti utachiona hwake hwakange husiri kushanda nemazvo uye akaraira mishonga yakakodzera.

Akashanyirawo naturopath uye dietitian, uyo akaedza kuongorora kana zvimwe zvekudya zvakakonzera kushushikana kwake.

"Ndainzwa sekunge ndaidzingirira chimwe chinhu nekuti izvi hazvina kubatsira," anodaro Kim.

Panguva imwecheteyo, mumwe wemubatanidzwa chiremba akarayira Xanax kuti atorwe sezvaidikanwa Kim paakanzwa kutya kwekutya kuri kuuya.

“Izvo zvainge zvisiri kuzondishandira. Ndaigara ndichizvidya moyo, uye ndaiziva kuti mishonga iyi yaipindwa muropa kwete mhinduro dzenguva refu, ”anotsanangura kudaro Kim.

Pakupedzisira, kuwana murapi chaiye kwakaratidza kubatsira zvakanyanya.

“Kunyangwe kuzvidya mwoyo kwaigara kuri muhupenyu hwangu, ndakazviita makore makumi matatu nemaviri ndisina kuona murapi. Kuwana imwe kwakandinetsa, uye ndakapfuura nemana ndisati ndagara pane yaindishandira, ”anodaro Kim.

Mushure mekumuongorora aine kushushikana kwakazara, murapi wake akashandisa kugona kuzvibata maitiro ekurapa (CBT), iyo inokudzidzisa iwe kugadzirisa zvakare pfungwa dzisingabatsire.

"Semuenzaniso, 'Handimbofi ndakazvidya moyo zvakare' yakave 'Ini ndinogona kuva neyakajairika tsika, asi ndinogona kurarama nekuzvidya mwoyo,'" anotsanangura kudaro Kim.

Iye murapi akashandisawo, izvo zvinokuisa pachena kukutya kwako uye zvinokutadzisa kubva kuzvidzivirira.

“Izvi zvaibatsira zvikuru. Pfungwa yekusimbisa kurapwa ndeyekuzviratidza kune zvinhu zvaunotya, kakawanda, zvishoma nezvishoma, "anodaro. "Kudzokororwazve kune zvinotyisa kunotibvumidza kuti 'tigare' kuzvidya mwoyo uye kudzidza kuti kuzvidya moyo pachako hakusi kunotyisa."

Murapi wake akamupa basa rechikoro. Semuenzaniso, kubvira paakatorwa BP yake kwakakonzera kushushikana, Kim akaudzwa kuti aone mabudiro eropa paYouTube, atore BP yake muchitoro, uye adzokere kuhofisi yechiremba kwaakatanga kutya uye kugara imba yekumirira.

"Pandaipinda muJewel kunotora BP yangu yaiita kunge yakapusa pakutanga, ndakazoona sekuzviita kwandakaita, ndakanga ndotya kutya," anodaro Kim.

“Pandakatarisana nezvinondityisa, pachinzvimbo chekuzvidzivirira, mamwe mamiriro akaita sekuendesa vana kumuseum kana raibhurari zvakave nyore. Mushure megore rekutya nguva dzese, ndanga ndichiona mwenje. ”

Kim akashanyira murapi wake kashoma pamwedzi kwemakore matatu mushure mekutya kwekutanga kwekutya. Nebudiriro yese yaakaita, akanzwa shungu dzekubatsira vamwe vanosangana nekushushikana kuita zvakafanana.

Kuibhadhara kumberi

Mu2016, Kim akadzokera kuchikoro kunotora dhigirii raTenzi mune zvemagariro basa. Iye anoti icho chaisave sarudzo chiri nyore, asi pakupedzisira chakanakisa chaakamboita.

“Ini ndaive nemakore makumi matatu nemasere nevana vaviri uye ndainetsekana nemari nenguva. Uye ndaitya. Ko kana ndikakundikana? Panguva ino, zvakadaro, ndakange ndoziva zvekuita kana chimwe chinhu chaindityisa - kutarisana nacho, ”anodaro Kim.

Nerutsigiro rwemurume wake, mhuri, uye shamwari, Kim akapedza kudzidza muna2018, uye ave kushanda sechiremba muchirongwa chekurapa varwere kuchipatara chehutano muIllinois kwaanoshandisa kurapwa kwekubatsira vanhu vakuru vane hunhu hwekumanikidzira hunhu (OCPD ), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), uye kusagadzikana.

"Kunyangwe zvakanyanya kumashure kupfuura zvazvakamboita, kushushikana kwangu kuchiri kuda kuuya kumberi dzimwe nguva. Sezvo ndakadzidza kuzviita apo chakanyanya kunditambudza, ndinoramba ndichienderera zvisinei nazvo, ”anotsanangura kudaro Kim.

“Kutarisa vanhu vanotambura zvakanyanya kupfuura zvandakamboita vanotarisana nekutya kwavo kwakanyanya mazuva ese kurudziro kwandiri kuti ndirambe ndichigara pamwe nekushushikana kwangu, zvakare. "Ndinoda kufunga kuti ndakasimuka kubva mumamiriro angu ezvinhu ekutongwa nekutya uye kutya - nekutarisana navo."

Matipi evanaamai vane kusagadzikana kwekushushikana

Patricia Thornton, PhD, chiremba wepfungwa ane rezinesi muNew York City, anoti kushushikana uye kusagadzikana-kusagadzikana kusagadzikana (OCD) kunowanzoitika makore gumi neane gumi nerimwe zvekare zvakare muhukuru hwevechidiki.

"Zvakare, pane nguva muhupenyu hwemumwe munhu kana aine OCD kana kushushikana kunounza kutanga nyowani kwezviratidzo," Thornton anoudza Healthline. "Dzimwe nguva vanhu vanga vachikwanisa kubata neOCD kana kushushikana uye vazvibata nemazvo, asi kana zvimwe zvido zvanyanya kunyanya ndipo OCD nekushushikana kunogona kuwedzera uye kukonzereswa."

SaKim, kuve amai kunogona kuve imwe yenguva idzi, anowedzera Thornton.

Kuti abatsire kudzora kushushikana panguva yekuva amai, anoratidza zvinotevera

Ziva kuti kunetseka kwako, kwete kwemwana wako

Paunenge uri pakadzika kwekushushikana, Thornton anoti edza kusaendesa kushushikana kwako pavana vako.

"Kushushikana kunotapukira - kwete sechirwere - asi mupfungwa yekuti kana mubereki achishushikana, mwana wavo achatora kunetseka ikoko," anodaro. "Zvakakosha kana iwe uchida kuva nemwana akasimba kuti usatapure kuzvidya moyo kwako uye uzive kuti ndizvo yako kufunganya. ”

Kune vanamai vane kushushikana kunokonzerwa nekutya kuchengetedzeka kwevana vavo, anoti, "Unofanirwa kubatsira kudzikamisa kushushikana kwako kuitira kuti ugone kutarisira vana vako. Kuva mubereki ari nani kuri kubvumira vana vako kuti vaite zvinhu zvinotyisa, ingave nzira yekudzidza kufamba kana kuongorora nzvimbo dzekutamba kana kuwana rezinesi rekutyaira. "

Usabvunze vadikanwa kuti vaite zvinokutyisa

Kana kuendesa vana vako kupaki kuchikonzera kutya, zvakasikwa kukumbira mumwe munhu kuti avatore. Nekudaro, Thornton anoti kuita izvi zvinongowedzera kushushikana.

“Nguva zhinji, nhengo dzemhuri dzinopinda mukuita kumanikidzwa kwemurwere. Saka, kana amai vakati, 'Ini handikwanise kuchinja manapukeni emwana,' uye baba vanozviita nguva dzese pachinzvimbo, izvo zviri kubatsira amai kuti vadzivise kunzvenga, "anotsanangura kudaro Thornton.

Kunyange vanhu vazhinji vachida kubatsira nekupinda mukati uye kubvisa kushushikana kwako, anoti chinhu chakanakisa ndechekuti iwe utarisane nazvo iwe pachako.

“Izvi zvinonzwisisika kufamba nekuti vanhu vanoda vanhu vanoda kubatsira, saka ndine vandinoda kupinda muzvirongwa zvekurapwa nevarwere vangu. Nenzira iyi ndinogona kutsanangura zvinobatsira kumurwere nezvisingabatsiri. "

Semuenzaniso, anogona kupa zano kuti mudiwa ati kuna amai vane kushushikana: "Kana iwe usingakwanise kubva pamba, ndinogona kukutorera vana, asi iyi mhinduro yechinguvana. Unofanira kutsvaga nzira yekugona kuzviita wega. ”

Bvuma kuti uchanzwa kunetseka

Thornton anotsanangura kuti kushushikana kuri muropa kusvika pane imwe nhanho, zvichipiwa kuti tsitsi dzedu dzinotinzwira tsitsi dzinotiudza kurwa kana kutiza patinoona njodzi.

Zvisinei, apo njodzi iyo inonzwisisika iri nekuda kwepfungwa dzinounzwa nedambudziko rekushushikana, anoti kurwa kuburikidza ndiyo mhinduro iri nani.

"Iwe unoda kungoenderera uye kubvuma kuti une kunetseka. Semuenzaniso, kana chitoro kana paki zvine njodzi nekuti iwe waive nemhando yekuita kwehupenyu pawanga uripo izvo zvakakugumbura uye zvakakonzeresa tsitsi yako inonzwira tsitsi, [unofanirwa kuziva kuti] hapana njodzi chaiyo kana kuda kutiza ," anoti.

Panzvimbo pekudzivirira chitoro kana paki, Thornton anoti iwe unofanirwa kutarisira kunzwa kunetseka munzvimbo idzodzo ugare nayo.

“Ziva kuti kufunganya hakusi kukuuraya. Unova nani nekutaura kuti 'Zvakanaka, ndiri kunetseka, uye ndanaya.' ”

Wana rubatsiro rwemhizha

Thornton anoziva kuti mazano ake ese harisi basa riri nyore, uye kazhinji inoda rubatsiro rwehunyanzvi.

Anoti kutsvagurudza kunoratidza kuti CBT neERP zvinonyanya kushanda pakurapa kusagadzikana kwekushushikana, uye kuraira kutsvaga murapi anoita zvese izvi.

"Kuburitswa kwepfungwa nemanzwiro [izvo zvinokonzeresa kushushikana] uye kudzivirira mhinduro, zvinoreva kuti kusaite chero chinhu nezvazvo, ndiyo nzira yakanakisa yekurapa kusagadzikana kwekushushikana," anodaro Thornton.

“Kushushikana hakumbogara padanho rimwe chete. Ukangozvisiya zvakadaro, zvinodzikira zvega. Asi [kune avo vane chirwere chekushushikana kana OCD], kazhinji pfungwa nemanzwiro zvinokanganisa zvekuti munhu anofunga kuti pane zvavanofanira kuita. ”

Ita nguva yekuzvitarisira

Kunze kwekuwana nguva kure nevana vako uye nguva yekushamwaridzana, Thornton anoti kurovedza muviri kunogona kubatsira zvakanyanya kune avo vane kushushikana uye kushushikana.

“Zviratidzo zvekufunganya zvakaita sekumhanya kwemoyo wako, kudikitira, uye musoro wakareruka zvese zvinogona kuve mhedzisiro yekurovedza muviri kukuru. Nekurovedza muviri, urikudzidzisa huropi hwako kuti uzive kuti kana kumhanya kwemoyo wako, hakufanirwe kuve nenjodzi, asi kunogona kukonzerwa nekushandawo, "anotsanangura kudaro.

Iye zvakare anonongedza kuti cardio kurovedza muviri inogona kukwidziridza manzwiro.

"Ndinoudza varwere vangu kuti vaite cardio katatu kana kana pavhiki," anodaro.

Kutsvaga murapi

Kana iwe uchifarira kutaura nemumwe munhu, Anxiety and Depression Association yeAmerican ine yekutsvaga sarudzo yekutsvaga murapi wepano.

*Zita rakachinjirwa kuvanzika

Cathy Cassata munyori akazvimiririra uyo anonyanya kugadzirisa nyaya dzakakomberedza hutano, hutano hwepfungwa, uye hunhu hwevanhu. Ane hunyanzvi hwekunyora nemanzwiro uye nekubatana nevaverengi nenzira inonzwisisika uye inobata. Verenga zvimwe zvebasa rakepano.