Matipi gumi nemaviri Matipi evanogovana Kugovana Kugadza Zvirinani Midlife Bonde

Zvemukati

• Hapana mubvunzo wakanyanya kunetsa kupindura
• Pakuedza nezvinhu zvitsva
• Funga nezve bonde kupfuura iro P-uye-V
• Dzimwe nzvimbo dzekubata dzinosanganisira dzinosanganisira:
  
• Bvisa autopilot
• Kugadzira bonde chinzvimbo bhaketi runyorwa:
  
• Taura nezve bonde mushure bonde
• Mazano uye mibvunzo yekushandisa kana uchikumbira shanduko:
  
• Verenga bonde "kuzvibatsira" mabhuku pamwechete
• Wedzera matoyi!
• Pakumutsidzira hukama "hwakafa" hwepabonde
• Taura nezvazvo (asi kwete muimba yekurara)
• Zano kubva kuna Shadeen Francis, MFT, bonde, muchato, uye murapi wemhuri:
  
• Kuita bonhora uri wega
• Sari Cooper mazano ekuita bonhora:
  
• Lube kumusoro
• Zviise mukarenda yako
• Asi ita zvepabonde zvinowanzoitika, zvakare
• Pakutsvaga hutano hwako gare gare muhupenyu
• Usarega chinyorwa chichikutadzisa kuongorora
• Zvikomberedze nevanhu vanotsigira kuongorora kwako
• Zviwanikwa zvekutsvaga rutsigiro:
  

Isu tinosanganisira zvigadzirwa zvatinofunga zvinobatsira kuvaverengi vedu. Kana iwe ukatenga kuburikidza nehukama pane ino peji, isu tinogona kuwana diki komisheni. Heano maitiro edu.

Hapana mubvunzo wakanyanya kunetsa kupindura

Kunyangwe iwe warasikirwa nemanzwiro erudo, shuwa iwe nemumwe wako muve nekuwanda (kana kushoma… kana zvirinani) bonde, kana kuda kuyedza (nezvigaro, matoyi, kana mumwe murume kana murume), hapana mubvunzo wezvebonde unotyisa kana kusagadzikana vanoita zvebonde kugadzirisa uye kupindura.

Asi havazi vese munhu akasununguka kutaura nezvezvinhu zvepedyo, kunyanya kana zvichisanganisira kuravira kana zvido mushure mekuve pamwe kwenguva yakareba. Dzimwe nguva, izvo zvave kushanda hazvishande zvekare! Iko hakuna kunyara mukutaura izvo.

Kuti tibatsirwe nzira yekutaurirana kana kusimbisa hukama, takasvika kune vasere vezvepabonde uye takavakumbira kuti vagovane matipi avo akanakisa.

Pakuedza nezvinhu zvitsva

Funga nezve bonde kupfuura iro P-uye-V

Chidzidzo chegore ra2014 chakaburitswa muCortex (rondedzero yakapihwa kuuropi uye maitiro epfungwa) yakaratidza nzvimbo dzinotapira kwazvo pamuviri wako.

Hazvishamise kuti iyo clitoris nepenisiti zvakanyora rondedzero - asi havazi ivo chete nzvimbo dzinogona, kana dzichisimudzirwa, dzinogona kukupengesa.

Dzimwe nzvimbo dzekubata dzinosanganisira dzinosanganisira:

• minyatso
• muromo nemiromo
• nzeve
• mutsipa nape
• chidya chemukati
• kudzika kumashure

Iyo data zvakare inoratidza kuti varume nevakadzi vanogona kutendeuka kubva kune yepedyo kubata kune chero eino erogenous matunhu zvakare, saka kuyedza nekubata yaisazove yakaipa pfungwa.

Kuti aite mutambo kubva mauri, Liz Powell, PsyD, anodzidzisa nezvebonde ane hushamwari weLBBTQ, murairidzi, uye chiremba wepfungwa ane rezinesi anokurudzira kuti: “Bvisa sikarudzi munhengo iyi kwehusiku, vhiki kana mwedzi. Iwe nemudiwa wako mungaongorora sei nekuona kunakidzwa pabonde kana zviri pakati pemakumbo zvisiri patafura? Tsvaga!"

Bvisa autopilot

Paunenge uchinge uine mukomana mumwe chete kwechinguva, zviri nyore kupinda mune zvepabonde-autopilot - iyo kana iwe wanga uripo, iwe unoziva inenge isina unsexy sezvazvinonzwika.

"Kana kusangana pabonde kwawakaitwa nemumwe wako kuchisanganisira nzvimbo mbiri kana nhatu, unogona kunge uchirasikirwa nebonde rausingazive kuti unogona kunakidzwa… uye kudzikisira mafaro aunowana iwe nemumwe wako pamwe chete," anodaro mudzidzisi wezvebonde, Haylin Belay, murongi wechirongwa paVasikana Inc. NYC.

Kugadzira bonde chinzvimbo bhaketi runyorwa:

• kutanga kubatikana mukamuri yega yega mumba mako (mhoro, chitsuwa chekicheni)
• kuita zvepabonde pane imwe nguva yezuva
• kuwedzera mutoyi
• kupfeka kutamba

"Vamwe vanyakuroorana vanopedza makore vachiita bonde 'zvakanaka" chete kuti vaone kuti mumwe wavo akavanda zvakavanzika zvinhu zvakafanana zvavakaita, asi havana kunzwa vakasununguka kutaura nezve chero chavo, "anowedzera.

Taura nezve bonde mushure bonde

Kunyatso shandura yako post-pomp tsika inogona kubatsira kuchengeta imi vaviri muri pedyo, uye maererano nePGA (post-mutambo ongororo), zvinogona kutobatsira kuita yako inotevera romp kunyangwe zvirinani, anodaro wekiriniki wezvepabonde Megan Stubbs, EdD.

"Panzvimbo pekuumburuka kuti ubatwe nehope mushure mebonde, nguva inotevera taura nezve mafambiro ako. Tora nguva ino kupembera mumashure mako nekukurukura zvinhu zvawafarira uye nezvinhu zvauchasvetuka (kana zviripo) zvenguva inotevera, ”anodaro.

Ehezve, Stubbs anoti, zviri nani kutanga nekubhadhara mumwe wako-mu-mhosva kurumbidzwa nezve bonde rawaingova naro - asi kuva akatendeseka pane izvo zvausingade zvachose zvakakosha, zvakare.

Mazano uye mibvunzo yekushandisa kana uchikumbira shanduko:

• "Ndingakuratidze mashandiro andinoita pa…"
• "X anonzwa zvakanaka, unofunga kuti unogona kuita zvimwe zveizvi nguva inotevera?"
• "Ndinonzwa kusununguka kutaura izvi, asi…"
• "Unogona here kuedza kufamba uku?"
• "Rega ndikuratidze kudzika kwandinoifarira."
• "Ndipe ruoko rwako, ndichakuratidza."
• Tarisai kuzvibata kwandinoita. ”

"Ndinokurudzira kucherechedzwa kushanu kwerudo kuchikumbiro chimwe nechimwe chekuchinja," anowedzera Sari Cooper, muvambi uye director weCentre for Love uye Bonde muNYC.

Verenga bonde "kuzvibatsira" mabhuku pamwechete

Tinoverenga mabhuku ekuzvibatsira emari yedu, kuonda, kubata pamuviri, uye kunyangwe mabhureki. Saka wadii kuzvishandisa kubatsira nehupenyu hwedu hwepabonde?

Kunyangwe tarisiro yako iri kumutsidzira hwako hwepabonde hupenyu, kudzidza zvakawanda nezve iyo yevakadzi orgasm, kudzidza iko heck iyo G-nzvimbo iri, kutenderedzwa nepeji-porn, kana kudzidza nzvimbo nyowani - pane bhuku racho.

Uye fungidzira chii?

Sekureva kwechidzidzo che2016 kubva mumagazini Zvepabonde uye Ukama Therapy, vakadzi vanoverenga mabhuku ekuzvibatsira uye verenga fungidziro dzesvomhu vese vakawana huwandu hwakakosha mukufamba kwemavhiki matanhatu pakasvika izvi:

• kuda bonde
• kumutsa zvepabonde
• lubrication
• kugutsikana
• orgasms
• kurwadziwa kunoderedza
• kushanda pabonde kwese

Unoda mamwe mazano here? Aya mabhuku achakubatsira iwe kuti utange kuvaka yako erotica raibhurari.

Powell anokurudzira zvakare kutanga ne "Huya Sezvauri" naEmily Nagoski, iyo inobata zvidzidzo zvine muto senge mukadzi mumwe nemumwe ane mhando yake yakasarudzika yepabonde, uye kuti nhengo yemukadzi ine simba kwazvo pabonde sei uropi hwake.

"Anouya Chekutanga" naIan Kerner zvakare hachisi chinhu chipfupi pane chazvino bonde classic.

Asi Powell anoti zvitoro zvakawanda zvine chekuita nezvebonde zvichave nemasherufu mashoma emabhuku anogona kutendeuka.

Wedzera matoyi!

Imwe nzira iyo Stubbs inobatsira vakaroorana kuti vaongorore zvisingazivikanwe iri kuvakurudzira kuti vatengese uye edza zvigadzirwa zvitsva pamwechete.

"Matoyi epabonde zvinhu zvakanaka zvekuwedzera muhomwe yako yepabonde yezvinyengeri, uye nemhando dzakasiyana siyana dziripo, une chokwadi chekuwana chimwe chinhu chinoshanda newe nemumwe wako," anodaro Stubbs. Izvi zvinogona kureva chero chinhu kubva kune vibrator kana bhagi plug, oiri yemassage, kana pendi yemuviri.

"Usapfuure nezvakakurumbira, enda neizvo zvinonzwisisika zvinonakidza kwauri. Ongororo dzinogona kubatsira, asi teerera iwe, ”anoyeuchidza Molly Adler, LCSW, ACS, director weSex Therapy NM uye mushandirapamwe weboka reSer Serve, nzvimbo yezvepabonde.

Pakumutsidzira hukama "hwakafa" hwepabonde

Taura nezvazvo (asi kwete muimba yekurara)

"Kana hukama hwakaita bonde 'hwafa,' panogona kuve nezvakawanda zvinoitika panguva imwe chete pakutamba. Asi chimwe chezvinhu chinonyanya kushamisa ndechekushaya kutaurirana, ”anodaro Baley.

“Semuenzaniso, mumwe munhu anogona kufunga kuti mumwe wake anonyatsogutsikana nebonde ravainaro. Asi kutaura zvazviri, mumwe wavo anosiya kusangana pabonde achinzwa kusagutsikana uye kunetseka. ”

"Zvisinei nebonde remunhu kana libido, vangangove vasiri kuda bonde risingavapi mufaro. Kuvhura mitsara nezve kutaurirana kunogona kubatsira kugadzirisa chinokonzeresa che'kurara yakafa, 'kungave kushaya mufaro, kushushikana kwehukama, kuda dzimwe nzira dzehukama, kana kushaya libido. "

Zano kubva kuna Shadeen Francis, MFT, bonde, muchato, uye murapi wemhuri:

• Kuti hurukuro ienderere, tanga nezvakanaka, kana uchikwanisa kuiwana.
• Ko nezvehukama ichine hupenyu mairi?
• Iwe unogona sei kukura uye kuvaka pane izvo zvinoshanda?
• Kana iwe wakanamatira, ita musangano nemurapi wepabonde uyo anogona kukubatsira iwe kuwana hwenyu hwehukama hwehukama hwako.

Kutaura nezve chokwadi chekuti iwe hausi kuita bonde mumba yekurara kunogona kuwedzera rukoko rwekusamanikidza zvisina kufanira kune vese vaviri, ndosaka Baley achikurudzira kuita hurukuro iri kunze kwemba yekurara.

Kuita bonhora uri wega

"Bonhora rakanakira hutano hwako hwepanyama uye hwepfungwa uye ndiyo imwe yenzira dzakanakisa dzekudzidza nezve hutano hwako," anodaro Cooper. "Ini ndinokurudzirawo avo vanogunun'una nezvezasi libido kuti vaedze kuzvifadza, izvo zvinochengeta bonde mupfungwa dzavo uye zvinovabatsira kusimbisa hukama hwavo pabonde ravo."

Cooper anowedzera kuti hapana nzira chaiyo kana yakaipa yekuita bonhora. Kunyangwe iwe uchishandisa maoko ako, mapiro, mvura yekumhanyisa, vibrators, kana mamwe matoyi, uri kuzviita nemazvo.

Asi kunyangwe iwe uine yako yaunofarira kuyedza-uye-kwechokwadi kuita bonhora, kurongedza yako yega nguva kunogona kutungamira kune yakawiriranwa pabonde.

Sari Cooper mazano ekuita bonhora:

• Kana iwe uchigara uchishandisa maoko ako, edza toyi.
• Kana iwe uchigara uchiita bonhora usiku, edza chikamu chemangwanani.
• Kana iwe uchigara uri kumusana kwako, edza kupidigura pamusoro.

Lube kumusoro

“Ini ndinoseka kuti unogona kuyera hupenyu hwepabonde sepamberi nepashure-lube, asi ndinoreva. Lube rinogona kunge rakachinja mutambo zvakanyanya kune vakaroorana vazhinji, ”anodaro Adler.

Kune zvikonzero zvakawanda zvekuti mukadzi anogona kusangana nekutsi kwemukadzi kuoma. Ichokwadi ndechekuti kunyangwe iwe ukapenga uye wogona kungofunga nezve bonde nemunhu uyu nariini narini (kana kunyangwe husiku humwe chete) lube inogona kuita kuti kusangana kwacho kunakidze.

Muchokwadi, kumwe kuongorora kwakatarisa kune vakadzi mazana maviri nemakumi mana nevashanu nemafungiro avo kutenderedza mafuta. Vakadzi vakapedzisa kuti lube rakaita kuti zvive nyore kwavari kuita orgasm, uye vakasarudza bonde kana ranyorova.

Adler anonyora mapiritsi ekudzivirira kuberekwa, kushushikana, zera, uye kushaya mvura mumuviri sezvinoita zvikonzero. Vaginal kuoma kunogona kuitikawo paunenge uchikwegura kana kupinda kumwedzi.

Kana iwe uri wekutanga-nguva lube mutengi, Adler inoratidza zvinotevera:

• Gara kure nemafuta-based lubes. Kunze kwekunge iwe uri mune murume mumwe uye kuyedza-kutora-nhumbu kana imwe-inodzivirirwa hukama, dzivirira mafuta-anotsigisa mafuta sezvo oiri inogona kuputsa latex mumakondomu.
• Rangarira kuti silicone-based lubes inogona kunge isingaenderane nesilicone-based matoyi. Saka chengetedza iyo silicone lube yezvinhu zvisiri-silicone matoyi, kana shandisa silicone-mvura yakasanganiswa lube.
• Tarisa zvigadzirwa zviri glycerin uye isina shuga. Zvese izvi zvigadzirwa zvinokwanisa kushandura pH yemukadzi wako uye zvinotungamira kuzvinhu senge mbiriso hutachiona.
• Rangarira kuti zvigadzirwa zvemumba zvakawanda hazvisi makuru echinomiririra lube. Dzivisa sipo, conditioner, batare, mafuta omuorivhi, petroleum jelly, uye coconut mafuta, kunyangwe kana vakadaro vari inotsvedza.

Zviise mukarenda yako

Chokwadi, kuronga bonde kazhinji kunowana unzwisisike ugh. Asi inzwa Stubbs kunze:

"Ndoziva kuti vanhu vazhinji vanofunga kuti nguva dzaenda kana kuti dzinokanganisa mafungiro, asi mikana iripo ndeyekuti kana uchigara uchikurudzira uye mumwe wako achigara akakuvhara ... panogona kuve nekutsamwa."

"Zviponese kubva pakurambwa uye nemumwe wako kuti unzwe kusuwa nekugara uchiti kwete nekuita chirongwa," anodaro Stubbs. “Bvumiranai pa frequency ichashanda mose uye kubva ipapo. Iine purogiramu iripo, iwe unotora kunetseka kwekuuya kuri kurambwa kubva patafura. "Aya ndiwo mamiriro ekukunda."

Uyezve, kuziva iwe kuti uchaita bonde gare gare kunozokuisa iwe mune dzepabonde-pfungwa zuva rese.

Asi ita zvepabonde zvinowanzoitika, zvakare

"Kunyangwe kuronga uye kuita nguva yebonde kune hutano, vamwe vakaroorana havazvipe ivo rusununguko rwekuita bonde kana manzwiro achinge aripo nekuda kwezvinhu zvakaita seisina kukwana zvinyorwa, kana pfungwa yekuti ivo vakabatikana zvakanyanya kuti vaite zvinhu ivo nakidzwa, ”anodaro Adler.

Ndosaka chiremba wezvepfungwa uye nyanzvi yehukama Danielle Forshee, PsyD, ichikurudzirawo kuti zvingoitika zvega neapo, sei uye kupi kwaunoita bonde.

"Bonde rekuzvarwa rinogadzira hutsva kuhukama hwakarongeka bonde," anotsanangura Forshee. “Tanga nekugara uchibata vanhukadzi nevanhurume nguva nenguva kuti ubatsire kugadzira mwenje wemoto. Uye pamwe bonde rinotevera rinotevera. ”

Pakutsvaga hutano hwako gare gare muhupenyu

Usarega chinyorwa chichikutadzisa kuongorora

"Vakadzi veCisgender vanoratidzira hunyanzvi hwepabonde kupfuura hupenyu hwavo," anodaro Powell. Muchokwadi, zvakawanikwa zvakaburitswa mu2016, muJenali Yemunhu uye Zvemagariro Psychology, zvinoratidza kuti vakadzi vese, kuzvidimbu zvakasiyana, vanomutswa nevamwe vakadzi mumavhidhiyo eerotic.

Ehezve, haazi mukadzi wese anomutswa anozove nechido chekuita pamhinduro idzodzo muhupenyu chaihwo.

Asi kana ukadaro, Powell anoti, “Iva wakasununguka kuongorora izvo zvishuwo zvebonde. Usanzwe kuda kutora uye kukumbira hutsva hwepabonde kana hunhu, kana izvozvo zvisinganzwe zvichikupa simba. "

Zvakakodzera kutaurwa ndezvazvino mishumo inoratidza kuti bisexuality iri kuwedzera pakati pevose, kusanganisira varume. Vatsvagiri vakagumisa kuti panogona kunge paine varume vakawanda vanoita bondexual kunze uko panguva iyoyo pakutanga zvaifungidzirwa, asi kuti havataure nezvazvo nekuda kwekutya kurambwa.

Jessica O'Reilly PhD, anotungamira @SexWithDrJess podcast, anowedzera kuti, "Vanhu vese vane kodzero yekuziva (kana kusaziva) uye kuyedza zvinoenderana nekunzwisisa kwavo pabonde."

Zvikomberedze nevanhu vanotsigira kuongorora kwako

"Zvepabonde zvinoyerera maererano nezvinokwezva, chishuwo, libido, mukadzi, kufarira, miganhu, fungidziro, nezvimwe. Zvinochinja pamusoro pehupenyu hwese uye zvinochinja zvichienderana nemamiriro ehupenyu. Chero zvauri kusangana nazvo, unokodzera kunzwa uine chivimbo mune zvaunoshuvira uye wotsigirwa neshamwari, mhuri, nevamwe vadikani, "anodaro O'Reilly.

Ndicho chikonzero nei achikurudzira kutsvaga mapoka-enharaunda-ekutsigira kana boka rako rehama kana mhuri risingazive kutsigira kwako kuongorora.

Zviwanikwa zvekutsvaga rutsigiro:

• Bisexual.org
• Kodzero Dzevanhu (HRC)
• Bisexual Resource Center
• LGBTQ Yevadzidzi Zviwanikwa & Rutsigiro
• Iyo Trevor Chirongwa
• Transgender American Veterans Sangano
• Veterans Kodzero Dzevanhu
• BIENESTAR
• National Resource Center pane LGBT Kukwegura
• SAGE Advocacy & Services ye LGBT Vakuru
• Matthew Shepard Nheyo
• PFLAG
• FARA

Gabrielle Kassel mutambo werugby, kutamba-madhaka, protein-smoothie-kusanganisa, kudya-kugadzirira, CrossFitting, New York-based Wellness munyori. Iye ave munhu wemangwanani, akaedza iro rese30 dambudziko, ndokudya, kunwa, kukwesha pamwe, kukwesha pamwe, uye kugezwa nemarasha, zvese muzita rezvenhau. Munguva yake yekusununguka, anogona kuwanikwa achiverenga mabhuku ekuzvibatsira, kubhenji-bhenji, kana kudzidzira hygge. Mutevere pa Instagram.