Tiri Kukundikana Kana Zvasvika Kunzwira Tsitsi, Asi Nei?

Zvemukati

• Sei vamwe vanhu kana mamwe mamiriro anoshungurudza achiwana tsitsi kupfuura vamwe?
• Nei tsitsi dzichikosha, asi dzichinetsa?
• Tingawedzera sei kunzwira vamwe tsitsi?
• Hedzino gumi nzira dzekuratidza tsitsi:

Kutarisana nechimwe chinhu sekuparara kana kurambana kunorwadza zvakanyanya, asi zvakanyanya kana tikasawana rutsigiro nekutarisirwa zvatinoda.

Makore mashanu apfuura murume waSarah akabuda ropa pamberi pemaziso ake apo vanachiremba makumi mana vakaedza kumununura. Vana vake vaive nemakore matatu ne5 panguva iyoyo, uye chiitiko cheupenyu ichi chakangoerekana chavhundutsa chakachinja nyika yavo.

Chakaita kuti zvinyanye kushata ndechekuti Sarah haana kuwana rutsigiro kubva kumhuri yemurume wake uye nerutsigiro rwakanyanya kushoma kubva kushamwari dzake.

Nepo vatezvara vake vasingakwanise kunzwisisa kushungurudzika kwaSarah uye nematambudziko, shamwari dzaSara dzakaratidzika kunge dzichichengeta chinhambwe nekutya.

Vakadzi vazhinji vaisiya chikafu pavheranda pake, vachimhanyira kumotokari yavo, uye voenda nekukurumidza nekukwanisika. Kazhinji chero munhu akauya mumba make uye akanyatsopedza nguva naye nevana vake vadiki. Ainyanya kuchema ari ega.

Georgia * akarasikirwa nebasa rake pamberi chaipo peKutenda kwe2019. Amai vasina murume vane vabereki vakafa, aive asina wekumunyaradza zvechokwadi.

Nepo shamwari dzake dzaive nemuromo vachimutsigira, hapana munhu akapa kumubatsira nekutarisira mwana, kumutumira basa rinotungamira, kana kupa chero rutsigiro rwemari.

Sezvo ari iye oga mupi uye muchengeti wemwanasikana wake ane makore mashanu okuberekwa, Georgia haina "kuva nemamiriro ekuumburuka." Kubudikidza nekusuwa, kushushikana kwezvemari, uye kutya, Georgia yabika chikafu, yakaendesa mwanasikana kuchikoro, nekumuchengeta - zvese ari ega.

Asi apo Beth Bridges akarasikirwa nemurume wake wemakore gumi nemanomwe kubva pakaerekana, kurwadza kukuru kwemoyo, shamwari dzakabva dzatambanudza ruoko kuratidza rutsigiro rwavo. Vaive vakangwarira uye vane hanya, vachimuunzira chikafu, vachienda naye kunze kunodya kana kutaura, vachiva nechokwadi chekuti aekisesaiza, uye kunyange kugadzirisa mafafita avo kana chero zvimwe zvinhu zvaida kugadziriswa.

Vakamutendera kuchema nekuchema pane vanhu - asi havana kumutendera kuti agare mumba make ega akasurukirwa nemanzwiro ake.

Chii chaive chikonzero nei Mabhiriji akagamuchira imwe tsitsi? Zvingave zvakadaro nekuti maBridges aive padanho rakasiyana kwazvo muhupenyu hwake kupfuura Sarah neGeorgia?

Mabhiridho 'denderedzwa enharaunda aive neshamwari uye vaaishanda navo vaive neruzivo rwehupenyu, uye vazhinji vakamugamuchira rubatsiro panguva yavo yekushungurudzika.

Nekudaro, Sarah naGeorgia, avo vakasangana nekushungurudzika vana vavo vachiri kukireshi, vaive nechaunga chemagariro chizere neshamwari diki, vazhinji vaive vasati vasangana neshungu.

Zvanga zvakangoomera here shamwari dzavo dzisina ruzivo kuti vanzwisise kutambura kwavo uye vazive kuti rudzii rwerutsigiro rwavaida? Kana kuti shamwari dzaSarah neGeorgia dzakatadza kupa nguva kushamwari dzavo nekuti vana vavo vadiki vaida nguva zhinji nekutarisirwa kwavo?

Kurambidzwa kwakavasiya vega kuri kupi?

"Trauma ichauya kwatiri tese," akadaro Dr. James S. Gordon, muvambi uye director director weThe Center for Mind-Body Medicine uye munyori webhuku "The Transformation: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma."

"Zvakakosha kunzwisisa kuti chikamu chehupenyu, hachina kusiyana nehupenyu," akadaro. "Haisi chinhu chinoshamisa. Haisi chimwe chinhu pathological. "Chinongova chikamu chinorwadza cheupenyu hwemunhu wese munguva pfupi."

Sei vamwe vanhu kana mamwe mamiriro anoshungurudza achiwana tsitsi kupfuura vamwe?

Sekureva kwenyanzvi, iko kusanganisa kushorwa, kushaya kunzwisisa, uye kutya.

Icho chinoshoresa chingave chiri nyore kunzwisisa.

Kune mamwe mamiriro ezvinhu - akadai semwana ane dambudziko rekupindwa muropa, kurambana, kana kutopererwa nebasa - uko vamwe vangatende kuti munhu wacho neimwe nzira akakonzera dambudziko ivo pachavo. Kana isu tichitenda kuti imhosva yavo, hatigone kupa rutsigiro rwedu.

"Kunyangwe kushorwa chiri chidimbu chekuti sei mumwe munhu asingatambire tsitsi, dzimwe nguva zvakare kushaikwa kwekuziva," akatsanangura Dr. Maggie Tipton, PsyD, mutariri wekiriniki webasa rekushungurudzika kuCaron Treatment Centres.

“Vanhu vanogona kusaziva kutaura nemumwe munhu ari kushungurudzika kana kupa rutsigiro. Zvinogona kutaridzika sekuti hapana tsitsi zhinji kana chokwadi chiripo ndechekuti havazive zvekuita, "akadaro. "Havana chinangwa chekuva vasina tsitsi, asi kusava nechokwadi uye kushomeka kwedzidzo kunotungamira mukuziva kushoma uye kunzwisisa, uye nekudaro vanhu havasvike pakutsigira munhu ari kushungurudzika."

Uye ipapo pane kutya.

Sechirikadzi yechidiki mune diki, posh yeguta reManhattan, Sarah anotenda kuti vamwe amai mune vekuchikoro chevana vavo vakachengeta chinhambwe nekuda kwezvaaimiririra.

"Zvinosuruvarisa, paingova nevakadzi vatatu chete vairatidza tsitsi," akarangarira Sarah. “Vakadzi vamwe vese vemunharaunda medu vakagara kure nekuti ini ndaive hope dzakaipisisa. "Ini ndaive chiyeuchidzo kuna vese amai vechidiki kuti varume vavo vanogona kudonha vafa chero nguva."

Uku kutya uye zviyeuchidzo zvezvaigona kuitika ndosaka vabereki vazhinji vachiwanzo kushayikwa kwetsitsi pavanosangana nekuparara kana kurasikirwa nemwana.

Kunyangwe chete dzakatenderedza gumi muzana yemimba inozivikanwa inozivikanwa inopera mukuparara, uye huwandu hwekufa kwevana hwaderera zvakanyanya kubva kuma1980, kuyeuchidzwa kuti izvi zvinogona kuitika kwavari zvinoita kuti vamwe vanyenye shamwari yavo iri kunetseka.

Vamwe vanogona kutya kuti nekuti vane pamuviri kana kuti mwana wavo mupenyu, kuratidza kutsigira kuchayeuchidza shamwari yavo nezvezvavakarasa.

Nei tsitsi dzichikosha, asi dzichinetsa?

"Tsitsi dzakakosha," akadaro Dr. Gordon. "Kugamuchira imwe mhando yetsitsi, imwe nzwisiso, kunyangwe vari vanhu varipo newe, ibhiriji rinodzokera kuchikamu chakakura chemuviri nerepfungwa."

"Chero ani anoshanda nevanhu vakashungurudzika anonzwisisa kukosha kwakakosha kweanonzi masayendisiti enzanga," akawedzera.

Sekureva kwaDr Tipton, avo vasingagamuchire tsitsi dzavanoda vanowanzosurukirwa. Kurwira panguva inoshungurudza kazhinji kunokonzeresa kuti vanhu vadzokere shure, uye kana vakasagamuchira rutsigiro, inosimbisa chishuwo chavo chekubvisa.

"Zvinoshungurudza munhu kana akasanzwisisa tsitsi," akatsanangura kudaro. “Vanozotanga kunzwa kusurukirwa zvakanyanya, kushushikana, uye kusurukirwa. Uye, vachatanga kujekesa pamifungo yavo yakaipa pamusoro pavo nemamiriro ezvinhu, mazhinji acho asiri echokwadi. "

Saka kana tichiziva shamwari kana nhengo yemhuri iri kunetseka, nei zvakaoma kuti uvatsigire?

Dr Gordon vakatsanangura kuti nepo vamwe vanhu vachidavirira nekunzwira tsitsi, vamwe vanopindura nekuzvimisikidza nekuti manzwiro avo anovakunda, zvichivasiya vasingakwanise kupindura nekubatsira munhu ari kushaiwa.

Tingawedzera sei kunzwira vamwe tsitsi?

"Zvakakosha kunzwisisa maitiro atinoita kune vamwe vanhu," Dr. Gordon vakayambira. “Sezvatinoteerera kune mumwe munhu, isu tinofanirwa kutanga taziva zviri kuitika kwatiri. Tinofanira kuona manzwiro ainounza matiri uye nekuziva mhinduro yedu pachedu. Ipapo, tinofanira kuzorora toenda kumunhu akaora mwoyo. ”

“Kana iwe ukatarisa pavari uye nemhando yedambudziko ravo, uchaona kuti ungabatsira sei. Kazhinji, kungova nemumwe munhu kunogona kukwana, ”akadaro.

Hedzino gumi nzira dzekuratidza tsitsi:

1. Bvuma iwe usati wambove neruzivo kare uye haugone kufungidzira kuti zvinofanirwa kunge zvakaita sei kwavari. Vabvunze zvavanoda izvozvi, wozviita.
2. Kana iwe wakasangana nezvakaitika zvakafanana, yeuka kuchengeta tarisiro pamunhu uyu uye nezvaanoda. Iti chimwe chakadai: "Ndine urombo kuti iwe unofanirwa kupfuura neizvi. Isu takambozvigonawo, uye kana iwe uchida kutaura nezvazvo pane imwe nguva, ndingafarire. Asi, chii chaunoda izvozvi? ”
3. Usavaudze kuti vakufonere kana vachida chero chinhu. Izvo zvinonetsa uye kusagadzikana kune munhu akashungurudzika. Pane kudaro, vaudze zvaunoda kuita uye bvunza kuti nderipi zuva rakanyanya kunaka.
4. Govera kutarisa vana vavo, kutakura vana vavo kuenda kana kubva kuchiitiko, kuenda kunotenga, nezvimwe.
5. Ivapo uye uite zvakajairika zvinhu sekufamba pamwe chete kana kuona firimu.
6. Relax uye tune kune zviri kuitika. Pindura, bvunza mibvunzo, uye bvuma kushamisa kana kusuwa kwemamiriro avo.
7. Vakoke kuti vabatane newe kana mhuri yako pakubuda kwevhiki kuitira kuti vasasurukirwe.
8. Isa chiyeuchidzo mukarenda yako kufonera kana kutumira mameseji munhu vhiki nevhiki.
9. Dzivisa muyedzo wekuyedza kuigadzirisa. Ivapo kwavari sezvavari.
10. Kana iwe uchitenda kuti vanoda kurairwa kana boka rekutsigira, vabatsire kuti vawane imwe kwavanogona kuwana zvitsva pamusoro pavo, dzidza maitiro ekuzvichengeta, uye vafambire mberi.

Mazita akachinjwa kuchengetedza zvakavanzika.

Gia Miller mutori wenhau anoshanda akazvimirira, munyori, uye munyori wenhau uyo ​​anonyanya kufukidza hutano, hutano hwepfungwa, uye kuva mubereki. Anotarisira kuti basa rake rinokurudzira hurukuro dzine musoro uye rinobatsira vamwe kuti vanzwisise zvirinani hutano nehutano hwepfungwa. Iwe unogona kutarisa kusarudzwa kwebasa rake pano.