Ndapedza Kunyarara Nezve Kuzviuraya

Zvemukati

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Kufanana nevazhinji venyu, ndakakatyamadzwa uye ndakarwadziwa kuziva nezverufu rwaChester Bennington, kunyanya mushure mekungorasikirwa naChris Cornell mwedzi yakati yapfuura. Linkin Park yaiva chikamu chine simba chekuyaruka kwangu. Ndinoyeuka ndichitenga Hybrid Theory album mumakore angu ekutanga echikoro chesekondari uye ndichiiteerera kakawanda, zvose neshamwari uye neni. Yakanga iri ruzha rutsva, uye yakanga iri mbishi. Waikwanisa kunzwa kuda uye kurwadziwa mumashoko aChester, uye akabatsira vazhinji vedu kubata nekugumbuka kwedu kwevechiri kuyaruka. Isu takada kuti akatigadzirira mimhanzi iyi, asi hatina kumbomira tichifunga nezve izvo zvaainyatsotarisana nazvo panguva yekuzviita.

Pandaikura, mwana wangu achiri kuyaruka angst akazova mukuru angst: Ini ndiri mumwe wevarombo vanhu vane mamirioni 43.8 muAmerica vanotambura nenyaya dzehutano hwepfungwa. Ndinonetseka neOCD (kutarisa paO), kuora mwoyo, kufunganya, uye pfungwa dzokuda kuzviuraya. Ndakadhakwa panguva yemarwadzo. Ndakazvicheka-zvese kuti ndive chivevedza marwadzo angu epfungwa uye kuve nechokwadi chekuti ndinogona kunzwa chero chinhu zvachose-uye ndichiri kuona iwo mavanga zuva rega rega.

Yangu yakaderera poindi yakaitika munaKurume wa2016, pandakazvitarisa muchipatara kuzviuraya. Ndakarara mumubhedha muchipatara murima, ndichiona vanamukoti vachipeta makabati uye vachichengetedza chiridzwa chose chaigona kushandiswa sechombo, ndakangotanga kuchema. Zvakandinetsa kuti ndasvika sei apa, zvainge zvaita sei kudai. Ndainge ndarovera moyo padombo. Neraki, iyo yaive yangu yekumuka-yekuchinja hupenyu hwangu. Ini ndakatanga kunyora bhurogu nezverwendo rwangu, uye handina kukwanisa kutenda rutsigiro rwandakabudamo. Vanhu vakatanga kusvika nenyaya dzavo, uye ndakaona kuti kune vazhinji vedu chinyararire kubata neizvi kupfuura zvandaifunga pakutanga. Ndakarega kunzwa kusurukirwa zvakadaro.

Tsika yedu kazhinji inofuratira nyaya dzehutano hwepfungwa (isu tichiri kutaura nezvekuzviuraya se "kufa" kudzivirira kukurukura chokwadi chakatooma), asi ini ndapedza kufuratira nyaya yekuzviuraya. Handinyari kutaura nezvematambudziko angu, uye hapana mumwe munhu ane chirwere chepfungwa anofanira kunyarawo. Pandakatanga blog yangu, ndakanzwa kusimbaradzwa nekuziva kuti ndaigona kubatsira vanhu nechimwe chinhu chakavarova.

Hupenyu hwangu hwakaita zana nemakumi masere pandakatanga kubvuma kuti ndinokodzera kuve pasi rino. Ndakatanga kuenda kunorapwa, kutora mishonga nemavhitamini, kuita yoga, kufungisisa, kudya zvine hutano, kuzvipira, uye kunyatsosvika kune vanhu pandakanzwa ndichipinda mugomba rakasviba zvakare. Iyo yekupedzisira ingangove yakaomesesa tsika kuita, asi ndeimwe yeakanyanya kukosha. Hatina kuitirwa kuti tive toga munyika ino.

Nziyo dzerwiyo dzine nzira yekutirangaridza nezvazvo. Vanogona kutsanangura zvatiri kunzwa kana kufunga, uye kuva nzira yekurapa panguva dzakaoma. Hapana mubvunzo kuti Chester akabatsira vanhu vasingaverengeke kuti vapinde munguva dzakaoma muhupenyu hwavo kuburikidza nemumhanzi wake uye zvakaita kuti vanzwe kushoma vari vega muzvinyorwa zvavo. Semufeni, ndainzwa kunge ndainetseka ne iye, uye zvinondishungurudza zvakadzama kuti handife ndakakwanisa kupemberera naye zvakare-pemberera kutsvaga mwenje murima, farira kuwana nyaradzo mushure mekurwa. Ndofunga ndirwo rwiyo rwedu tonyora.

Tiri kurwara here? Ehe. Takakuvadzwa zvachose here? Kwete. Hatina rubatsiro here? Kwete. Sezvinongoita munhu ane moyo kana chirwere cheshuga achida (uye akakodzera) kurapwa, ndizvo zvatinoitawo. Dambudziko nderekuti, avo vasina chirwere chepfungwa kana kunzwira urombo vanoona zvisingaiti kutaura nezvazvo. Isu tinotarisirwa kuzvikwevera pamwe chete uye kubuda mazviri, nekuti munhu wese anoora mwoyo dzimwe nguva, handiti? Vanoita senge hapana chinhu chinonakidza show paNetflix kana kufamba mupaki chisingakwanise kugadzirisa, uye hausi mugumo wenyika! Asi dzimwe nguva zvinoita kunzwa sekuguma kwenyika. Ndosaka zvichindirwadza kunzwa vanhu vachisheedza Chester "kuzvida" kana "gwara" pane zvaakaita. Haasi chimwe chezvinhu izvozvo; munhu akarasikirwa nekuzvidzora uye akashaya rubatsiro rwaaida kuti ararame.

Ini handisi nyanzvi yehutano hwepfungwa, asi semumwe munhu anga aripo, ndinongogona kutaura kuti rutsigiro nenharaunda zvakakosha kana tichida kuona hutano hwepfungwa huchiita nani. Kana iwe uchifunga kuti mumwe munhu waunoziva ari kutambura (heano mamwe njodzi anofanirwa kutarisa kunze), ndapota, ndapota ndapota ivai nehurukuro "dzisina kugadzikana". Handizivi kuti ndingadai ndiri kupi pasina amai vangu, vaingogara vachidongorera kuti vaone kuti ndiri sei. Vanopfuura hafu yevakuru vanorwara nepfungwa munyika muno havawani rubatsiro rwavanoda. Yasvika nguva yekuti tichinje iyo statistics.

Kana iwe uchirwara nepfungwa dzekuzviuraya iwe, ziva kuti uri kwete munhu akaipa kana kuti asina kukodzera kuti anzwe saizvozvo. Uye iwe hausi wega. Zvakaoma zvakaoma kufamba muhupenyu uine chirwere chepfungwa, uye chokwadi chekuti iwe uchiri pano chiratidzo chesimba rako. Kana uchinzwa sekunge unogona kushandisa rumwe rubatsiro kana mumwe munhu kutaura naye kwenguva diki, unogona kufonera 1-800-273-8255, kutumira mameseji 741741, kana kutaura online pa suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

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