Iyo Yakakwira Mari Yekusabereka: Vakadzi Vari Kuita Njodzi Kubhuroka kweMucheche

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Pazera remakore makumi matatu, Ali Barton haafaniri kunge ane dambudziko rekubata pamuviri uye kubereka mwana ane utano. Asi dzimwe nguva zvisikwa hazvishande pamwe uye zvinhu zvinokanganisa kubereka kwaAli mune ino kesi. Makore mashanu nevana vaviri gare gare, zvinhu zvakafamba nenzira inofadza zvikuru inobvira. Asi paive nedzimwe nyaya hombe munzira, kusanganisira homwe yemari-inodarika zviuru makumi mashanu zvemadhora. Vana vake vaviri vakanaka vanokodzera mari yega yega, anodaro, asi zvinofanirwa here kudhura zvakanyanya kungova nemwana? Uye nei kurapa kwekubereka kuchidhura?

Ali nemurume wake vakaroora kutanga kwegore ra2012 uye nekuti ane makore gumi nerimwe ekuberekwa vakasarudza kutanga mhuri yavo ipapo. Nekuda kwechirwere che autoimmune chaida kurapwa kwemazuva ese steroid, akange asina nguva yekutevera. Asi aive mudiki uye aine hutano saka aifunga kuti zvinhu zvaizofamba. Akaenda pamishonga yake uye akaedza marapirwo akati wandei ehormonal kuti atange kumwedzi. Asi hapana chakashanda. Pakupera kwegore anga achiona chiremba wekubereka endocrinologist uyo akakurudzira vaviri ava kushandisa marapirwo ekubereka.

Vaviri vacho vakasarudza kutanga vaedza IUI (intrauterine insemination), muitiro apo urume hwomurume hunobairwa zvakananga muchibereko chomukadzi kupfurikidza nekatheta. IUI inzira isingadhuri, inosvika $ 900 isina inishuwarenzi. Asi mazai aAli akagadzirwa zvakawandisa mazai, izvo zvinowedzera mukana wekutora nhumbu dzakawanda uye zvinogona kukonzeresa hutano kune vese amai nevacheche. Nekudaro, chiremba wake akataura kuti achinjira kuIVF (in vitro fertilization), iyo inobvumidza kudzora kwakawanda pamusoro penjodzi yekubata nhumbu kwakawanda. Mune IVF, mazai emukadzi anokurudzirwa mukugadzira kuita mazai mazhinji ayo anobva akohwewa osanganiswa nembeu mundiro yepetri. Imwe kana yakawanda mazai akaomeswa anobva aiswa muchibereko chemukadzi. Iyo ine yakakwira yekubudirira mwero-gumi kusvika makumi mana muzana zvichienderana nezera raamai-asi rinouya nemutengo wepamusoro zvakanyanya, uchivhareji $ 12,500, kuwedzera kune $ 3,000 kana zvakadaro mumishonga. .

Ali akapfuura ina kutenderera kweIVF mukati megore, asi yaive njodzi yakabhadhara.

“Yakanga iri nguva yerima, kutenderera kwega kwega kwaiwedzera kuipa,” anodaro. "Raundi rekupedzisira takangowana zai rimwe rinoshanda, mikana yacho yaive mishoma, asi nenzira inoshamisa yakashanda ndikabata pamuviri."

Mukuchinja kunotyisa kwezviitiko, pakati nepakati pekuzvitakura, Ali akapinda mukuora kwemoyo kwakanyanya. Mwanakomana wake akazvarwa nguva isati yakwana uye aida kumuisira moyo mushure, asi vese vakapona nemufaro.

Asi apo amai nemucheche pavaive vachiita zvakanaka, mabhiri akaramba achiwedzera. Neraki revaBarton, vanogara muMassachusetts uyo une mutemo unoraira kuti kurapwa kwekushaya mbereko kufukidzwe neinishuwarenzi ehutano. (Nyika 15 chete dzine mitemo yakafanana pamabhuku.) Kunyange zvakadaro, kunyange neinishuwarenzi youtano, zvinhu zvaidhura.

Uye vakabva vafunga kuti vaida kuita mwana wechipiri. Nekuda kwematambudziko ehutano hwaAli, vanachiremba vakakurudzira kuti asabata pamuviri futi. Saka vanaBarton vakasarudza kushandisa mumwe munhu kutakura mwana wavo. Pakubereka, maembryos anogadzirwa achishandisa maitiro akafanana neaIVF. Asi pachinzvimbo chekuisa ivo mudumbu raamai, vanoisirwa mudumbu remumwe mukadzi. Uye mitengo yacho inogona kuve yekuongorora nyeredzi.

Masangano evanozvimiririra anogona kubhadharisa $ 40K kusvika $ 50K kungoenzanisa vabereki neababa. Mushure meizvozvo, vabereki vanofanira kubhadhara mubhadharo wemubhadharo- $ 25K kusvika $ 50K zvinoenderana neruzivo nenzvimbo. Uye zvakare, ivo vanofanirwa kutenga gore rehupenyu neinishuwarenzi yezvokurapa yeiyo surrogate ($ 4K), vabhadharira iyo IVF kuendesa kune mumwe mukadzi pamwe zvingangoita zvinopfuura kutenderera kumwe kunodiwa ($ 7K kusvika $ 9K pamhepo), kubhadhara yemishonga kune vese vanopa amai uye vanoberekera mumwe mukadzi ($ 600 kusvika $ 3K, zvinoenderana neinishuwarenzi), kuhaya magweta evabereki vese vekubereka uye wekuzvitorera (anenge madhora gumi), uye kufukidza zvidiki zvidiki zveiye anotorerwa mukadzi semubhadharo wekupfeka uye mari yekupaka yekushanya kwachiremba. Uye zvechokwadi, izvo hazvisi kana kuverenga mari inodiwa kutenga zvakajairwa zvinhu sehombodo, chigaro chemotokari, uye zvipfeko kana mwana achinge asvika.

Ali akaita rombo rakanaka pakuti akakwanisa kuwana mutevedzeri wake, Jessica Silva, kuburikidza neboka repaFacebook uye kusvetuka mari yeagency. Asi ivo vachiri kufanira kubhadhara yakasara kubva muhomwe. VaBarton vakachenesa mari yavo yavakachengeta uye nhengo dzemhuri dzine rupo dzakapa zvimwe zvese.

Jessica akazvara mwana Jessie kutanga kwegore rino uye akakosha kuzvipira kwese, Ali anodaro. (Hongu, vanaBarton vakatumidza mwanasikana wavo zita remukadzi akazvimiririra uyo akamutakura, vachiti vanomuda semhuri.) Zvakadaro, kunyangwe vakawana mufaro wavo-wese, hazvisi nyore.

"Ndakagara ndichingobata mari asi chiitiko ichi chakandidzidzisa kukosha kwekushandisa mari pazvinhu zvakakosha, semhuri yedu," anodaro. "Hatirarame mararamiro eumbozha. Hatitore mazororo emhando yepamusoro kana kutenga zvipfeko zvinodhura; tinofara nezvinhu zviri nyore."

VaBartons zvirokwazvo havazi ivo chete vari kutambura nemutengo wakakwira wekurapa kushaya mbereko. Vanenge gumi muzana yevakadzi vanorwira kushaya mbereko, sekureva kweU.S.Office paWomen Health. Uye iyo nhamba inotarisirwa kukwira sezvo avhareji zera ramamai richikwira. Kunyange zera raAli rakanga risiri iro chikonzero chekushaya mbereko, ndizvo ndizvo chikonzero chiri kukura muU.S. Muna 2015, makumi maviri muzana evacheche vakaberekerwa vakadzi vanopfuura makore makumi matatu nemashanu, zera iro hunhu hwezai hwakanyanya kuderera uye kudiwa kwekurapa kwekubereka kunowedzera.

Vakadzi vazhinji havanzwisise izvi, nekutenda muchidimbu kune vedu vane mukurumbira tsika inoita kuti vacheche-mu-hupenyu vacheche vataridzike nyore kana izvo zvinoratidza kurapwa kwekubereka uye kuzvitakura sekunakidzwa kwechokwadi kuratidza mitsara yemarongero (hello Kim naKyan) kwete seyemari uye zviitiko zvakaoma zvepamoyo zvavari, anodaro Sherry Ross, MD, ob-gyn kuProvidence Saint John's Health Center muSanta Monica, CA, uye munyori we Iye-ology.

"Nekuda kwesocial media, tinoona vane makore makumi mana nematanhatu vachizvara mapatya uye zvinorasika. Iwoyo pamwe haasi mazai avo. Une hwindi wembereko unopera makore makumi mana, mushure mezvo, kupfupfudza kwapera. 50 muzana,” anotsanangura kudaro.

"Rwave rudzi rwechirevo kumukadzi kuti ataure kuti anoda kuva nemhuri pamberi pebasa rake. Tinokurudzirwa kuve neiyi 'kana ichifanirwa kuve ichangoitika', kana chokwadi chiri icho inogona kuva basa rakawanda, kuzvipira, uye mari kuti uve nemwana. Unofanira kunyatsosarudza kana uchida vana. Uye kana ukadaro, unenge uri nani kuti uzvironge, "anodaro. "Tinodzidzisa vanhukadzi zvakawandisa nezve marongero ekudzivirira kubata pamuviri, asi tobva tavadzidzisa kanhu kese nezve marongero acho nokuti imwe nekuti hatidi kuvagumbura? Haisi zvematongerwo enyika, isayenzi. "

Anowedzera kuti vanachiremba vanofanira kuva pamberi nevarwere vavo pamusoro pezvinhu zvese zvekuronga mhuri, kusanganisira mwero webudiriro uye mitengo yepasirese pasarudzo senge kubhengi rezai, kurapwa kwekubereka, urume kana vanopa mazai, uye kuberekera mwana.

Asi chikamu chakaomesesa kuna Ali mune zvemari yakanga isiri iyo mari yacho pachayo, yaive mhirizhonga. "Zvaive zvakaoma chaizvo kunyora cheki mwedzi wega wega [kuna Silva] kune chimwe chinhu chandainzwa seni ndingadai ndakakwanisa kuzviita ini," anodaro. "Zvinoshungurudza kana muviri wako usingakwanise kuita zvaunofanirwa kuita."

Ali, anga ari murapi asati aita vana, anoti anonzwa sekunge ane PTSD kubva mukuita kwembereko, achiwedzera kuti rimwe zuva anozoda kuvhura muitiro wakanangana nekubatsira vanhu kuburikidza nekubuda nekubuda kwese kuisirwa uye kubereka. kurapwa.

Kuti udzidze zvakawanda nezvenyaya yaAli, tarisa bhuku rake Against Doctor's Orders.

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