Rudo Kubhomba: 10 Zviratidzo zveKupfuura-iyo-Pamusoro Rudo

Zvemukati

• Vanokupa zvipo zvakawanda
• Havagoni kumira kukurumbidza iwe
• Vanokubhomba nekufona uye zvinyorwa
• Vanoda kutarisisa kwako
• Vanoedza kukugutsisa kuti uri soulmates
• Vanoda kuzvipira uye vanozvida izvozvi
• Vanogumbuka paunoisa miganhu
• Vanonyanya kudiwa
• Unokurirwa ngekusimba kwavo
• Unonzwa kusagadzikana
• Chinokosha

Paunotanga kusangana nemumwe munhu, kutsvairwa patsoka dzako kunogona kunzwa kunakidza uye kunakidza. Kuva nemumwe munhu anokugezera nerudo uye kuyemura kunonyanya kufadza kana iwe uri mumatanho ekutanga ehukama hutsva.

Rudo kubhomba, zvisinei, imwe nyaya. Zvinoitika kana mumwe munhu akakukurira nemazwi erudo, zviito, uye hunhu senge nzira yekunyengera.

"Inowanzoshandiswa kukunda kuvimba kwako uye rudo kuitira kuti vagone kuzadzisa chinangwa chavo," anotsanangura Shirin Peykar, MA, murume ane rezinesi rekuroora uye murapi wemhuri.

Hezvino tarisiro yezvimwe zveakanyanya rudo mabhomba zviratidzo. Kana iwe uchiziva zvimwe zveizvi, hazvireve hazvo kuti mumwe wako ane chepfu, asi teerera kune yako intuition kana munhu ari kuedza kukukwezva zvinoita kunge akanyanyisa kuva chokwadi.

Vanokupa zvipo zvakawanda

Rudo kubhomba kunowanzo sanganisira pamusoro-iyo-kwepamusoro kuita, sekutumira iwe zvipo zvisina kukodzera kubasa rako (akawanda emaruva panzvimbo yeimwe, semuenzaniso) kana kutenga anodhura matikiti endege kuzororo, uye kwete kutora "kwete" mhinduro.

Zvese izvi zvinoita kunge zvisina kukuvadza zvakakwana, asi poindi ndeyekukumanikidza iwe kufunga kuti une chikwereti kwavari chimwe chinhu.

"Kazhinji kazhinji, kubhomba kworudo kunoitwa nanyanduri nechinangwa chekupinda nekuwana simba pamusoro pemunhu ari kubhombwa rudo," anodaro chipangamazano wezvehunyanzvi Tabitha Westbrook, LMFT.

Havagoni kumira kukurumbidza iwe

Isu tese tinoshuva kuyemurwa, asi kurumbidzwa nguva dzose kunogona kuita kuti musoro wako utenderere. Kana mumwe munhu achiratidza rudo rwavo rusingafi mushure menguva pfupi chete yenguva, ingangova mureza mutsvuku uyo ​​manzwiro avo asiri echokwadi.

Zvimwe zvakajairika, pamusoro-iyo-pamusoro mitsara yavanogona kushandisa inosanganisira:

• "Ndinoda zvese nezvako."
• "Handisati ndambosangana nemunhu akakwana sewe."
• "Ndiwe wega munhu wandinoda kumbotandara naye."

Pavo vega, aya mitsara haina hazvo kukuvadza, asi zvakakosha kuti uatarise mune yakakura mamiriro ehunhu hwese hweumwe munhu.

Vanokubhomba nekufona uye zvinyorwa

Vanokufonera, kutumira mameseji, uye kukutumira meseji pane vezvenhau 24/7. Kunyangwe kugara uchikurukurirana zvakajairika kana uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchinge uchitsvaga

Cherekedza kana vakatanga kutumira mameseji iwe mangwanani-ngwanani uye awa rega paawa.

Vanoda kutarisisa kwako

Kana pfungwa yako isiri pane mumwe munhu, vanogona kutsamwa. Izvi zvinogona kutaridza sekutsamwa kana iwe uri parunhare neshamwari kana kuramba kuenda mushure mekunge wati unofanirwa kunge uri kubasa mangwanani zuva rinotevera.

"Rudo rwechokwadi harudi nguva yako yese uye simba rinotarisana navo chete," Westbrook anosimbisa. "Vanoremekedza zvimwe zvipikirwa, mazano, uye miganhu."

Vanoedza kukugutsisa kuti uri soulmates

Kukuudza iwe vakarota kuti Mwari akavaudza kuti imi vaviri munofanira kuroora inzira yekushandisa. Kana zvavanotaura zvinonzwika kunze kwefirimu, chenjera, Westbrook manotsi. "Hollywood yakanakira kuvaraidzwa, asi rudo rwechokwadi uye hukama hazvitaridzike semamuvhi."

Zvimwe zvinhu zvavanogona kutaura:

• "Takazvarwa kuva pamwe chete."
• "Zvakaitika kuti tasangana."
• "Unondinzwisisa kupfuura chero ani zvake."
• "Tiri vemweya."

Vanoda kuzvipira uye vanozvida izvozvi

Bhomba rerudo rinogona kukumanikidza kupinda mukumhanyisa zvinhu uye kuronga zvakakura zveramangwana. Vachataura zvinhu zvakaita sekuroora kana kufambidzana kana muchinge muchingozivana kwenguva pfupi.

Chinhu chekuchengetedza mupfungwa, sekureva kwaWestbrook, ndechekuti hukama chaihwo hunotora nguva kukudziridza. “Hazvigone kuti munhu wacho anogona kukuda kupfuura chero chinhu chipi zvacho chiri munyika mumasvondo maviri. Kana mazuva maviri. Kana maawa maviri. Kana kunyangwe mwedzi miviri, ”anotsanangura.

Vanogumbuka paunoisa miganhu

Paunoyedza kuvaudza kuti vanonoke, ivo vacharamba vachiedza kukumanikidza kuti uwane zvavanoda. Mumwe munhu ane hanya zviri pamutemo, kune rumwe rutivi, acharemekedza zvido zvako uye odzokera shure.

"Vanobhomba verudo vanotsamwiswa pamusoro pemiganhu chero ipi zvayo maererano nekuwana iwe kana iwe uchibvuma kuratidzwa kwavo kwe'rudo, 'anodaro Westbrook. "Zvakafanana netsunami yerudo uye vanotarisira kuti iwe ugamuchire zvese."

Vanonyanya kudiwa

Hazvina mhosva kuti inguvai yakawanda sei uye kuwana kwaunovapa, hazviite senge zvakakwana. Asi zvibvunze kuti: Uri kubhaiza shamwari here nekuti havakwanise kumira kuti vave vega? Kana iwe unonzwa uchisungirwa kupindura yega yega zvinyorwa nekuti ivo vakakupa iyo inodhura iPhone?

Mumwe munhu ane chepfu anozoita kuti unzwe uine chikwereti kwavari kuitira kuti vagone kuvimba newe siku nesikati.

Unokurirwa ngekusimba kwavo

Ivo havambofa vakasiya runako uye vanoita kunge vari kumhanya pane ese masirinda paunenge uinaye. Iwe hauzomboziva zvaunotarisira kubva kune imwe nguva kuenda pane inotevera uye unonzwa uchimanikidzwa kuvaona kutenderera wachi.

Rudo rwepamutemo rune zvakwikwidza, asi rune ruremekedzo uye harukunde, anodaro Westbrook. "Inoshivirira, ine mutsa uye munyoro."

Unonzwa kusagadzikana

Kuva rudo bhomba kunogona kunzwa kunwisa pakutanga, asi iwe unogona zvakare kunzwa kusagadzikana, kumirira imwe shangu kudonha.

Teerera kune aya manzwiro ekuzvidya mwoyo, anodaro Westbrook. "Zvakakosha kuenderana neyako intuition, kuti iwe ugogona kuziviswa pane kutakurwa nerudo kubhomba nzira."

Chinokosha

Kana iwe uri mumatanho ekutanga ehukama uye zvese zvinonzwa sekunge zviri kuitika nekukurumidza, tarisa ura hwako. Rangarira: Kudanana kunofanira kuchengetwa, kwete kumhanyiswa.

Kana iwe uchinetseka kuti mumwe wako ayambuka achienda kunzvimbo inonyengera, edza kusvika kune shamwari yaunovimba, nhengo yemhuri, kana chiremba wepfungwa anogona kukubatsira kuongorora maitiro avo.

Iwe unogona zvakare kutarisa pazasi zviwanikwa zverimwe gwara pamatanho anotevera:

• Rudo Ruremekedzo ndewe nyika yekufambidzana nekushungurudzwa runhare runopa rutsigiro uye runopa ruzivo nezve husina hutano hukama nehunhu.
• Rumwe Rudo hwaro hunobatsira kumisa kuhukama hwehukama.

Cindy Lamothe mutori wenhau anoshanda akazvimirira anogara kuGuatemala. Anonyora kazhinji nezve mapindano pakati pehutano, hutano, uye sainzi yekuzvibata kwevanhu. Akanyorerwa The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, uye zvimwe zvakawanda. Mutsvage pa cindylamothe.com.