Ndokumbirawo Mira Kushandisa Kurwara Kwangu Kwepfungwa Kuzadzisa Fungidziro Yako

Zvemukati

• Yakawanda yakatsvaga ngano: 'Borderline yakaipa'
• Kudanana ne 'Manic Pixie Kurota Musikana'
• Kunze kwemamuvhi
• Iyo chaiyo-yehupenyu mhedzisiro yenyaya idzi
• Kunze kwechinyadzo

Ini ndawana zvebonde ngano uye fetish dzakakomberedza vanhu vane muganho hunhu kusagadzikana hwazara - uye zvinokuvadza.

Hutano uye hutano zvinobata mumwe nemumwe wedu zvakasiyana. Iyi inyaya yemunhu mumwe.

Sezvo ini ndaive nemakore gumi nemana ekuberekwa, mazwi ekuti "Monitor for a personality or mood disorder" akange akanyorwa nemavara akatsvuka mumachati angu ekurapa.

Nhasi izuva, Ndakafunga pazuva rangu rekuzvarwa gumi nemasere. Semunhu mukuru zviri pamutemo, ndaizopedzisira ndawana hutano hwangu hwepfungwa mushure memakore ekutumirwa kubva kuchimwe chirongwa chehutano hwepfungwa kuenda kune chinotevera.

Muhofisi yangu yekurapa, akatsanangura, "Kyli, une hutano hwepfungwa hunonzi borderline hunhu hunhu."

Naively tariro, ndakanzwa kurerukirwa kuti ini pakupedzisira aive nemazwi ekutsanangura mafungire ekuchinja, maitiro ekuzvikuvadza, bulimia, uye manzwiro akasimba andaisangana nawo.

Asi kutaura kwekutonga pachiso chake kwakanditungamira kuti nditende kuti simba rangu idzva rekugoneswa raizogara kwenguva pfupi.

Yakawanda yakatsvaga ngano: 'Borderline yakaipa'

Sangano reNational Alliance reMental Illness (NAMI) rinofungidzira pakati pe1.6 ne5,9 muzana yevakuru veAmerica vane muganho wehunhu hunhu (BPD). Vanocherekedza makumi manomwe neshanu muzana evanhu vanogamuchira kuongororwa kweBPD vakadzi. Kutsvagurudza kunoratidzira zvipenyu uye zvemagariro zvevanhu zvinogona kuve chikonzero cheiyi mukaha.

Kuti ugamuchire kuongororwa kweBPD, unofanirwa kusangana nezvinodiwa zvishanu kubva zvipfumbamwe zvakatarwa muchirongwa chitsva cheDiagnostic uye Statistical Manual yeMental Disorders (DSM-5). Vari:

• pfungwa isina kugadzikana yekuzvimirira
• kutya kutya kusiiwa
• nyaya dzekuchengetedza hukama hwehukama
• kuzviuraya kana kuzvikuvadza maitiro
• kusagadzikana kwemood
• kunzwa kwekusaziva
• kupatsanurwa
• kuputika kwehasha
• kusagadzikana

Pana 18, ndakasangana nematanho ese.

Sezvo ini ndaitarisa kuburikidza nemawebhusaiti aitsanangura kurwara kwangu kwepfungwa, tariro yangu yeramangwana rangu yakakurumidza kuve munyadzi. Ndichikura ndakagadzwa nevamwe vechidiki vachirarama nehurwere hwepfungwa, ini handina kuratidzwa kazhinji kunyara kwehutano hwepfungwa.

Asi ini ndaisafanirwa kutsvagurudza makona erima einternet kuti ndiwane izvo vanhu vazhinji vaifunga nezvevakadzi vane BPD.

"Borderline yakaipa," verenga kutsvaga kwekutanga kwakazara paGoogle.

Mabhuku ekuzvibatsira evanhu vane BPD aive nemazita akadai se "Mhando Shanu dzeVanhu Vanogona Kuparadza Hupenyu Hwako." Ndakanga ndiri munhu akaipa here?

Ndakadzidza nekukurumidza kuviga kuongororwa kwangu, kunyangwe kushamwari dzepedyo uye mhuri. BPD ndainzwa kunge tsamba tsvuku, uye ndaida kuti igare iri kure nehupenyu hwangu sezvandaigona.

Kudanana ne 'Manic Pixie Kurota Musikana'

Ndichishuva rusununguko rwandaishaya zvakanyanya mukati memakore angu ekuyaruka, ndakasiya nzvimbo yangu yekurapa mwedzi mushure megore rangu rekuzvarwa gumi nemasere. Ndakachengeta kuongororwa kwangu kwakavanzika, kudzamara ndasangana nemukomana wangu wekutanga akakomba mwedzi yakati gare gare.

Aizvifunga sechibhinya. Pandakamuudza kuti ndaive neBPD, kumeso kwake kwakapenya nemufaro. Takakura apo mafirimu akaita se "The Virgin Suicides" uye "Garden State," uko vanonyanya kutaurwa vakafemerwa neshanduro-yemhando imwechete yevakadzi vanorwara nepfungwa, vaive pamukurumbira wavo.

Nekuda kweiyi Manic Pixie Kurota Musikana trope, ndinotenda paive nekumwe kumukwezva pakuva nemusikana anorwara nepfungwa.

Zvainzwa zvisingaite kufamba nenzira dzisiri dzechokwadi dzandainzwa kuti ndaifanira kurarama kusvika semukadzi wechidiki - mukadzi anorwara nepfungwa, kubhutsu. Nekudaro, ndakanzwa kushushikana kuti ndigadzirise maitiro aakashandisa BPD yangu.

Ndaida kuti chirwere changu chepfungwa chigamuchirwe. Ndaida kugamuchirwa.

Sezvo hukama hwedu hwakafambira mberi, akatanga kufarira zvimwe zvinhu zvechirwere changu. Ini ndaive musikana aimbove nenjodzi, kusagadzikana, kuita zvepabonde, uye kunzwira tsitsi chikanganiso.

Asi, nguva iyo zviratidzo zvangu zvachinja kubva pa "quirky" kuenda ku "kupenga" kubva pamaonero ake - kushanduka kwemamiriro, kuchema kusingadzoreke, kucheka - ndakave ndakaraswa.

Ichokwadi chekutambudzika kwehutano hwepfungwa chakasiya nzvimbo yeManic Pixie Kurota Musikana fungidziro kuti ibudirire, saka takazoparadzana nguva pfupi yapfuura.

Kunze kwemamuvhi

Kunyangwe sekunzwa kwandinoita kuti nzanga yedu inonamatira mungano yekuti vakadzi vane muganho havadiwe uye vane chepfu muhukama, vakadzi vane BPD uye zvimwe zvirwere zvepfungwa vanopokanawo.

Dr. Tory Eisenlohr-Moul, mutevedzeri purofesa wezvepfungwa paUniversity yeIllinois kuChicago, anoudza Healthline kuti vazhinji vehunhu vakadzi vane muganho wekuratidzira "vanowana mubairo munharaunda munguva pfupi, asi munguva refu, vanowana hutsinye chaizvo arangwe. ”

Nhoroondo, pakave nekufarira kwakanyanya nevakadzi vanorwara nepfungwa. Pakati pezana ramakore re19th (uye nguva refu zvisati zvaitika), vakadzi vakaonekwa sevanorwara vakashandurwa kuita zvioniso zvemitambo kune vanachiremba vazhinji vechirume kuti vayedze veruzhinji. (Kazhinji kazhinji kwete, "marapirwo" aya aive asinganzwisisike.)

“Izvi [zvinyadzo zvehutano hwepfungwa] zvinotambudza zvakanyanya vakadzi vane muganho, nekuti nzanga yedu yakagadzirira kudzinga vakadzi sevanopenga.” - Dr. Eisenlohr-Moul

Dzimba dzakakomberedza vakadzi vanorwara nepfungwa zvakanyanya dzakachinja nekufamba kwenguva kuti vadzikise vanhu nenzira dzakasiyana. Muenzaniso wakakosha ndewekuti Donald Trump akaonekwa pa "The Howard Stern Show" muna 2004, uye mune hurukuro pamusoro paLindsay Lohan, akati, "Vanouya sei vakadzi vanonetsekana, munoziva, vakadzika, vachinetseka zvakanyanya, ndivo vanogara vakanaka Mumubhedha?"

Kunyangwe zvaishungurudza zvakataurwa naTrump, fungidziro yekuti vakadzi vanopenga "vakanaka pabonde inozivikanwa.

Kunyangwe uchinamatwa kana kuvengwa, uchionekwa sehusiku-husiku kumira, kana nzira yekujekeserwa, ndinonzwa inogara iripo huremu hwekushoreka kwakabatana nedenda rangu. Mazwi matatu madiki - "Ini ndiri muganho" - uye ndinogona kuona maziso emumwe munhu achichinja sezvavanogadzira backstory kwandiri mupfungwa dzavo.

Iyo chaiyo-yehupenyu mhedzisiro yenyaya idzi

Kune njodzi kune avo vedu vanowira mumucheto wekugona uye kuita zvepabonde.

Imwe ongororo yegore ra2014 yakaratidza 40 muzana yevakadzi vane chirwere chakakomba chepfungwa vakabatwa chibharo semunhu mukuru. Kupfuura izvozvo, 69 muzana zvakare yakashumwa ichisangana neimwe nzira yechisimba mudzimba. Muchokwadi, vakadzi vakaremara kwerudzi rupi zvarwo vari mukana wekuitirwa mhirizhonga pabonde kupfuura vakadzi vasina.

Izvi zvinonyanya kuve zvinoparadza mumamiriro ezvirwere zvepfungwa zvakaita seBPD.

Kunyangwe kushungurudzwa kwepabonde kwehucheche kusingatariswe sechinhu chakakosha mukuvandudza BPD, kutsvagisa kwakaratidza pane imwe nzvimbo pakati pevanhu vane BPD vakasangana nekushungurudzika pabonde kwevana.

Semunhu akapona nekushungurudzwa pabonde semwana, ndakaona nekurapwa kuti BPD yangu yakanga yavapo nekuda kwekushungurudzwa kwandakaitwa. Ndakadzidza kuti, kunyangwe zvisina hutano, zuva nezuva kuzviuraya, kuzvikuvadza, kusagadzikana pakudya, uye kusagadzikana zvese zvaingove nzira dzekurwisa. Vakanga vari maitiro epfungwa dzangu ekutaurirana, "Unofanira kurarama, nenzira ipi neipi inodiwa."

Kunyangwe ini ndakadzidza kuremekedza miganhu yangu kuburikidza nekurapwa, ini ndichiri kuzadzwa nekugara ndichizvidya moyo kuti kusagadzikana kwangu kunogona kutungamira mukuwedzera kushungurudzwa uye kumutsiridzwa.

Kunze kwechinyadzo

Bessel van der Kolk, MD, akanyora mubhuku rake "The Body Keeps The Score," iyo "tsika inoumba kuratidzwa kwekutambudzika kunetseka." Kunyangwe ichi chiri chokwadi nezvekushungurudzika, ini handigone kubatsira asi ndinotenda mabasa echikadzi akaita chikamu chakakosha nei vakadzi vane BPD vachinyanya kudzingwa kana kupokana.

"Izvi [zvinonyadzisa] zvinotambudza zvakanyanya kune vakadzi vane muganho, nekuti nzanga yedu yakagadzirira kudzinga vakadzi sevanopenga," akadaro Dr. Eisenlohr-Moul. "Kurangwa kwemunhukadzi nekuchimbidza kwakakura kwazvo kupfuura murume ari kukurumidza."

Kunyangwe pandakafambira mberi kuburikidza nehutano hwepfungwa kupora uye ndikafunga maitiro ekugadzirisa angu emuganhu zviratidzo nenzira zvine hutano, ndakadzidza kuti manzwiro angu haazombofa akanyarara zvakakwana kune vamwe vanhu.

Tsika yedu yatodzidzisa vakadzi kuti vapinze kutsamwa kwavo uye kusuwa kwavo: kuti vaonekwe, asi vasanzwikwe. Vanhukadzi vane muganho - vanonzwa kushinga uye zvakadzama - ndizvo zvinopokana zvachose kuti tinodzidziswa sei kuti vakadzi vanofanira kuva.

Kuva nemuganhu semukadzi zvinoreva kuramba uchibatwa mumoto unopokana pakati pehutano hwepfungwa nekunyadziswa.

Ini ndaigara ndichinyatsofunga kuti ndiani wandakagovana hutachiona hwangu Asi ikozvino, ini ndinorarama zvisina tsarukano muchokwadi changu.

Kuzvidzwa uye ngano dzenzanga yedu inoenderera kune vakadzi vane BPD hausi muchinjikwa wedu kutakura.

Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro munyori weCuba-America, mutsigiri wehutano hwepfungwa, uye murwiri wezvematongerwo enyika ari muSalt Lake City, Utah. Ndiye mutsigiri anotaurisa ekupedza mhirizhonga pabonde nemudzimba kuvanhukadzi, kodzero dzevashandi vebonde, kururamisira kwehurema, uye kusanganisa kwevakadzi. Pamusoro pekunyora kwake, Kyli akabatana neMagdalene Collective, musha wezvekurara pabonde muSalt Lake City. Unogona kumushanyira pa Instagram kana webhusaiti yake.