Matauriro andakaita ne "Kurasikirwa" Nehanzvadzi Yangu kuMweya Wake Mate

Zvemukati

• Sisi vedu ... naDave
• Kuwana Kugamuchirwa
• Zvino, Hedu Hutsva Hukama (s)
• Ongororo ye

Akanga ari makore manomwe apfuura, asi ini ndichiri kuzvirangarira sezvazvaive nezuro: Ini ndakashatirwa zvakanyanya kuti ndinzwe kutya sezvo ini ndaiyangarara kumusana kwangu zasi kumirira kununurwa. Maminitsi akanga apfuura, vanhu vaviri vedu vakanyura muRwizi rweDart kunze kweQueenstown, New Zealand, uye hanzvadzi yangu, Maria, ari kundishevedzera ari kumahombekombe. Kana hunyanzvi hwekukanda tambo hwechidiki hukadonha, baba vakashinga vekuJapan, vachinakidzwa nerwendo rwakafanana rwekuita kayaking nemukadzi wavo nevasikana vaviri vadiki, vanomira muchiuno-mukati memvura uye vanonditsvaga pandinofamba. Anobata bata bhachi rangu rehupenyu uye achindibata nesimba achindimisa pamahombekombe egungwa. Ndakavhunduka uye chando kusvika pabhonzo, handidzikame kusvikira Maria auya achimhanya kuzondimbundira.

"Kwakanaka, hanzvadzi yangu," anozevezera zvinyoronyoro kakawanda. "It's OK. Ndinokuda, ndinokuda." Kunyangwe achingove mukuru kwandiri nemwedzi gumi neminomwe, ihanzvadzi yangu hombe, gadziriro yangu yerutsigiro, uye mhuri yese yandiinayo parwendo urwu rwemavhiki maviri pakati penyika kubva kumusha kwedu kuNYC. Kuwedzera pakushaiwa kwangu ndechekuti tangosara mazuva maviri kubva paKisimusi yedu yekutanga kure nevabereki vedu. Nguva yezororo haina kukodzera, asi pandakawana mugove wekufamba muNew Zealand muna Zvita, ndakasvetukira pairi ndokuparadzanisa hanzvadzi yangu mari kuti igone kubatana neni. (Yakabatana: Nei Uchifanira Kuwedzera Rwaamai-Mwanasikana Rwendo kune Yako Rwendo Bhaketi Rondedzero)

Kundimbundira kwavo kwoushamwari kunononoka kundidzosera kuchokwadi, kunomisa muviri wangu kubva pakubvunda, uye kunonyaradza pfungwa dzangu dzekumhanya. Zvakanakisisa pane zvese, zvinoita kuti ndinzwe ndiri padyo naye kupfuura zvandaive nazvo mumwedzi.

Sisi vedu ... naDave

Usandibata zvisiri izvo, ini naMaria tiri padyo padyo, chaizvo. Ndakafambisa mapuriro maviri pamusoro pake muchivako chedu chemafurati muBrooklyn makore angangoita maviri apfuura, mushure mekushanya kwedu kwehanzvadzi yekutanga kuenda kuArgentina. Mavhiki edu maviri tiri pamwechete muSouth America akatimanikidza kuisa parutivi hupenyu hwedu hwakabatikana, hune basa-nekufungisisa uye kuita 24/7 nguva yemumwe nemumwe, izvo zvakatibatsira kuti tibatanidzane nenzira yatakange tisina kubva kubva patakasiya imba yevabereki vedu. mushure mekoreji, angangoita makore gumi apfuura. Kubudirira kwerwendo irworwo kwakatitungamira kuti tive nezvimwe zviitiko pamwe chete, kusanganisira jaunt muHawaii uye, zvekare, New Zealand.Kuva nekutarisisa kwavo uye rudo rusina mugumo pamahombekombe erwizi anotonhora masikati iwayo ndizvo chaizvo zvandinoda kubva parwendo urwu, kunyanya sezvo ndanga ndanzwa kuti ndakanga ndichangodonhedza pasi chinyorwa chekutanga chaMaria. (Zvinoenderana: Mumwe Mukadzi Anogovana Mashandisiro Aita Zuva raAmai Kwaari Kubva Pakurasikirwa naAmai Vake)

Ndagara ndichiziva kuti kugovana munhu wandinoda pasi rino - uye munin'ina chete wandinaye - nemumwe wake zvaizonetsa. Chakaita kuti zvinhu zviwedzere kuoma ndechekuti mukomana wake mutsva, Dave, aive anodikamwa zvachose kubva pazuva rekutanga, asingade chimwe chinhu kunze kwekunditora sehanzvadzi, futi. Grreat. Tsitsi dzake nekundigamuchira kwakazara uye nzira dzangu dzinoda ("Ndokumbirawo ndiwane nguva yehanzvadzi ndega ndisina iwe? Aka, LEAVE.") aita kuti zviome kusamuda. Kwete kuti ndinoda. Zvakakosha kuti ndifare kune hanzvadzi yangu, iyo pakupedzisira yawana "murume wake," sezvaanotaura, asi zvakadaro, handina kumbofungidzira. kuti kuwana kwake "iye" zvaizoreva kuti handisisiri iye nhamba Poshi. (Yakabatana: Icho Chimwe Chinhu Chinonyanya Kukoshesa Rufaro Rwako)

Ndinoziva kuti zvinoita sokunge ndine godo, uye zvichida ichokwadi sezvo ini ndisati ndava nerobhu rangu chairo. Asi chinonyanya kundishamisa ndechekuti ndinonzwa kubatira Maria wangu, kupfuura nakare kose. Izvo zvakasiyana izvozvi ndezvekuti isu takura uye tinovimba pane mumwe nemumwe zvakanyanya, kunyanya sezvo vabereki vedu vachikwegura uye vanozopedzisira voda yakawanda yekushandira pamwe kwedu kuvachengeta. Kupfuura izvozvo, Maria ndiye anogara aripo anombundira shungu dzangu pamusoro pekuchinja kwebasa, kuputsa, kurwa neshamwari, uye nezvimwe. Kazhinji pandino mbundira vamwe, kusanganisira vatorwa (ndinogona kunge ndichigamuchira zvikuru, zvakare!), Hapana chinonzwa sekudzivirira, kuda, kugamuchira, uye kurudyi sekubata kwake.

Uye ikozvino akabata Dave. Senguva dzose.

Kuwana Kugamuchirwa

Uye hapana mugumo uri padhuze pakuona, asi panzvimbo pezvo kusimbisa kuti Dave haasi kuenda chero kupi, izvo zvinoshanduka zvese pakati pehanzvadzi. Kamwe kamwe, Dave achaita-uye anga ari kubva pavakasangana iro rinotyisa reBasa Zuva-rive rake rekutanga. (Yakabatana: Sayenzi Inoti Kushamwaridzana Ndiko Kiyi Yekusingaperi Hutano uye Mufaro)

“Iri idambudziko rinofadza, asi kuchinja kwakaoma kusina munhu anotaura nezvako,” anopa zano muzukuru wangu akachenjera, mukuru, Richard, uyo akaita chimwe chinhu chakafanana nomukoma wake mukuru, Michael. Kuona Michael achiroora, achienda kune imwe imba muNew Jersey uye aine vana vatatu vakanaka zvaive zvakaomera Richard, uye kwete nekuti haana kuroora seni. Yakanga iri "shanduko," sezvaanoidaidza, yekurasikirwa nenhengo yemhuri yako yepedyo (uye shamwari yepamoyo) kumhuri yavo itsva yepedyo. Iye mukadzi anotora chinzvimbo chemukoma nenzira dzakasiyana, kuve muchengeti wepachivande, kuridza-bhodhi, mukati-joker, mufashoni uye wezano wezvemari, kuki-splitter, kuenda-kunombundira, uye nezvimwe. Uye pamusoro pazvo, mukwanyina anopa zvinhu izvo mukoma nomunun’una asingakwanisi. Saka hapana makwikwi. Kwete kuti ndiri kuti makwikwi (asi zviri zvachose).

Ndine udyire here? Pamwe. Asi izvo zveumbozha zvandinogona kuwana semukadzi asina mukadzi asina mabasa kune chero munhu asiri moi. Kudzidza kumugovana kunotora nguva, uye ini handipo ipapo. Ndave pedyo nekurega kuenda, asi ndinotya kuti ndingasazombojairira kusava nhengo yemhuri, kunyangwe ndiine mudiwa wangu nevana. Chandinofanira kuzviyeuchidza ndeichi kuti yedu yekutanga hama yemurume chisungo chakadzika uye chisingaperi, ini handifanirwe kuzvibvunza kana kunzwa sekunge ndiri kutsiviwa. Uye nekuti tese tiri mumakumi matatu uye hapana kana mumwe wedu akambobatwa "vadiki," zvine nharo kuti takave nenguva yakawanda kupfuura yakawanda yekusimbisa kubatana kwedu uye kuvaka ndangariro.

Zvino, Hedu Hutsva Hukama (s)

Hanzvadzi yangu naDave vakaroorana makore matatu pashure perwendo rwedu rwehanzvadzi yokuNew Zealand uye pakupedzisira vakatamira kuWashington, D.C., uko Maria ane kambani yemitambo yemitambo. Akabudirira uye akazvivakira hupenyu hwakanaka ikoko. Ipo COVID-19 parizvino yakamisa marwendo edu, Maria anga achiuya ku NYC kuzoona mashoo ebasa uye kugara neni mufurati rangu reBrooklyn mwedzi wega wega. Tainwa kofi, tofonera vabereki vedu, tombotandara, tichiona TV...zvainakidza. Ndinomusuwa zvakanyanya (dzimwe nguva, zvakanyanya kurwadza), asi ikozvino ndinoedza kuisa pfungwa dzangu pazvinhu zvangu zvekutanga, kusanganisira kutamira kuCalifornia zvangu shamwari kana tave kune rumwe rutivi rwedenda iri.

Pandino gadzirira kufamba-nyika ino, shamwari yangu yepamwoyo yehudiki, Tatiana, akandiyeuchidza panguva yekudya kwemanheru rimwe remanzwiro akadzama andakanzwa makore apfuura naMaria. Anondiudza kuti anofara kuti ndakasangana nemurume akanaka uyu uye anotsigira zvakadaro chiitiko chitsva chinonakidza, asi zvakare ari kunzwa godo uye akasuruvara.

"Godo?" Ini ndinobvunza, ndashamisika nesarudzo yake yeshoko sezvo anga ave anofara akaroora kwemakore gumi nemana. "Zvimwe zvinosuwisa," anosimbisa nekuzvishamisa kwekuzviziva, achiziva kuti zvandaikoshesa zvachinja, uye zvakaoma. "Ndiri kufara zvikuru pamusoro pako. Izvi ndizvo zvawanga uchida kwenguva yakareba. Asi, panguva imwe chete, ndinonzwa sokuti ndiri kurasikirwa newe. Zvinhu hazvizombofi zvakafanana."

Hongu, zvichave zvakasiyana uye zvingave zvakanaka, asi hazvina kumbofanana. Ini ndinotura befu uye ndinogutsurira sezvandinogovana naye quote yandakaverenga munguva pfupi yapfuura mubhuku raLori Gottlieb rinotengeswa zvakanyanya, Pamwe Unofanira Kutaura Kune Mumwe Munhu: "nekuchinja kupi zvako-kunyange kwakanaka, kuchinja kwakanaka-kunouya kurasikirwa." Ndinogona kurondedzera, hanzvadzi.

Ongororo ye