Ndokumbirawo Mira Kufunga Kwangu Kwakakwira-Kunoshanda Kushushikana Kunondiita Ini Nesimbe

Zvemukati

• Kushungurudzika kune zviso zvakawanda
• Kwete, handikwanise "kungozvipfuura"
• Vakakwira-vanoshanda vanhu vanoda kurapwa kwekushushikana zvakare
• Mugwagwa uri kumberi

Isu tinosanganisira zvigadzirwa zvatinofunga zvinobatsira kuvaverengi vedu. Kana iwe ukatenga kuburikidza nehukama pane ino peji, isu tinogona kuwana diki komisheni. Heano maitiro edu.

NdiMuvhuro. Ini ndinomuka nenguva dza4: 30 mangwanani ndoenda kunzvimbo yekurovedza muviri, ndouya kumba, ndinogeza, uye ndotanga kunyora nyaya inokodzera gare gare masikati. Ini ndinonzwa murume wangu achitanga kusimuka, saka ndinofamba ndichikwidza kumusoro kuti nditaure naye paanenge achigadzirira zuva iri.

Panguva ino, mwanasikana wedu anomuka uye ndinomunzwa achiimba achifara mubhedha: "Amai!" Ini ndinotora Claire kubva pamubhedha wake uye tinofamba tichidzika pasi kuti tigadzire kudya kwemangwanani. Isu tinogumbatira pasofa uye ini ndinofema nekunhuwirira kwakanaka kwebvudzi rake iye achidya.

Na7: 30 mangwanani, ini ndasvinira mukurovedza muviri, kupfeka, kuita zvishoma basa, kutsvoda murume wangu akaonekana uye ndokutanga zuva rangu nemwana wangu mudiki.

Uye ipapo kushushikana kwangu kunonyura mukati.

Kushungurudzika kune zviso zvakawanda

"Kushungurudzika kunokanganisa hunhu hwese uye kunogona kutaridzika kwakasiyana kwazvo muvanhu vakasiyana," anodaro Jodi Aman, chiremba wezvepfungwa uye munyori we "Iwe 1, Kushushikana 0: Kuhwina Hupenyu Hwako Kudzoka Kubva Mukutya uye Panic."

"Munhu anoshanda zvakanyanya anogona kunge achitambura asingaonekwe," anodaro.

Sekureva kwemushumo wa2015 neiyo Substance Abuse uye Mental Health Services Administration, inofungidzirwa kuti vanhu vakuru vane mamirioni 6.1 vane makore gumi nemasere kana kudarika muUnited States vaive neyakaipisisa kamwechete pagore rakapfuura. Iyi nhamba inomiririra 6.7 muzana yevakuru vese veU.S. Zvakare, kusagadzikana kwekushushikana ndicho chirwere chepfungwa chakajairika muUnited States, chinokanganisa vanhu vane mamirioni makumi mana vane makore gumi nemasere zvichikwira, kana zvikamu gumi nezvisere kubva muzana zvevanhu.

Asi nyanzvi zhinji dzehutano hwepfungwa dzinokasira kuratidza kuti, nepo idzi nhamba dzichiratidza kujairika kwekushungurudzika uye mamwe mamiriro, nzira iyo vanhu vanoona zviratidzo zvakasiyana.Kushungurudzika kunogona kusingawanzo kuve kuri pachena kune avo vakakukomberedza, uye isu tinofanirwa kutaura nezve zvinoreva izvi.

"Kushungurudzika kunogona kudzvinyirira chishuwo chekuita uye kuita, asi vanhu vane hunyanzvi vanowedzera kufambira mberi mukuyedza kubudirira nezvinangwa," anodaro Mayra Mendez, PhD, chiremba wezvepfungwa uye murongi wepurogiramu yehurema hwehungwaru uye hwekuvandudza uye hutano hwepfungwa mabasa kuProvidence Saint John's Mwana uye Yekusimudzira Mhuri Center muSanta Monica, California. "Kushingairira kuita kazhinji kunotsigira chiito uye kunofambisa vanhu vanoshanda nesimba kuita kuti zvinhu zviitwe."

Izvi zvinoreva kuti vamwe vanhu vane kushushikana vanogona zvakare kuchengetedza zvezuva nezuva - uye dzimwe nguva zvakasiyana - mabasa. Mendez anonongedzera kuvanhu vanozivikanwa avo vakataura kuti vane kushushikana, kusanganisira Winston Churchill, Emily Dickinson, Charles M. Schultz, naOwen Wilson semuenzaniso wakatanhamara.

Kwete, handikwanise "kungozvipfuura"

Ndakagara nekuora mwoyo uye kuzvidya moyo kwehupenyu hwangu hwese hwekukura. Kana vanhu vaziva zvekutambura kwangu, ndinowanzo sangana na "Handina kumbofungidzira izvozvo pamusoro pako!"

Kunyange vanhu ava vaine vavariro dzakanaka uye vangangodaro vasingazive zvakawanda nezvehutano hwepfungwa, izvo zvandinonzwa munguva idzodzo ndezvekuti: "Asi chii chaigona iwe kuora mwoyo nezve? ” kana "Chii chingave chakashata zvakanyanya nezve yako Hupenyu? ”

Izvo zvisingazivikanwe nevanhu ndezvekuti kurwisana nehutano hwepfungwa kunowanzoitwa mukati - uye kuti avo vedu vatinotarisana navo vanopedza nguva yakawanda vachizvibvunza iyo mimwe mibvunzo.

"Kufungidzira zvisizvo kwekuora mwoyo ndekwekuti iwe unogona kungozvibvisa mazviri kana kuti chimwe chinhu chakaitika kukukonzera kuti unzwe kuora mwoyo," anodaro Kathryn Moore, PhD, chiremba wezvepfungwa kuProvidence Saint John's Child uye Family Development Center muSanta Monica, California.

“Paunenge wakaora mwoyo, unonzwa kusuruvara kana kusava netariro pasina chikonzero chekunze. Kushungurudzika kunogona kuve kusagadzikana kusingaperi kwehupenyu, kana kunogona kuve kunzwa kwakanyanya kwekusava netariro uye kufunga kwakashata pamusoro pako neupenyu hwako, ”anowedzera.

Mendez anobvumirana, achiwedzera kuti kutenda kwakashata nezvekuora mwoyo ndeyekuti mamiriro epfungwa aunogona kudzora nekufunga zvakanaka. Kwete, anodaro.

"Kushungurudzika chirwere chinorondedzerwa nemakemikari, zvipenyu, uye kusaenzana kwechimiro zvinokanganisa kugadzikana kwemamiriro," Mendez anotsanangura. “Kune zvinhu zvakawanda zviri kukonzera kuora mwoyo, uye hapana chinhu chinokonzera zviratidzo zvekushungurudzika. Kushushikana hakugone kubviswa nepfungwa dzakanaka. ”

Mendez anonyora mamwe mafungidziro asina kunaka nezvekuora mwoyo, kusanganisira "kushushikana chinhu chakafanana nekusuwa" uye "kushushikana kuchazopera zvega."

"Kusuruvara kunowanzoitika uye kunotarisirwa mumamiriro ekurasikirwa, shanduko, kana kuomerwa nehupenyu hupenyu," anodaro. “Kushungurudzika mamiriro ezvinhu anowanikwa pasina zvinokonzera uye anononoka kusvika pakuda kurapwa. Kushungurudzika kunopfuura kusuwa kwapanhambo nenhambo. Kushungurudzika kunosanganisira nguva yekusava netariro, kuneta, kushaya basa, kusagadzikana, kutsamwa, uye matambudziko ekuisa pfungwa. ”

Kwandiri, kushushikana kazhinji kunonzwa senge ndiri kucherechedza hupenyu hweumwe munhu, zvinoita sekunge ndiri kutenderera pamusoro pemuviri wangu. Ndinoziva kuti ndiri kuita zvese izvo zvinhu zvandiri "kufanirwa kuita" uye kazhinji ndichinyemwerera zvechokwadi pazvinhu zvandinofarira, asi ini ndinosara ndichigara ndichinzwa kunge munyengeri. Izvo zvakafanana nekunzwa munhu kwaanogona kusangana nako pavanoseka kekutanga kekupedzisira mushure mekufirwa nemudiwa. Mufaro wenguva pfupi uripo, asi chibhakera mumatumbu kwete kumashure kumashure.

Vakakwira-vanoshanda vanhu vanoda kurapwa kwekushushikana zvakare

Moore anoti kurapwa ndiyo nzvimbo yakanakisa munhu yaanogona kutanga kurapwa kana ari kusangana nezviratidzo zvekuora mwoyo.

“Varapi vanogona kubatsira munhu kuziva mifungo yakaipa, zvitendero, uye tsika dzinogona kunge dzichikonzera kunzwa kuora mwoyo. Zvinogona zvakare kusanganisira zvinhu zvakaita semushonga, kudzidza hunyanzvi hwekufunga, uye kuita zviitwa zvine chekuita nekuvandudza moyo, sekuita maekisesaizi, ”anodaro.

John Huber, PsyD, weMainstream Mental Health zvakare inokurudzira kubuda "mubhokisi rako renyaradzo," kunyanya kana munhu achinyanya kudarika.

"Kunyange vakabudirira uye kazhinji vatungamiriri muminda yavo, vanhu ava vari [kuita hupenyu hwavo] zvakafanana nekumhanya mujaho nebhande rekuremerwa rakatakura mapaundi zana," akadaro. Kuti udzikise mutoro, Huber anoti, funga kuburitsa kubva pamidziyo, kuenda kunze kunofurwa nemhepo, kana kutora chiitiko chitsva. Tsvagiridzo yakaona kuti kudhirowa kunogona kutovimbisa mabhenefiti kune avo vane kushushikana.

Kana iri yangu maonero asiri ezvekurapa: Taura nezve kushushikana kwako zvakanyanya sezvinobvira. Pakutanga, hazvizove nyore uye unogona kunetseka kuti vanhu vanozofungei. Asi sarudza nhengo yemhuri inovimbwa, shamwari, kana nyanzvi uye iwe uchadzidza kuti vanhu vazhinji vanogovana zvakafanana zviitiko. Kutaura nezvazvo kunorerutsa kusurukirwa kunoguma nekupinza mukati mamiriro ehutano hwepfungwa.

Nekuti zvisinei nechiso chekupererwa nezano rako, zvinogara zviri nyore kutarisa mugirazi kana paine fudzi rekusendamira pakamira padhuze newe.

Mugwagwa uri kumberi

Mumunda wehutano hwepfungwa, kuchine zvakawanda zvatisingazive. Asi chatinoziva ndechekuti kushungurudzika uye kusagadzikana kwekushushikana zvinokanganisa vanhu vakawandisa kuti nzanga yedu irambe isingazive nezvazvo.

Kuora mwoyo hakuite kuti ndive nehusimbe, kusagadzikana nevanhu, kana shamwari yakaipa naamai. Uye apo ini ndichigona kuita zvinhu zvakawanda kwazvo, ini handikundike. Ndinoziva kuti ndinoda rubatsiro uye nehurongwa hwekutsigira.

Uye izvi zvakanaka.

Chinyorwa chaCaroline Shannon-Karasik chakaiswa muzvinyorwa zvakati wandei, zvinosanganisira: Kuchengetwa Kwemba Kwakanaka, Redbook, Kudzivirira, VegNews, nemagazini eKiwi, pamwe neSheKnows.com neEatClean.com. Parizvino arikunyora muunganidzwa werondedzero. Zvimwe zvinogona kuwanikwa pa carolineshannon.com. Caroline anogonawo kusvikwa pa Instagram @carolineshannoncarasik.