Vakadzi Vari Kuisa Mabhomba Anopenya Munhengo Dzavo

Zvemukati

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Hapana kana chakakanganisika nekuwedzera kaLisa Frank -style muraraungu uye kupenya kuhupenyu hwako. Kunyangwe ikauya iri muchimiro chechigunwe, iyo frappuccino, kana kunyange nyati manoodles, hapana chinonyadzisa kusvetuka paiyo unicorn bandwagon-mushure mezvose, kana technicolor pixie guruva risingakwanise kukunyemwerera, chii chinogona?

Asi kana iwe uchinge uchishamisika kuti tsika iyi yaizosvika kusvika papi, isu takarova zvine mutsindo mugumo-chaiwo. Kambani inonzi Pretty Woman Inc. iri kutengesa bhomba chaiyo inopenya vaginal inonzi Passion Dust. Chinangwa chayo? Kuti ndikupe iwe "inotapira, yakavhenekera orgasm." (Nekuti zviripachena, zvenguva dzose zvipenga hazvina kukwana zvakakwana sezvazviri.) Kufanana nechinhu chiri chose nyati iyo yakashongedza ma interwebs mugore rapfuura, yaive rova ​​nekukasira, nekukurumidza kutengesa pawebhusaiti yekambani.

Kushushikana Guruva "kapisi kapisi yakaiswa mukati memukadzi kweinenge awa imwe chete usati wasangana pabonde. Sezvo macapsule achiwedzera kudziirwa uye kunyoroveswa neaya echikadzi emvura anotanga kunyungudika, achiburitsa iyo inopenya, inotapira-zvihwitsi Passion Dust mukati meiyo capsule, "maererano newebsite.

Chokwadi, kuve neMilky Way Galaxy-themed hookup inonzwika kunge inonakidza, asi kungofunga kufunga kwekusveta piritsi rinobwinya kumusoro uko kunoratidzika kunge kunopokana. Bvunza chero doc, uye ivo vakanyanya kuvimbiswa kusimbisa kutya kwako. , sezvatakataura munyaya yedu pamusoro pekuti mazai ejade akachengeteka kuisa mukati memukadzi wako. (Spoiler yambiro: havasi.)

Iyo kambani iri kuseri kwePassion Dust inosimbirira kuti yavo yekuzora-giredhi glitters uye gem powders haina-chepfu uye yakatenderera (pane hexagonal), ichideredza njodzi yekutsamwiswa kubva kumipendero yakapinza. Izvo zvinoshandiswa zvinosanganisira gelatin capsules, starch-based edible glitter, acacia (gum arabic) poda, Zea Mays starch, uye yemiriwo stearate.

"Kune zvimwe zvinopenya zvinopenya, makemikari, uye zvinowedzera mumuromo gloss yaunopfeka kana inovhenekera pachiso chako kana eyeshadow pane zviri muchigadzirwa ichi," maererano nePassion Dust webhusaiti. Vanotaura kuti wakatofema kana kupinza zvinopenya zvine ngozi uye makemikari pasina kurwara, uye kuti hapana chinopinda mumukadzi chakachengeteka ne100% kubva kumatamponi, douche, hupfu, uye zvinonhuhwirira kusvika kumatoyi, lubes, lotions, mafuta, uye. kunyangwe nzara dzakasviba neminwe. Maererano newebhusaiti, "Kana iwe wakambove nedambudziko remukadzi waunaro usati washandisa Passion Dust zvakadaro ... Chokwadi ndechekuti, hapana chinofanira kupinda imomo uye kana ikadaro, unofanirwa kushandisa kungwara kwako pakusarudza kuti chii. izvo zvichaitika.

Nekudaro, nekuda kwekuti zvimwe zvinhu hazvikonzere njodzi kumuviri wako kune dzimwe nzvimbo hazvireve kuti zvakachengeteka kumukadzi wako: Semuenzaniso, michero nemavheji zvakanakira kuenda mudumbu rako asi ipfungwa yakaipa kuenda chero kupi. nhengo dzemukadzi wako. Kunyangwe chigadzirwa chemuchina chakatsvairwa chakachena chinotakura mabhakitiriya, kuunza hutachiona kumitezo yako yekubereka uye nekugumburisa huwandu hwakaenzana hwebhakitiriya mumukadzi, zvinogona kukonzera hutachiona, sekureva kwaMary Jane Minkin, MD, kiriniki inosanganisa purofesa we ob-gyn kuYale Chikoro yeMishonga, sezvatakataura muZvinhu gumi zvausingafanire Kuisa Pedyo neVagina Wako.

Hutano hune njodzi parutivi, ngatitorei sec kufunga kuti nei aya makapuruji anopenya akagadzirwa munzvimbo yekutanga: kushandura ako madzimai zvikamu kuva chishamiso, kunze-kweiyi-nyika chiitiko. Kunyanya, webhusaiti inotsanangura kuti "kunakirwa kunotapira seswiti asi kwete kutapira zvakanyanya, zvakakwana kuita kuti mudiwa wako anzwe kuti Yara yako (mvura-mukadzi kana butterfly diki) ndiyo iyo mavhaji ese anofanirwa kutaridzika, kunzwa uye kuravira senge; zvinyoro, zvinotapira uye zvemashiripiti!"

Umh, ndiregererei, asi nguva yadarika ndakatarisa, *ose* magiya ane mashiripiti zvisinei nekuti akapfava here kana kutapira kana kurutsa zvinopenya. Vanoita zviri nani kupfuura kuroya machinda engano kana kutumira mhuka duku dzinoyamwisa murwiyo—zvinobereka upenyu hunotyisa hwevanhu.

Uye, zvakanyanyisa, ndirini pawakapedzisira kuona chigadzirwa chakashambadzirwa kuvadiki vachivimbisa kuita kuti sikarudzi yavo ifadze? (Mabhora eDick disco? Masuppositories ekuita kuti mbeu inakidze semakeke?)

Never? Hongu, ndakafunga kudaro. Inguva inguva iyo nyika inosarudza kuda uye kukoshesa edu anokudzwa "madiki mapurugufuru" kune zvakasikwa zvemashiripiti zvinhu zvavasina-hapana kupenya kunodiwa.

Ongororo ye