5 Kufungidzira Pabonde — Kunotsanangurwa

Zvemukati

• Kuita Bonde pane imwe nzvimbo isina kujairika
• Tungamirwa
• Kusvirana Nemunhu Mutsva
• Bonde Nemuromo
• Batanidza Panguva yeBonde
• Ongororo ye

Isu tinoita poindi yekusambokurukura nezvezviroto zvedu-uye izvi zvinonyanya kuitika kana zvasvika pabonde. Asi kana isu tikaburitsa kumusoro kwedu pakati-pe-machira fungidziro, shamwari dzedu dzaizonzwisisa-ivo vanogona kunge vakafanana. Mune ongororo ichangobva kuitwa yevakuru chiuru nemazana mashanu nemakumi mashanu nevatanhatu, vaongorori vanobva kuYunivhesiti yeQuebec vakawana kuti fungidziro zhinji dzebonde dzakanyanya kupfuura zvaifungwa kare. Pano, izvo zvishuwo zvishanu vakadzi vazhinji vanobvuma kwazviri, pamwe nehunyanzvi kuraira maitiro ekutora matanho eiyo chaiyo-hupenyu bvunzo drive.

Kuita Bonde pane imwe nzvimbo isina kujairika

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Iyi fungidziro inowanzoitika muhukama hwakareba, anodaro Laura Berman, Ph.D., bonde uye hukama hwehukama uye nyanzvi yekugara pabonde yaDurex. Imhaka yekuti kuyedza chero chinhu chitsva-kungave kunoreva kuenda kune yakasarudzika-kupfuura-yenguva dzose brunch nzvimbo kana kubatikana kunze kwemba yekurara-chaiko kunomutsa iyo dopamine nzvimbo dzehuropi, kuwedzera manzwiro emufaro uye mufaro.

Zviedze: Nzvimbo yakaipisisa yekuyedza manzwiro emukomana wako nezvekunyengedza kumashure kweiyo bhaisikopo bhaisikopo ndipo panotanga kudzima mwenje, anodaro Berman. Zvitaurire panguva isina kwawakarerekera (verenga: kwete paunenge uchiita zvepabonde kana munharaunda yako yeruchiva yesarudzo), uye gadzirira kutaurirana. Anogona kuvenga pfungwa yako yekuita bonde mupaki yeruzhinji, semuenzaniso, asi svinura kuenda kwairi mukona yakavanzika yemba yako, anodaro Berman.

Tungamirwa

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Makumi mashanu Mimvuri yeGrey haina kutanga kukoshesa kwenyika neBDSM-yakangoisa pairi. "Vakadzi nhasi vari kuita zvinhu zvakawanda zuva rega rega, zvekuti pfungwa yekupa hutongi kune mumwe munhu-uye kwete izvo chete, asi mumwe munhu anoziva zvekuita nekudzora ikoko-inogona kukanganisa zvakanyanya," anodaro Berman.

Zviedze: Sezvinoita bonde reruzhinji, BDSM hachisi chinhu chekuyedza kunze. Kutanga, bvunza murume wako kuti anganzwa sei kusanganisa imwe yehusungwa kana yakasviba hurukuro mune yako yenguva dzose maitiro. Kana iye ari mungarava, famba naye kuburikidza yako yakanaka mamiriro. Varume vazhinji vanogona kuzeza kutora chinzvimbo chakakosha mukamuri yekurara, saka mirairo chaiyo inogona kubatsira, anodaro Berman. Zvakare zvakakosha: kusarudza izwi rakachengeteka usati watanga. (Vakadzi havasi ivo chete vanobvuma mukufungidzira kweBDSM. Iyo ndeimwe ye5 Chakavanzika Varume Festish Izvo Chaizvoizvo Zvakajairika.)

Kusvirana Nemunhu Mutsva

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Berman anoti zvakajairika kuti ushuve angangoita dhigirii remhando, kunyanya kana wanga uine mukomana wako kwemakore. Nepo vanhu vachigona kuverengerwa kuti murume ave nemurume mumwe chete, kushuvira shanduko mune inoyevedza hakusi kujairika.

Zviedze: Berman haakurudzire chaizvoizvo kurara nemumwe wako, kunyangwe kana wako akakosha mumwe arimo. "Inovhura Bhokisi rePandora," anodaro. "Mumwe munhu anosungirwa kunzwa godo kana kusachengeteka." Pane kudaro, edza kutamba. Ita kuti mukomana wako-muchinzvimbo chemutorwa-akutore iwe mubhawa yemunharaunda, kana kumukumbira kuti apfeke wigi kana chipfeko pamubhedha. Kuyedza nyowani-kwauri-chinzvimbo, kutamba zvinonyadzisira paunenge uchinyengerera, kana kushandisa bonde toyi panguva yechiito kunogona zvakare kuzadzisa chishuwo chako chekuchinja.

Bonde Nemuromo

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Pasinei nekuona kuti inonakidza, "vanhu vakawanda havafariri kuita zvepabonde nemuromo," anodaro Berman. Vanogona kunetseka nezvemaitiro avo (kana vari ivo vanoita) kana kunetseka pamusoro pekunyaradza kwavo kunokosha kwevamwe (shaya yake iri kuneta here? Ndiri kunhuwa zvakanaka here? Ndiri kutora nguva yakareba here?).

Zviedze: Kana kushushikana pamusoro pekuti "usinga zviite nemazvo" kuri kukutadzisa, Berman anokurudzira kungotarisa kumusoro pamhepo dzidziso-ungangonzwa kupusa, asi apa, ruzivo ndicho chombo chako chakanakisa. Kana iwe uchishushikana nezvekuva kumagumo ekugamuchira, kune rimwe divi, edza matanho emwana. "Tanga nekumukumbira kuti aburuke pauri kwemaminitsi matatu chete. Nguva inotevera, edza mashanu," anotsanangura kudaro. Zvadaro tarisa pakugara panguva yacho kusvika nguva yapera. Ingomuudza nezve kuyedza zvisati zvaitika, kana iye angafungidzira kuti arikuita chimwe chinhu chausingade paunomumisa, zvichikonzera kuita kunetsekana kwake.

Batanidza Panguva yeBonde

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Fungidziro yakajairika yevakadzi yaive imwe yenjodzi diki pane irondedzero-inoda kunzwa manzwiro erudo panguva yehukama hwepabonde. "Zvinosimbisa kukosha kwekubatana kwepfungwa nehukama hwepedyo," anodaro Berman. "Nekuti ini ndinogona kukupa 365 zvinhu zvekuyedza kurunga hupenyu hwako hwepabonde, asi kana iwe nemumwe wako musina kusimba kwemukati, hapana chichashanda."

Zviedze: Kuti unzwe kushushikana padhuze newaunorara naye, edza tantric bonde matekiniki, ayo anosimbisa kubaya mune iyo yemanzwiro kubatana, anodaro Berman. Chiitwa chimwechete chiri nyore: Gara wakachinjika-makumbo wakatarisana nemumwe wako, wobva waisa ruoko rwako rwerudyi pamusoro pemoyo wake. Paunenge uchitarisa mumaziso emumwe nemumwe, wiriranisa kufema kwako kune ake. "Izvi zvinokubatsira kuisa pakati, kugadzirisa pasi rese, uye kugadzira kusimba pakati pako usati waita muviri," anodaro Berman.

Ongororo ye