Alison Désir Pane Zvinotarisirwa Pamuviri uye Humai Hutsva Vs. Chokwadi

Zvemukati

• Ongororo ye

Apo Alison Désir - muvambi weHarlem Run, murapi, uye amai vatsva-aive nepamuviri, akafunga kuti angave mufananidzo wemutambi anotarisira waunoona munhau. Aimhanya nebundu rake, ofamba nechikepe mumwedzi mipfumbamwe achifarira mwana wake ari munzira, uye achifambirana nekugwinya kwake (aingobva pazvitsitsinho zveNew York City Marathon run).

Asi pese paaimhanya ari nepamuviri pake, Désir aibuda ropa musikarudzi yake uye akatopinzwa kuER nguva shoma nekuda kweizvi pakutanga kwenhumbu yake. “Zvakaitika zvakaparadza pfungwa iyi yekuti ndinogona kunge ndiri amai vakakodzera kana kuti mutambi ane pamuviri waunoona kwese kwese,” anodaro.

Mamwe matambudziko akakurumidza kuzviratidzawo: Akazopedzisira aendesa mangwanani (pamasvondo makumi matatu nemazana nhumbu) kuburikidza nechimbichimbi C-chikamu pakupera kwaChikunguru nekuti mwanakomana wake aive munzvimbo yemhepo uye aive nepreeclampsia. Uye nekuti akapedza mazuva mashoma muNeonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), haana kuwana nguva dzekubatana kana dzeganda-kuganda nemwana wake achangozvarwa- uye akanzwa kubirwa mukana wekubatana naye.

"Ndanga ndine tarisiro iyi mumusoro mangu, sekutaura kwevanhu vese, nhumbu ichave iri nguva yakanakisa muhupenyu hwako," anodaro. Pane kudaro, anoti akanzwa kurasika, kuvhiringidzika, kushaya zvekuita, uye kutya - uye senge ndiye ega ainzwa nenzira iyi.

Sezvo kupesana kwepfungwa yekusununguka kwakaramba kuchienderera, Désir akazviwana achinzwa mhosva nekusafarira kwaaiita nhumbu yake asi kuda kwaaiita mwanakomana wake. Kunzwa kwekushushikana kudenga-rocket. Ipapo, rimwe zuva, akabuda mumba, uye akashamisika: Ko mwana wake aizova nani kana akasadzoka? (Heano Zviratidzo Zvisinganyatsooneki zvePostpartum Kushungurudzika Iwe Haufanire Kurega.)

Yakanga iri nguva yekutyora-uye zvakamutungamira kuti ataure nezvekubatsira kwaaida, kunyangwe sechiremba. "Pane nuance yakawandisa irikushaikwa kana tichitaura nezve chiitiko chepamuviri," anodaro. Nepo vamwe vanhu vaine nhumbu dzakatwasuka, dzakareruka, haisiyo nyaya yemunhu wese.

Chii chinoratidzika kuva chakajairika? "Dzimwe nguva unozochida, dzimwe nguva uchavenga, uchapotsa wawaimbova, uye kune kusahadzika kukuru uye kusagadzikana," anodaro. "Hakuna vanhu vakakwana kunze uko vanotaura dzimwe nyaya dzezvazviri chaizvo. Tinofanirwa kuzvizivisa kuti kushushikana uye kushushikana zvakajairika uye kuti pane nzira dzaunokwanisa kutsungirira uye kunzwa zviri nani. Zvikasadaro, uri kungonzwa kutyisa." uye uchifunga kuti ndiwe wega urikunzwa kudai uye uchifamba nenzira ine rima. " (Yakabatana: Zvaunofanira Kuziva Nezve Kutsigira Hwako Hwepfungwa Hutano Panguva Yepamuviri uye Postpartum.)

Kubva paakava nemwanakomana wake, Désir ave kutaura nezve ruzivo rwake. MunaMay, ari kuvhurawo rwendo rwunonzi Meaning Through Movement, kusimudzira kugwinya uye hutano hwepfungwa kuburikidza nezviitiko munyika yese.

Pano, izvo zvaari kuda kuti munhu wese azive nezve chii chiri shure kweiyo firiji yekubata uye yekusununguka- kusanganisira maitiro ekuwana rubatsiro iwe rwaunoda.

Tsvaga vabatsiri vehutano vaunoda.

"Kuenda kwachiremba, vanongokupa ruzivo rwekutanga," anodaro Désir. "Vanokuudza nhamba dzako uye vanokukumbira kuti udzoke svondo rinotevera." Akawana akawedzera kutsigirwa pamoyo kuburikidza nedoula uyo akamubatsira kuti anzwisise zvaainzwa uye akamutarisa panguva yese yaaive nepamuviri. Désir akashandawo nemurapi wepanyama wepelvic floor basa. "Pasina chiremba wepanyama, ndingadai ndisina kuziva nezvenzira dzaunganyatso gadzirira muviri wako kune izvo zvauri kuda kupfuura," anodaro. (Related: Iwo Wepamusoro 5 Maekisesaizi Ese Amai-Kuva-Vanofanira Kuita)

Kunyange masevhisi aya achigona kuuya nemubhadharo wakawedzerwa, bvunza yako kambani yeinishuwarenzi yehutano izvo zvinogona kuvharwa. Mamwe maguta, kusanganisira New York City, ari kuwedzera kupa kwehutano kubvumidza mubereki wese wekutanga kuve akakodzera kugamuchira kusvika kunhanhatu dzekushanyirwa kumba kubva kunyanzvi yehutano senge doula.

Kumbira rubatsiro.

Désir anofananidza manzwiro ake epashure pokuberekwa nechamupupuri — akanzwa asingachadzoreki, achitya, achishushikana uye apererwa. Akazvirova pamusoro pazvo, zvakare, sezvo ari murapi iye. "Ini handina kukwanisa kuisa munwe wangu pairi ndodzokera kumashure ndoita divi rangu rekuongorora, 'oh, izvi ndizvo zviri kuitika izvozvi'.’

Zvinogona kunetsa kukumbira rubatsiro iwe wakajaira kuva iwe unopa rubatsiro, asi kuve amai kunoda rutsigiro. Kuna Désir, amai vake nomurume vakanga varipo kuti vataure naye pamusoro pezvaakanga achitarisana nazvo. "Murume wangu akaramba achindikurudzira kuti ndiise zviwanikwa pamwe chete ndigosvika kune mumwe munhu," anodaro. "Kuva nemumwe munhu muhupenyu hwako anogona kuva iye munzeve yako kiyi." Désir akaona kuti, kwaari, kuwedzera dosi remushonga wake kwakamubatsira zvikuru sekusangana nana chiremba wepfungwa kamwe chete pamwedzi.

Haasi amai iwe? Bvunza shamwari dzako dzakangoita vacheche kuti sei chaizvo ndizvo — kunyanya shamwari dzako 'dzakaomarara'. "Kana vanhu vakakukomberedza vasingazive zviri kuitika, zvinogona kutotyisa," anodaro Désir. (Yakabatana: 9 Vakadzi Pane Izvo Zvausingataure kune Shamwari Kubata Nekushungurudzika)

Zvidzidzise.

Kune akawanda emabhuku evana kunze uko asi Désir anoti akawana zororo rakawanda mukuverenga mabhuku mashoma nezve zvakaitika kuna amai. Vaviri vake faves? Amai Vakanaka Vane Mifungo Inotyisa: Nhungamiro Yekuporesa kune Chakavanzika Kutya kwaMai Vatsva uye Kudonhedza Mucheche uye Dzimwe Pfungwa Dzinotyisa: Kutyora Kutenderera Kwepfungwa Dzisingadikanwi muHumai naKaren Kleiman, LCSW, muvambi wePostpartum Stress Center. Vaviri vanokurukura zvakajairika 'zvinotyisa' izvo zvinogona kuitika mukuva amai vatsva- uye nzira dzekukunda nadzo.

Chenesa zvako zvemagariro feeds.

Zvemagariro midhiya zvinogona kuve zvinonyengera kana zvasvika pakubata uye kuva amai vatsva, asi Désir anoti nekutevera mamwe maakaundi (yaanoda ndi @momdocpsychology) unogona kuwana chaiyo, yakatendeka kuratidzwa kwepamuviri uye nyowani amai. Edza kubatidza zviziviso zvemafidi chaiwo uye wotarisa kumashure kuti uwane ruzivo rwakagadziridzwa pane kungotenderera nekusingaperi. (Yakabatana: Maitiro Evanhu Vezvemagariro Evanhu Anobata Sei Hako Hwepfungwa Hutano neMuviri Wemufananidzo)

Kudonha 'kunofanirwa' kubva kune rako izwi.

Zvinodzvinyirira, anodaro Désir. Izvo zvinokukiya iwe mune aya mashoma mazano eiyo humai hwakavakirwa pane izvo iwe zvawakaona. Asi kwaari? Humai 'ndozvazviri.' "Handina imwe nzira yakanaka yekuiisa kunze kwangu, nhumbu yangu nehumai inyaya yezuva nezuva," anodaro Désir. "Izvi hazvireve kuti hausi kuchengetedza mari yeramangwana kana kufunga nezve izvo zvaunotarisira kuti zvinoita, asi chaizvo izuva nezuva. Unamai haufanire kutarisa kana kunzwa neimwe nzira."

Kana iwe uchifunga kuti urikusangana nechirwere chekusagadzikana uye kusagadzikana, tsvaga rubatsiro kubva kuna chiremba wako kana kushandisa zviwanikwa kubva kune isiri purofiti Postpartum Support International senge runhare rwemahara rwekubatsira, kuwana kune nyanzvi dzenzvimbo, uye vhiki nevhiki misangano yepamhepo.

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