Zvinorevei Kuva Mudiro Wepabonde?

Zvemukati

• Chii chinonzi fluidity pabonde?
• Kuchena pabonde Sechizivikanwe vs. Chirevo
• Ndinoziva sei kuti ndine bonde fluid?
• Ongororo ye

Zvepabonde ndeimwe yeaya pfungwa dziri kubuda dzinogona kunetsa kupeta musoro wako zvachose - asi pamwe hausi kufungidzirwa ku. Sosaiti inowanzoda kudaidza zvepabonde senzira yekuona kuti ndiani ari pahukama nevamwe vese. Asi zvakadiniko kana munhu wese aigona kungoona zvavo zvebonde vasina kuzivisa pachena kuti nderudzii rwemunhu rwavanowanzo kuve?

Chokwadi, vamwe vanhu vane mukurumbira vakazivisa pachena kuti havadaro kuda kutsanangura hunhu hwavo kana kuva nahwo kuvatsanangudza. Muhurukuro ne Rinotenderera Dombo, muimbi uye munyori wenziyo St. Vincent akati, kwaari, zvese zvechikadzi uye zvebonde zvakanyorova uye rudo haruna muitiro. Sarah Paulson, mubvunzurudzo na Pride Source, akataura kuti haaregi zvaakasangana nazvo nekuzivikanwa kwemurume nemukadzi kutsanangura zvaari. Cara Delevigne akagovana neshamwari yepedyo panguva yehurukuro na Glamour kuti anofarira izwi rekuti "fluid" pane kungo pigeonholed mune chero chimiro chebonde.

Hupenyu hwakashata. Bonde nebonde uye zvinomutsa vanhu zvakashata. "Kusangana pabonde kunobvumira kushanduka nekusimudzirwa nguva dzose, ndizvo zvakaita hupombwe hwese," anodaro Chris Donaghue, Ph.D., L.C.S.W., uye munyori we Chimurenga Rudo. "Kusangana pabonde kune zvakawanda kupfuura kusarudzwa kwevakadzi chete; zvinosanganisirawo maumbirwo, saizi, maitiro, kinks, uye mamiriro."

Izvi zvese kutaura, zvepabonde hazvireve kuti zvinokodzera mubhokisi rakarongeka - kana iwo chaiwo mazita aripo mukati maro. Asi, kuita zvepabonde chinhu chipenyu, chinofema, uye chakaoma kunzwisisa. Uye ndipo panopinda mazwi ekuti “sexually fluid” uye “sexual fluidity”. Hezvino zvese zvaunoda kuti uzive kuti ugone kushandisa aya mazwi nenzira kwayo.

Chii chinonzi fluidity pabonde?

"Kuita zvepabonde kunoreva kugona kwese kunoitika mukukwezva kwepabonde, hunhu, uye hunhu pamusoro pehupenyu," anodaro Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., mumwe mutsvakurudzi kuKinsey Institute uye munyori we Ndiudze Zvaunoda. Pamwe wakamborarama kutanga kwehupenyu hwako uchikwezvwa neumwe murume kana murume, asi uzviwanire uchikwezva kune mumwe murume kana murume gare gare muhupenyu. Kuita zvepabonde kunobvuma kuti zvinogoneka kuti shanduko iyi iitike - kuti unokwanisa kukwezva kune vanhu vakasiyana uyezve kuzvizivisa kwako kunogona kuchinja nekufamba kwenguva.

Ehezve, havazi vese vanozove nerudzi urwu rwechiitiko - uyo waunokwezva panguva yehupenyu hwako haangambo shanduke."Zvatinoziva ndezvokuti zvepabonde zviripo pane zvakasiyana," anodaro Katy DeJong, mudzidzisi wepabonde uye muumbi weThe Pleasure Anarchist. "Vamwe vanhu vanoona nyika dzakasimba dzekukwezva pabonde, maitiro, uye kuzivikanwa, uye vamwe vanoona zvinokwezva uye zvishuwo zvavo semvura zhinji muzvisikwa."

Maonero ekuti ndiani anoonekwa semvura yepabonde anotsvedzawo kune woxn. Sei? “Tinogara munharaunda yemadzibaba yakatarisana nevanhurume saka tinotarisa pane zvinoda kuona murume,” anodaro Donaghue. "Isu tinoshushikana neshungu chero chinhu chepabonde chisiri chetsika kana kuti chinoita kuti tisanzwe." Ndosaka vanhu vazhinji vaine nguva yakaoma yekutenda kuti vanhu vane / ivo zvirevo vanogona zvakare kuva mvura yepabonde.

Zvakare, zvakakosha kuti unzwisise kuti kuve mvura yepabonde hakuna chinhu chakafanana nekuve mukadzi-mvura kana kuti isiri-bhinary; kunyorova kwepabonde kunoreva hunhu hwako hwepabonde (wauri kukwezvwa naye), asi hunhu hwako kana kuti munhurume zvichireva kuti ndeupi munhukadzi waunozvisarudzira.

Kunyange mazwi ekuti "zvekuita bonde" uye "zvinoyerera pabonde angaratidzika seanogona kuchinjika pakutanga kuona, pane misiyano munzira iyo vanhu vanoshandisa aya mazwi:

• Sexual fluidity inogona kushandiswa kutsanangura iyo yenguva yepakati pakati pekuita bonde iwe kwaunogona kusangana nako panguva dzakasiyana muhupenyu. Izvi hazvidzime chero hukama hwekare kana zvinokwezva uye hazvireve kuti urikunyepa kana kuyedza kuvhara hupombwe hwako.
• Sexual fluidity Unogona zvakare kutsanangura kugona kwekuchinja pabonde, kana shanduko mune zvebonde uye kukwezva, nekufamba kwenguva.
• Zvepabonde mvura, kune rumwe rutivi, inogona kushandiswa senzira yekuziva iwe pachako nenzira imwechete iyo mumwe munhu angaziva se bisexual kana pansexual.

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Kuchena pabonde Sechizivikanwe vs. Chirevo

Sezvataurwa pamusoro apa, kuyerera kwepabonde kunogona kuita senge pfungwa uye chitupa. Inogona kuva imwe kana imwe, kana zvose panguva imwe chete. Semuyenzaniso, kana iwe ukaona semurume bisexual (kana chero humwe hunhu hwepabonde) munhu, unogona kushandisa izwi iri kuratidza kuti unobvuma kuti bonde rako richiri kubuda. Sechiratidzo chinoreva kutsanangura kusanzwisisika kweiyo dzezvepabonde, izwi racho pacharo rakasviba zvine zvazvinoreva. (Yakabatana: Zvinorevei Chaizvo Kuva Queer?)

"Pfungwa yekusangana pabonde inoratidza chokwadi chekuti bonde revanhu harina kumira mushe," anodaro Lehmiller. "Uye kuti ine mukana wekuchinja." Zvino, ndiani anosangana nezvipi uye kusvika papi zvinosiyana pamunhu nemunhu. "Shanduko uye kuchinjika mukukwezva pabonde hazvireve kuti shanduko idzi zvinhu zvaunosarudza," anodaro DeJong. Hapana anosarudza kuzviita inzwa nenzira yavanoita nayo, asi ivo vanosarudza matsananguriro avanoda kutsanangura manzwiro iwayo.

Neraki, mutauro wakakomberedza hutano uri kuchinja. "Ticharamba tichiona mavara akawedzerwa kune LGBTQIA + acronym," anodaro Donaghue. Idzi inhau dzakanaka nekuti mavara (neasiri mavara) anobatsira vanhu kuti vanzwe vachionekwa nekunzwikwa. Ivo vanosimbisa zviitiko zvako uye vanokuzivisa iwe kune vamwe vanhu avo, pane imwe nguva kana imwe, vakanzwa nenzira imwecheteyo. (Yakabatana: Ese maLBBTQ + Mazwi Aunofanirwa Kuziva Kuti uve Akanaka Anobatana)

Nekudaro, nepo zvinyorwa zvine nzira yekuisa vanhu mumabhokisi nekuvarambidza, anogona zvakare kubatanidza vanhu. Kupa yako yawakagara zviitiko zita uye kutsvaga vamwe vanoenderana newe kuri kupa simba. Zvakare, "iyo pfungwa yose haifaniri kuva yakananga," anodaro Donaghue. "Munhu wese ane tsananguro yake yezvinoreva mavara aya." Zvepabonde, sezvimwe zvese, zvakavhurika.

Ndinoziva sei kuti ndine bonde fluid?

"Kana mumwe munhu akaona kuti zvishuwo zvavo uye zvinokwezva zviri kuchinja nezera uye neruzivo muhupenyu, chingave chiratidzo chekusangana pabonde, asi kwete nguva dzose," anodaro DeJong. Zvakanaka kusava nechokwadi uye kuda kuziva nezvebonde rako (chero nguva, chero chikonzero). Tinya mukati uye woongorora izvo.

Kana iwe uchinzwa sekuita bonde fluidity (kana kuita zvepabonde mvura) iri izwi raunogona kusangana naro kwemavhiki anotevera, mwedzi, makore, kana makumi emakore, wozorora nawo kwechinguva. Iwe unogona zvakare kuverenga zvakawanda nezve zvepabonde fluidity. Edza Urume hwepabonde: Kunzwisisa Rudo rweVakadzi uye Chido naLisa M. Diamond kana Kunyanya Kutwasanuka: Dzepabonde Pakati Pevarume rakanyorwa naRitch C. Savin-Williams.

Kuita bonde fluidity, sekune chero hupi hupi hutano hwepabonde, handicho chete chinhu chinoita kuti uve zvauri. Icho chidimbu chimwe - kuwedzera kune mamwe miriyoni mamwe zvidimbu - zvezvinokuita iwe, iwe. Mavara (uye asiri-mavara) anobata nzvimbo yavo mukugadzira nharaunda nenzvimbo dzakachengeteka kuti uzvizarurire kumusoro kuti uwane.

Ongororo ye