Aya Mazwi Matatu Madiki Ari Kukuita Iwe Munhu Asina Kunaka-uye Iwe Pamwe Unotaura Iwo Nguva Dzese

Zvemukati

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Hechino chimwe chinhu chinoita kuti iwe ufunge kaviri: "Ruzhinji rwekukurukurirana kweAmerica kunozivikanwa nekunyunyuta," anodaro Scott Bea, Psy.D, chiremba wepfungwa kuCleveland Clinic.

Zvine musoro. Uropi hwemunhu hune inonzi negative bias. "Tinowanzoona zvinhu zviri kutyisidzira mumamiriro edu," anodaro Bea. Zvinodzokera kunguva yemadzitateguru edu apo kukwanisa kuona kutyisidzira kwaikosha kuti tirarame.

Uye usati wataura kuti unoyedza kusanyunyuta-iwe unofungisisa, iwe unofunga zvakanaka, iwe unogara uchiedza kutsvaga izvo zvakanaka-iwe ungangove une mhosva kupfuura iwe zvaunofunga. Mushure mezvose, wakapedzisira riini kutaura izvozvo iwe had kuita chimwe chinhu? Pamwe iwe had kuenda kunotenga zvekutengesa. Kana iwe had kushanda. Pamwe iwe had kuenda kune vatezvara vako mushure mekushanda.

Musungo uri nyore isu tese tinowira mauri kubva-kune-nguva-asi ndiwo usingagone chete kuita kuti maonero edu ehupenyu awedzere bhuruu, asi zvakare anogona kukanganisa makemikari ehuropi, anodaro Bea.

Neraki, diki mutauro tweak inogona kubatsira: Panzvimbo pekutaura "ndinofanira," iti, "ndinosvika." Icho chinhu icho makambani akaita seHupenyu Hwakanaka, ayo anotumira mameseji akanaka kuburikidza nemarudzi ese ezvipfeko uye zvinhu, anokurudzira vashandi vavo uye vatengi kuita. (Inoenderana: Iyi Nzira Yekufunga Kwakanaka Inogona Kuita Kuti Kunamatira kune Hutano Tsika Kuve nyore)

Ichi ndicho chikonzero chinoshanda: "'I have ku' zvinonzwika somutoro. 'Ini tora ku' mukana," anodaro Bea. "Uye uropi hwedu hunopindura zvine simba zvikuru kumashandisiro atinoita mutauro patinotaura uye mashandisiro atinoita mutauro mupfungwa dzedu."

Mushure mezvose, paunenge uchitaura kuti unofanira kuita chimwe chinhu zvingangokubatsira kuti uzviite (unozozviita kune iyo spin kirasi, semuenzaniso), kuumba maitiro sechimwe chinhu chaunowana kuita kunobatsira kuti usendeke machiri nechido chakawedzera. (uye kukubatsira kuonga chokwadi chekuti unokwanisa kudzidzira pakutanga), anodaro Bea. "Inounza pfungwa yemukana-uye kugamuchirwa kwechiitiko, icho chine rubatsiro rwakanaka kwatiri. Ndiyo musiyano pakati pekutyisidzira uye dambudziko, "anodaro. "Vashoma vanhu vari kumirira kutyisidzira kwakanaka uye vazhinji vedu takamirira dambudziko rakanaka kana mukana." (Zvakafanana: Kufunga Kwakanaka Kunoshanda Zvechokwadi Here?)

Kunyangwe zvimwe: Matangire epfungwa anobuda, kusanganisira chimwe chinhu chinonzi kugamuchira uye kuzvipira kurapwa, tarisa pamatauro madiki emitauro senge izvi kubatsira vanhu kurova nguva dzakaoma, anodaro. Saka kunyangwe kufunga kwakanaka (uye zvese zvinouya nazvo) ndezve kufunga kwakanaka, iri zvakare nezve maitiro akanaka, ayo anogona, zvakare, kukudziridza kuonga nekuonga, kukurudzira kunyange mamwe maitiro akanaka uye, hongu, pfungwa, futi. Zvichemo kune rimwe divi? Vanogona kutisiya tichinzwa takanyanya panjodzi uye tichityisidzirwa munyika, tichiwedzera kutenderera kwekusava nehanya uye kutya.

Kusvika padanho iro, "ndinofanira" handiyo chete mutsara waunofanira kudonhedza. Bea anoti isu tinowanzozvipa chikamu nemutauro nenzira yakafara, inotsvaira iyo inowanzo kuwedzeredza. Isu tinoti: "Ndiri kusurukirwa" kana "Ini handina mufaro" maringe "ndakave nenguva dzekusurukirwa" kana "Ndakave nemazuva mashoma anosuwa nguva pfupi yadarika." Zvose izvozvo zvinogona kukanganisa mararamiro atinoita, anodaro. Nepo yekutanga ichigona kuita seyakakura-zvisingaite kurova-iyo yekupedzisira inosiya imwe nzvimbo yekuvandudza uye zvakare inopenda yechokwadi, inobatika mufananidzo wemamiriro aripo. (Zvakafanana: Zvikonzero-Zvakatsigirwa neSainzi Iwe Uri Kunyatsofara uye Utano Hwakanaka MuZhizha)

Chikamu chakanakisa nezve shanduko dzakareruka idzi? Ivo madiki-uye iwe unogona kutanga kuzviita, stat. Uyezve, vanodyidzana kubva kune mumwe nemumwe.

Anodaro Bea

Uye ndizvo chirongwa chatinogona kuwana kumashure.

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