Sei Kubvunza Zuva Rako Kana Ari "Queer Enough" Hazvina kunaka

Zvemukati

• Kufunganya Kwemazuva
• Kwete, Ini handisi "Kungovhiringidzika"
• Ongororo ye

Pandakaenda pazuva rangu rekutanga nemukadzi, ini ndaive nemakore 22. Ini ndanga ndichivhura muNew York City yezhizha, uye pazano remupangamazano, ndakaita OKCupid account pandakatanga kuongorora hupenyu hweseri kupfuura yangu Midwestern denderedzwa. .

Sezvo ndangobuda, ndakanga ndisina kunyatsogadzikana kuti nditumire meseji yekutanga, saka ndakaita chinhu icho chandinoona chinoshungurudza zvakanyanya: Ndakamirira mumwe munhu kuti anditumire meseji. Mushure memazuva mashoma, mumwe munhu akadaro, uye haana kupedza nguva achindibvunza. Isu takagadzira zuva rebhawa diki kuUpper West Side - kwete chaizvo mee mea, kunyangwe paine kushomeka kwevana nasekuru nasekuru-padhuze nepandaigara kuzhizha. (Yakabatana: Iwo Akanakisa Kudanana Mapurogiramu ehutano uye Kusimba Vanofarira)

Ndakamirira mubhawa makamanikana ndisati ndafunga kunogara panze ndopesanisa makumbo akanga adikitira neshure asati aoneka. Chinhu chekutanga chandakaona aive maoko ematatoo akafukidza maoko ake ese. Panguva iyoyo, ini ndakanga ndisina ingi ine gobvu rakasviba, rakasviba Zooey Deschanel bangs pahuma yangu. Ndakadhonza nekutya parokwe rangu dema dema reZara pandakasimuka kuti ndimumhorese, uye takaita hurukuro diki asati anditarisa kumusoro nepasi ndokutaura chimwe chinhu chakasara chimwe chete chechokwadi chandinoyeuka nezvezuva: "Saka, ungochani sei iwe-chaizvo?" (Zvakafanana: "Kubuda" Kwakavandudza Sei Utano Hwangu uye Mufaro)

Panguva iyoyo ndakanga ndisingazivi kuti ndopindura sei mubvunzo wacho. Ndakashaya kuti zvairevei, kutanga. Aida here kuti ndiburitse Kinsey Scale ndonongedzera kunhamba? Ini ndaifanirwa kumuratidzira iyo nhamba yenguva dzandakanga ndakatarisa uye kuonesazve Allison Janney / Meryl Streep kutsvoda kubva Maawa? Aida here kuti ndiende ndonoveura hafu yemusoro wangu ipapo, kupfeka peya yeBirkenstocks, uye kuzunza flannel? Kuburitsa imwe mhando yehumbowo hwehumbowo hwehupenzi hwangu hwaiita sezvisina musoro, uye ndakavhiringidzika.

Kufunganya Kwemazuva

Mumakore mashomanana akatevera, ndaitya chero nguva yandaienda kunofambidzana. Ndaizoudzwa here, nguva nenguva, kuti ndakanga ndisina kukwana? Izvo hazvina kumbobvira zvakashata senge yekutanga nguva, asi ndakaramba ndichienzanisa mumusoro mangu. Ndakashamisika kana misi yangu yaitaridzika se "queer" kupfuura zvandakaita kana kana vaizofunga kuti ruzivo rwangu uye nechitarisiko changu zvakandidzikisira. Ndaiti ndikaenda kunofambidzana uye ndainetseka zvikuru ndisati ndabuda pasuo zvokuti ndakanga ndisingatombofungi nezvokunakidzwa. (Inoenderana: Ichokwadi: Kufambidzana Mapurogiramu Haana Kukurisa Kuzviremekedza Kwako)

Shamwari dzangu zhinji dzine mhando imwechete yenyaya yekutaura nezve zuva rekutanga kana kudyidzana munharaunda yenharaunda. Kana tikapfeka zvipfeko zvinoratidzira zvevakadzi, tichiratidza sevanhukadzi, kana kuti tiri kungopinda munzvimbo itsva yekufambidzana, vanhu vanopokana nekodzero yedu munzvimbo iyoyo.

Shamwari yangu Dana akaroora mukadzi gore rakapera, uye mukadzi wake aive musikana wake wekutanga. Paakarambana nemukomana wake pakutanga kwa2017, akaseta maapps ake ekufambidzana kuvakadzi chete nekuti aisada kufambidzana nevarume panguva iyoyo. Aifara kuti aongorore chikamu chitsva chebonde rake uye kusangana nevamwe vakadzi vekumusoro. Asi misi, semazuva mazhinji echienzi anowanzoita, akawana ega chaizvo nekukurumidza. Nguva imwe neimwe, aishushikana, achizvishingisa kumibvunzo nezve nhoroondo yake yekufambidzana yaaiziva kuti yaiuya.

"Ndakatanga kunetseka pamusoro pekusave 'mushonga zvakakwana,' akandiudza. "Zvakaita sekubuda zvakare asi neshure. "Neimwe nzira, neimwe nzira, ndakazviona zvichityisa nekuti ndaisada kurambwa nenharaunda yandaiedza kubatana nayo uye kuve chikamu chavo, ndavharirwa kwenguva yakareba kudai."

Kwete, Ini handisi "Kungovhiringidzika"

Ndanga ndiri kunze kwenguva yose yandakagara muNew York. Ndine nharaunda yakakura yeshamwari dzinoshamisira, uye ndinobuda zvakakwana munzvimbo yemuno kuti ndione vanhu vamwechete nekudzokorora kumafaro (dzimwe nguva, zvinoita senge kunyange ingochani vhezheni Russian Doll) Hapana nguva zhinji apo pandinosangana nemumwe munhu mutsva anoita kuti ndinzwe kusagadzikana nezve maitiro andinozviratidza kana kubvunza kuti ndave nenguva yakareba sei ndiri "kunze." Asi pakanga paine chinguva ipapo, apo ini ndaive 23 uye ndanga ndichangoparadzanisa nemusikana wangu wekutanga, uyo aive akati wandei mabassass matatoo, refu Haim bvudzi, uye aigona kupfuura chero munhu pa L Shoko Trivia, iyo yandaifunga kuti pamwe paive nechimwe chokwadi kune ichi "kwete ngochani zvakakwana" manzwiro, uye ndakashamisika kana ndichifanira kuita zvimwe.

Ndakatanga kupfeka mamwe mabhebhi uye ndikatora mashoma flannel shati kuUniqlo iyo yandakapfeka zvine hure rotation. Uye pandakangotora tattoo, ndakaita shuwa yekuiratidza zvakanyanya sezvinobvira. Shamwari yangu Emilie anoyeuka achingoita zvimwe chete mushure mekukurukura nevanhu vakamuudza kuti "akangovhiringidzika" nekuda kwenzira yevakadzi yaakapfeka kana nhoroondo yake yekufambidzana.

"Ndakaona kuti ndanga ndichizvishandura kuyedza kuzviita kuti ndikwane mune izvo vanhu zvavanoda kuona kubva kune ngochani, uye nekudaro ndaive kure kure nezvandiri chaizvo uye kuti ndaida kuti vanhu vandione sei," akadaro.

Iyo nguva iyo iwe yaunotanga kuzviraura pachako kubva kwauri inobvumidza zvishoma yekumuka-yekufona. Ndakafarira mabhatani-ups angu matsva, uye ndakarasa zvimwe zvezvinhu zvisingafadzi muwadhiropu yangu zvaisanzwa seni. Asi pane dzimwe nguva pandinenge ndichiri kuda kupfeka gown rebhora kuti ndivhare kapeti tsvuku paMet Gala, kana kufamba ndichipinda muCubbyhole Bar yekuNew York mushure mebasa ndakapfeka rokwe rezhizha rakareruka, rine maruva. Uye chero munhu anondiita kuti ndiratidze kadhi rangu remusuwo pamusuwo haasi munhu anokodzera nguva yangu.

Ndinovimbisa kuti mukati memaminetsi mashanu ekutaurirana kwedu, handichataura nezve chinhu kunze kwekufungidzira kwangu kwepabonde naRachel Weisz, uye hauzoshamisika zvakadaro.

Ongororo ye