Nei Tichifanira Kutaura Nekutya Kwedu Rufu

Zvemukati

• "Hupenyu hwakabvunza Rufu, 'Sei vanhu vachindida asi vachikuvenga?' Rufu rwakapindura, 'Nekuti uri nhema dzakanaka uye ndiri chokwadi chinorwadza." - Munyori haazivikanwe
• Ngatitaurei nezverufu pamusoro pekofi
• Ndeipi nhoroondo yekufa, kana "nzou iri mukamuri"?
• Maitiro ekuunza nhaurwa yerufu kumba

Isu tinosanganisira zvigadzirwa zvatinofunga zvinobatsira kuvaverengi vedu. Kana iwe ukatenga kuburikidza nehukama pane ino peji, isu tinogona kuwana diki komisheni. Heano maitiro edu.

"Hupenyu hwakabvunza Rufu, 'Sei vanhu vachindida asi vachikuvenga?' Rufu rwakapindura, 'Nekuti uri nhema dzakanaka uye ndiri chokwadi chinorwadza." - Munyori haazivikanwe

Vanhu vazhinji havadi kufunga kana kutaura nezverufu. Kunyangwe zvisingadzivisike kuti mumwe nemumwe wedu achafa, kutya, kushushikana, uye kutya zvichakomberedza rufu - kunyangwe izwi roga. Tinoedza kudzivisa kufunga nezvazvo. Asi mukuita kudaro, isu tinokanganisa hutano hwedu hwepfungwa uye hwepanyama zvisina kunaka kupfuura zvatinoziva.

Iko kune kunyange izwi kwazviri: kufa kunetseka. Mutsara uyu unotsanangura kutya kunosangana nevanhu pavanoziva nezverufu.

"Pfungwa iyi," anodaro Lisa Iverach, PhD, mumwe mukuru wekutsvagisa paUniversity yeSydney, "yakavakirwa pauchapupu hwekuti rufu chinhu chakakosha pamatambudziko akanangana nekushushikana."

Kufunganya kwekufa kunogona kuve kwakazara. Kutya kwekusazivikanwa uye zvinoitika mumashure kunetsekana zviri pamutemo. Asi painotanga kupindirana nemararamiro aunoita hupenyu hwako, inova dambudziko. Uye kune vanhu vasingawani nzira dzakakodzera dzekugadzirisa, zvinokwanisika kuti kushushikana kwese kukonzere kurwadziwa kwepfungwa nekushushikana.

Iverach inoisa mashoma mashoma mamiriro ekuti kutya kwerufu kunokanganisa hupenyu hune hutano. Unogona kuziva mamwe:

• Kuparadzaniswa kunetseka kusagadzikana muvana kazhinji kunosanganisira kutya kwakanyanya kurasikirwa nevanhu vakakosha kwavari, sevabereki vavo, kuburikidza netsaona kana kufa.
• Vanomanikidza vanocheka vanodzokorora vachitarisa magetsi, zvitofu, uye kukiya mukuedza kudzivirira kukuvara kana kufa.
• Kumanikidza maoko mawashaji kazhinji anotya kubata chirwere chisingaperi uye chinotyisidzira hupenyu.
• Kutya kufa kubva pakurwara kwemoyo kunowanzo kuve chikonzero chekushanya kwechiremba kushanya kune avo vane panic kusagadzikana.
• Ivo vanhu vane somatic chiratidzo chinetso vanopinda mukuwandisa zvikumbiro zvekurapa bvunzo uye muviri kuongorora kuti vaone chakakomba kana chinouraya chirwere.
• Maphobbias chaiwo anosanganisira kutya kwakanyanya kwenzvimbo dzakakwirira, madandemutande, nyoka uye neropa, zvese izvi zvine chekuita nerufu.

“Rufu hachisi chinhu chatinowanzotaura nezvacho. Zvichida isu tese tinofanirwa kuve takasununguka kukurukura iyi ingangoita taboo musoro wenyaya. Haifanire kunge iri nzou iri mumba, "anoyeuchidza Iverach.

Ngatitaurei nezverufu pamusoro pekofi

Kutaura nezve kufa ibasa rehupenyu hwaKaren Van Dyke. Pamusoro pekuve nyanzvi yekupedzisira-ye-hupenyu chipangamazano achishanda nevakuru munzvimbo dzinobatsira dzekugara nekuchengetedza ndangariro, Van Dyke vakagamuchira yekutanga San Diego Cafe muSan Diego muna 2013. Rufu maKafesi anoshanda seane hushamwari, kugamuchirwa, uye kugadzikana nzvimbo kune avo vanoda taura pachena nezverufu. Mazhinji ari mumakamuri chaiwo kana mumaresitorendi umo vanhu vanodya nekunwa pamwechete.

"Chinangwa cheRufu Cafes ndechekurerutsa mutoro wechakavanzika chekuti chiitiko chako chingave chii kana chingave chii," anodaro Van Dyke. "Ini zvechokwadi ndinoita hupenyu zvakasiyana izvozvi, zvakanyanya munguva, uye ndinonyanya kutaura nezve kwandinoda kuisa simba rangu, uye ndiko kuwirirana kwakanangana nekugona kutaura nezverufu nerusununguko."

Uku kutaura kwerufu kune hutano zvakanyanya kupfuura mamwe maitiro nemaitiro atingave takatora kuitira kudzivirira kufa. Kuona terevhizheni, kunwa doro, kuputa fodya, uye kutenga… ko dai izvi zvaingova zvinokanganisa uye maitiro atinoita kuti tirege kufunga nezverufu? Sekureva kwa Sheldon Solomon, purofesa wezvepfungwa paSkidmore College muSaratoga Springs, New York, kushandisa maitiro aya sekukanganisa haisi pfungwa yekunze.

"Nekuti rufu inyaya isingafarirwe nevanhu vazhinji, isu tinobva tangoedza kuzvibvisa mumusoro medu nekuita zvinhu kuti tizvivhiringidze," anodaro Solomon. Tsvagurudzo yake inoratidza kuti kutya rufu kunogona kuseta maitiro, maitiro, uye maitiro anoita kunge akajairika.

Kupokana nemaitiro aya, kuve nehutano nzira uye nemaonero erufu kunogona kutanga.

Rufu Makafesi akabuda pasi rese. Jon Underwood naSue Barsky Reid vakatanga Death Cafes muLondon muna 2011 nechinangwa chekuita hurukuro pamusoro pekufa kutyisa nekuzviratidza munzvimbo dzine hushamwari. Muna 2012, Lizzy Miles akaunza yekutanga Death Cafe muUS kuColumbus, Ohio.

Zviri pachena kuti huwandu huri kukura hwevanhu hunoda kutaura pachena nezverufu. Izvo zvavanodawo inzvimbo yakachengeteka uye inokoka, inopiwa neRufu Cafes.

Ndeipi nhoroondo yekufa, kana "nzou iri mukamuri"?

Pamwe ndiko kutya kweshoko kunoripa simba.

Caroline Lloyd, uyo akatanga iyo Death Cafe yekutanga muDublin, anoti nenhaka yechiKaturike muIreland, tsika zhinji dzerufu dzakanangana nekereke netsika dzayo dzakareba dzakadai semariro nemhemberero dzechitendero. Pfungwa iyo vamwe maKaturike vaitendawo mairi ndeyekuti kuziva mazita emadhimoni yaive nzira yekubvisa simba ravo.

Ko kana, munyika yanhasi, tikashandisa nzira iyoyo kurufu? Panzvimbo pekutaura zvirevo zvakaita sekuti "kuyambuka," apfuura, "kana" kufambira mberi "uye kuzviparadzanisa nerufu, nei tisingazvigamuchire?

KuAmerica, tinoshanyira makuva. "Asi handizvo izvo munhu wese anoda," anodaro Van Dyke. Vanhu vanoda kutaura pachena - nezve kutya kwavo rufu, zvavakasangana nazvo zvekurwara zvakanyanya, vachiona kufa kwemudiwa, nedzimwewo nyaya.

Iyo Death Cafe muDublin inoitirwa mune yekudyira, yeIrish maitiro, asi hapana anodhakwa kana idzi hurukuro dzinopokana dzichiitika. Chokwadi, vanogona kuve nependi kana kunyange tii, asi vanhu vari mubhawa - vadiki nevakuru, vakadzi nevarume, vekumaruwa nemaguta - vane hunyanzvi kana zvasvika pakugadzirisa kufa. “Vanofarawo zvakare. Laugher chikamu chayo, "anowedzera Lloyd, uyo achakurumidza kutora yake yechina Death Cafe muguta guru reIreland.

Zviri pachena kuti ma cafes ari kuita basa rakanaka.

"Zvichiri zvakanyanya izvo zvinoda nharaunda," anodaro Van Dyke. "Uye, ndave nerunyararo kuti rufu ruchazoitika mushure mekuita izvi kwenguva yakareba zvakadaro." Ikozvino kune makumi maviri neshanu Rufu Cafe inomiririra muSan Diego, ese akadzidziswa naVan Dyke uye neboka iri kugovana zvakanakisa maitiro.

Maitiro ekuunza nhaurwa yerufu kumba

Nepo Rufu Makofi achiri echinyakare muU.S., dzimwe tsika dzakawanda dzakagara kwenguva refu, dzakanaka tsika dzakatenderedza kufa uye kufa.

Rev. Terri Daniel, MA, CT, vane chitupa muKufa, Kufa, uye Kufirwa, ADEC. Ndiye zvakare muvambi weRufu Kuzivisa Institute uye Mushure meMusangano Musangano. Daniel ane ruzivo mukushandisa shamanic tsika dzechinyakare tsika kubatsira kuporesa vanhu nekufambisa simba rekushungurudzika uye kurasikirwa kunze kwemuviri wenyama. Akadzidza tsika dzekufa mune dzimwe tsika futi.

MuChina, nhengo dzemhuri dzinoungana maaritari kuhama dzichangobva kufa. Izvi zvinogona kunge zvine maruva, mapikicha, makenduru, uye kunyangwe chikafu. Ivo vanosiya aya maaritari kumusoro kweinenge gore, dzimwe nguva nekusingaperi, saka mweya yeavo vakaenda vaenda navo mazuva ese. Rufu harusi rwekufunga kana kutya, chiyeuchidzo chezuva nezuva.

Danieri anodoma tsika yechiIslam semumwe muenzaniso: Kana munhu akaona vafi vachifora, vanofanira kuitevera kwematanho makumi mana ekumira nekuziva kukosha kwerufu. Anotaura zvakare nezvekuti chiHindu nechiBuddha sezvitendero uye tsika dzinoenda kunodzidzisa nekunzwisisa kukosha kwerufu uye kugadzirira kufa senzira yekujekeserwa, panzvimbo pekufunga nezverufu nekutya nekushushikana.

Kuchinja mafungiro nezverufu kuri mugariro. Kana kurarama hupenyu hwedu tichitya rufu kuchikanganisa hutano hwedu, saka tinofanirwa kuita nhamburiko yekugamuchira kufunga kwakanaka, uye hunhu nemafambiro akatenderedza musoro wenyaya. Kuchinja rondedzero nezverufu kubva mukufunganya kuenda mukugamuchirwa, kungave kuburikidza neRufu Cafes kana imwe tsika, iri danho rakanaka rekutanga pakuvhura hurukuro. Zvichida mushure meizvozvo, tinogona kukumbundira pachena uye kupemberera kufa sechikamu chehupenyu hwedu hwevanhu.

Stephanie Schroeder iguta reNew York-Akavakirwa freelance munyori uye munyori. Mumiriri wehutano hwepfungwa uye muratidziri, Schroeder akaburitsa memoir yake, "Yakanaka Kuparara: Bonde, Manyepo & Kuzviuraya," muna 2012. Parizvino arikugadzira anthology "HEADCASE: Vanyori veLGBTQ nevanyori veMental Health uye Wellness," iyo icha ichaburitswa neOxford University Press mu2018 / 2019. Unogona kumuwana pa Twitter pa @ StephS910.