Maitiro Ekunyatso Kudzoreredza Mushure megore Rinotyisa Chairo

Zvemukati

• Kana Wakarasikirwa Newaunoda
• Kana Wakarasikirwa Nebasa Rako
• Kana Wakave Nedambudziko MuParadhiso
• Kana Iwe Wakatambura Hutano Hwakadzikama
• Kana Iwe Uri Kutatarika kubva mune Zvematongerwo enyika uye Kutambura Rudzi, Bonde, kana General Bigotry
• Ongororo ye

2016 yaive yemhando yekuipisisa-ingotarisa chero chero Internet meme. Pazasi, vazhinji vedu sezvingabvira taifanira kutsungirira rudzi rwakati rwepfungwa dzakaipa—kurambana, kurasikirwa nebasa, kufirwa, zvichida kunyange kutya utano. (Zvakanaka hazvidzivisiki mugore ripi zvaro.) Wedzera kune izvozvo mamiriro ezvematongerwo enyika asina kunaka anotyisa mose mhiri kwemakungwa uye munyika yedu uye vazhinji vedu tiri kupera gore rino tichinzwa kuodzwa mwoyo, kushungurudzwa, uye kungoneta mupfungwa.

Gore Idzva, zvakadaro, mucherechedzo wakanaka kupukuta rurefu, tura mweya, uye fambira mberi nehupenyu hwako. Asi ungaita sei kuti utangezve shure kwezviitiko zvinoodza moyo zvakadaro? Takataura kune vashoma vehunyanzvi kuti vagadzirise zvese zvikonzero 2016 inogona kunge yakasiya yako yemanzwiro ekuchengetedza mapfupa akaoma-uye chaizvo maitiro aunogona kugadzirisa zvakare uye unzwe kugadzirira kubata 2017 nemusoro wako wakasimudzwa kumusoro uye moto uzere murazvo.

Kana Wakarasikirwa Newaunoda

Muna Kukadzi, vanachiremba vakaudza hanzvadzi yaSarah kuti gomarara repazamu rakanga rapera. Pakazosvika zhizha, mamota akange akunda. “Kurasikirwa naye ndicho chinhu chakaoma zvikuru chandati ndambotarisana nacho,” anodaro Sarah, ane makore 34, anobva kuAtlanta*. "Panguva iyoyo, pachokwadi handina kufunga kuti ndaizozvigona kunyangwe nebasa rekuviga. Uye ndiri pano, mwedzi yakati gare gare, ndichiri kushamisika kuti ndinofanirwa kushanda sei negomba guru iri muhupenyu hwangu."

Hapana nzira yekudzima marwadzo ekurasikirwa nenhengo yemhuri yako, anodaro Ben Michaelis, Ph.D., chiremba wepfungwa, uye munyori we Chinhu Chako Chinotevera Chikuru: Matanho Madiki gumi eKufamba uye Kufara. Asi vanhu vane simba rakanyanya kupfuura ravanofunga uye vanokwanisa kugadzirisa mamiriro akaomesesa kana vakaaisa zvakanaka, anowedzera.

Izvo zvinoenda pakurasikirwa zvinopfuura vanhu chete muhupenyu hwako. "2016 yanga yakandiomera nekuti takarasikirwa nekatsi mbiri mumasvondo maviri," anodaro Bailey, 26, anobva kuFairfax, VA. "Semunhu ari ega nguva yese nekatsi, zvainyanya kurwadza moyo."

"Kana iwe wakasangana nekurasikirwa gore rino-shamwari, nhengo yemhuri, kana chipfuwo-zvinobatsira kuisa kurasikirwa mumamiriro ezvinhu uye nekutenda nekuve nemunhu iyeye kana chipfuwo muhupenyu hwako," Michaelis anopa.

Kutanga, iwe unofanirwa kumaka kurasikirwa kuburikidza nechimwe chiitiko kana tsika, kazhinji mariro, asi zvakare chimwe chinhu chemhemberero sekubatidza kenduru mukukudzwa kwake. Tevere, bvuma basa remunhu iyeye kana kuti chipfuwo muhupenyu hwako nekuita chimwe chinhu chingave chine musoro kwavari: chiitiko chekugovana, kuongorora zvinhu zvavakakusiira, kuenda kuburikidza nemifananidzo.Wobva wafunga kuti ungaenderera sei kuva nemunhu iyeye zuva nezuva. Semuenzaniso, kana mudiwa wako aive wezvematongerwo enyika, unogona kupa kune zvikonzero zvaireva chimwe chinhu kwaari. "Izvi zvinobvumira kurasikirwa kupora uye kuti iwe ukure chinhu chakanaka kubva pakuziva kwavo," Michaelis anodaro.

Kana Wakarasikirwa Nebasa Rako

Mushure mekuva pazororo rekuzvara, Shana, ane makore makumi matatu nematatu kubva kuRockville, MD, akadzokera kubasa muna Ndira akagadzirira kurova pasi. Panzvimbo iyoyo, chinzvimbo chake chakabviswa mwedzi mitatu yekushushikana gare gare uye anga asiri pabasa kubvira ipapo. "Ndakanga ndine matani ekubvunzurudza, asi kusvika ikozvino, hapana zvipo. Ndinoramba ndichisvika kumativi ekupedzisira asi ndinorasikirwa kune mumwe munhu ane ruzivo rwakawanda kana kuti anoda kutora mari shoma. Ndine manzwiro anopedzwa nekurambwa kwose, " anoti.

Kuramwa basa kuri kubhadhara mutero zvakakomba nekuti kurova kukuru kwako kuzvivimba uye pfungwa yekukosha, anodaro Kathy Caprino, murairidzi wemabasa evakadzi uye musimudziri wehutungamiriri muNew York City. "Zvinorwadza zvikuru uye zvinoodza mwoyo kuva panzvimbo yekugamuchira yeane masimba achitiudza kuti hatichakosheswi, hatichadiwi, kana kukosha mukambani. Uye zvinorwadza kuti hatina kuona izvi zvichiuya uye kubuda nekukurumidza. "

Ndiwo chaiwo manzwiro aiita Lauren, 32, anobva kuIndipolis, paakadzingwa pabasa rake ramakore gumi nerimwe muzhizha rino. Asi Caprino anonongedzera kuti kazhinji izvo zvaunonzwa iko kukuvadza kunoparadza, muchokwadi, chichava chiitiko chinokusunungura iwe. Inogona kukubatsira kuti uwedzere kujekesa nezve izvo zvinonyanya kukosha muhupenyu hwako.

Kurwira kukuru kwaLauren izvozvi, zvakadaro, kuri kupora kubva mukuvimba kwake kwakazungunuswa. Caprino anokurudzira kushandisa iyo nyowani slate ya2017 kuvaka patsva-kuzvivimbisa kubva pasi kumusoro.

Kutanga, funga izvo zvinoita iwe unokosha, wakakosha, uye wakasarudzika, Caprino anopa zano. Wobva wafunga nezve izvo zvakauya zviri nyore kwauri iwe semwana uye mudiki mukuru. "Aya matarenda ako echisiko uye zvipo zvauchazoda kushandisa zvine simba muhupenyu hwako uye nekushanda," Caprino anowedzera. Chekupedzisira, funga makumi maviri asingarambike, chokwadi chisingarambiki chezvawakaita nekuzvikudza, kuwana, uye kubatsira muhupenyu hwako nebasa. "Kana iwe uchikwanisa kuona nekutaura zvinesimba pamusoro pezvakakosha zvipo zvawakaita uye nei zvichikosha, unozotanga kukwezva mikana yakawanda," anodaro Caprino.

Kana Wakave Nedambudziko MuParadhiso

Kurambana kunogara kuchinetesa mupfungwa. Asi pavanouya nemagweta uye kutambanudza pamusoro pemwedzi, vanogona kunge vachipererwa. Ingobvunza Whitney, ane makore makumi mashanu nemashanu ekuberekwa kubva kuMissoula, MT, uyo apedza chikamu chekupedzisira cha2016 achirwa nemurume waaida kwemakore makumi matatu mukurambana kwenguva refu.

"Kurambana kunogona kukuvadza pamatanho mazhinji," anodaro Carrie Cole, LPC, director director weThe Gottman Institute. Pane pfungwa yekurasikirwa yatinoda kushandisa nguva tichichema-iko chaiko kwakaputsika kwekubatirana kwetsinga kwatinoda kurega kuchiporesa, nekukuvadza kuzviremekedza kwatinofanira kuvaka zvakare.

Imwe yedzakanakisa nzira dzaungagadzirise: Tora nguva pakutanga kwa2017 kuti utarise zvawanga uri uye zvausina mhosva nazvo. "Vamwe vanhu vanozvishora pamatambudziko ese ehukama, nepo vamwe vachipomera mudiwa wavo nezvese-asi hapana kana chokwadi," Cole anotsanangura. (Onawo: 5 Hutano Tsika dzekukuita iwe kuburikidza nekurambana)

Uye bhururuka uri wega kwechinguva. Kutsvaga hukama hutsva inzira yekurarama yekudzivirira manzwiro asina kunaka, asi mikana urikutarisa mireza mitsvuku mishoma uye, kana hukama uhwu hwapera, huipi hwepamoyo hunotonyanya, anotsanangura.

Pane kudaro, ita mazuva newe uye neavo vawaregeredza. "Vakadzi vazhinji vanosiya zvimwe zvavanoda kuve muhukama nemumwe munhu. Uyezve, hukama hunotora nguva yako yakawanda, saka unogona kuzviwana warasikirwa nehukama nehama neshamwari," anodaro Cole. Batana zvekare nezviitiko uye nevanhu zvinoita kuti ufare uye izvo zvinoita kuti hupenyu hwako huve nechinangwa. Pashure pezvose, hapana imwe nzira iri nani yokuziva nayo kuti upenyu hwako huchava hwakanaka-kana husiri nani-usina iye pane kutanga kunakidzwa kwawakarasikirwa nako mukati menguva yenyu mese.

Zvichida zvakanyanya kuoma pane kuve nyowani kunze kwehukama hune matambudziko, zvakadaro, kuchiri kupfugama-kwakadzika mune imwe. "Pakutanga kwegore, ini ndakatanga hukama neyakaomarara, chii-ini-ikozvino-ndaziva-kuva-akashushikana muzivi ane zvakawanda zvemukati mikwende. Tichiri pamwe nekuti ini handigoni kurega kuva nehanya naye Asi pashure pemwedzi minomwe, ndichiri kunzwa sokuti tiri kungogara tichingotanga, uye manzwiro ake anoita kuti ndisanyanya kunetseka, ndinoshayiwa, uye ndinzwe pfungwa,” anodaro Michelle, ane makore 32, wokuQuito, Ecuador.

Cole anoti haufanire kuedza kungo pukuta slate yakachena neSO yako, asi panzvimbo pazvo bhatisa bhatani rekumisikidza pahunhu hwako. "Nzira yakanakisa yekunzwisisa zvaitika ndeyekuti mumwe nemumwe wako achinjana kutaura nezvekunzwa kwauya, izvo zvingangodaro zvakakonzerwa nezvakaitika kare, kuti mumwe nemumwe anotenda sei kuti vakabatsira padambudziko iri, uye kuti mumwe nemumwe angazviita sei zvirinani nguva inotevera , "Cole anopa. Paunenge waisa zvese patafura, iwe unoziva hunhu iwe iwe pachako hwaunoda kuti uve nani nezvazvo uye unogona kutanga kutarisira kumberi muhukama.

Kana Iwe Wakatambura Hutano Hwakadzikama

Kunyangwe iwe wapedza gore rese uchipora kubva pakurwara kwakakomba saCrohn kana kugunun'una, kana iwe uchangobva kumanikidza musana wako wepakati pekurovedza muviri, kune hukuru hwekutambudzika kwekushushikana.

Nei iri yakaoma kudaro? Hausi iwe chete wakaremara kubva mukuita bhizinesi senguva dzose, asi kukuvara zvakare chiyeuchidzo chekufa kwedu, izvo zvinotungamira kune angangoita mamwe manzwiro ekusuwa kana kushushikana, Michaelis anodaro. Uye kana iwe uri gal wakakodzera, kuve wakadzoserwa panzira yako yekurovedza muviri ndeimwe gomo raunofanira kugadzirisa mupfungwa.

Ingobvunza Suzanne, ane makore makumi mashanu nerimwe anogara muParis, uyo akabvarura tsandanyama zvachose pahudyu yake achitamba pamuchato wemwanakomana wake wekurera. "Izvi zvisati zvaitika, ndakamhanya, ndikaita maPilates, uye ndaidzidzira yoga maawa gumi pasvondo. Zvino, mushure memavhiki matanhatu ndisingagone kubva pamba, ndinogona kungofamba makiromita mashoma pazuva. Ndakawana mapaundi gumi, ndakarasikirwa nemaawa ebasa seyangu munyori, uye ndaifanira kukanzura mazororo maviri nekushanyira vana vangu, vanogara kure nekumba, "anodaro.

Saka unoisa sei danho iri rekusuwa shure kwako? Gadza mwana-nhanho kupora zvinangwa. "Kuedza kubva pazero kuenda kune hero mukubwaira kweziso kunogona kutungamirira kune mamwe manzwiro ekusuwa uye kuzvidya mwoyo, uye kana iwe usina kugadzirira, zvinogona kutungamirira kune chimwe chigumbuso," Michaelis anotsanangura. Isa zvibodzwa zviri pamberi zvishoma paunofunga kuti uri munzira yehutano, wobva wapemberera kuhwina kwese.

Kana Iwe Uri Kutatarika kubva mune Zvematongerwo enyika uye Kutambura Rudzi, Bonde, kana General Bigotry

"2016 yandishungurudza zvakanyanya nemhuri yangu, baba vangu kunyanya," anodaro Lisa, ane makore makumi maviri nemapfumbamwe wekuAtlanta. "Nekuda kwesarudzo uye kufamba kweNhema Hupenyu Nyaya, anga achituka marudzi. Asi murume wangu mutema uye vana vangu vari vemarudzi ese. Zvave zvakaipa." (Yakabatana: Kusarura Kunokanganisa Sei Hutano Hwako Pfungwa)

Mazano aMichaelis? Takura pasi uye uve neiyi ingangoita hasha uye inoshungurudza hurukuro yekuti nei iwo maonero avo anokuvadza iwe. "Bata navo. Edzai kunzwisisa maonero emumwe nomumwe. Vanhu vazhinji vanonzwisisa uye vanogona kunzwisiswa kana iwe uchionga zviri kuitika muupenyu hwavo, "anodaro. Kana iri mhuri yako, rudo rwaunozvarwa narwo ruchakutendera kuti, padiki, ubvume kusabvumirana. Asi kana iri hurukuro isina zvibereko uye kurwadziwa uye kuomesera kwakaomarara kuchienderera, inogona kunge iri nguva yekuwongorora zvakare basa rinoitwa nehukama hwako muhupenyu hwako.

Asi iwe unoitei kana ruvengo ruchiita kunge rwakakukomberedza?

"[Zvinhu zvakawanda zviri kubhadharisa zvakaitika gore rino, asi] hapana chakandinetsa nenzira yesarudzo. Ndakanga ndichifarira Hillary .... Uye zvino ndiri kurarama munyika umo vanhu vanofunga kuti zvakanaka kuti vaise maoko avo pavakadzi, kana maMuslim, kana chero munhu anotaridzika zvakati siyanei nezvavari. Ini ndaora moyo, uye ndaneta, uye ndaneta, "anodaro Brittany, 26, weLacey, WA.

Kuzvipira uye kubatanidzwa kunogona kubatsira kuunza nyaradzo uye kuporeswa, anodaro Sairey Luterman, certified thanatologist, uye muridzi weSairey Luterman Grief Support muLexington, MA. Ipa kumasangano anozotambura zvakanyanya mumakore mana anotevera, sePlanner Parenthood, kana sarudza imwechete kana maviri madireti ekuzvipira nguva yako (kuti ugone kubatsira kugadzira shanduko). Uye funga kushanda munharaunda, nekuti zvinokuisa munharaunda yevanhu vane pfungwa dzakafanana uye zvinokuyeuchidza vamwe kunzwa zvakafanana, anowedzera.

Jan, ane makore makumi mana nemana ekuberekwa muNew Orleans, anoenderana nemaonero aBrittany kune vanhu vane ruvara. "Gore rino rakaunza manzwiro ekurwisa-vatema kwakawanda muchiedza-zvese nemazwi. Zviri pachena kuti isu tichiri kurwisana nekusarura kwakafanana kubva makore anoda kusvika mazana mana apfuura-uye izvo zvinonetesa mweya kumukadzi mutema."

Chinhu chakanyanya kukosha kurangarira ndechekuti kunyangwe zvese zvauri kunzwa izvozvi ruvengo, kune vanhu vazhinji vanosheedzera rudo nekugamuchirwa. Kana iwe uchigara mune chikamu chenyika icho chisingagovane nemaonero ako ezvematongerwo enyika, funga kutanga boka rekutsigira revanhu vane mafungiro akafanana, Luterman anokurudzira. Hazvidi kuti zvive zvakanyanyisa-zvichida ishamwari shanu uye bhodhoro rewaini, kana Svondo brunch kamwe chete pamwedzi. "Chiito chinogona kana kusabuda machiri, asi tese tichada rutsigiro kubva kune mumwe nemumwe mumazuva ari mberi, kupfuura nakare kose," anowedzera.

*Mazita akachinjwa.

Ongororo ye