Kudzokera Kuzvida NeBonde Mushure meMiscarriage

Zvemukati

• Kurwisana neKutsamwa uye Mhosva
• Kana Ichipfuurirazve Muhukama
• Kuvakazve Kuzvida uye Hukama Hwerudo
• Kutora Zuva Rimwe panguva
• Ongororo ye

Amy-Jo, makumi matatu, haana kucherechedza kuzorora kwake kwemvura - aingova nepamuviri-masvondo-gumi nepamuviri. Kwapera vhiki, akabereka mwanakomana wake, Chandler, uyo asina kurarama.

"Yakanga iri nhumbu yangu yekutanga, saka ndakanga ndisingazive [kuti mvura yangu yakanga yatsemuka]," anodaro Chimiro.

Yakanga yakanyorwa nehunyanzvi kupfupfudzika kwepiri-trimester, kunyangwe Amy-Jo anoti haakoshese zita iri. "Ini birthed iye, "anotsanangura. Iko kunoshungurudza kuzvarwa kusati kwasvika nguva uye kurasikirwa kwemwana wake wekutanga kwakachinja manzwiro aaiita pamusoro pemuviri wake uye hunhu hwake hwekuzvibata, anotsanangura. Kuparadzana:

"Wechipiri aive abuda mumuviri wangu, muviri wangu wakashama, uye neizvozvo, ndakazvidza moyo," anodaro Amy-Jo, anogara kuNiceville, Florida. "Ndakatendeukira mukati, asi kwete nenzira ine utano, ndichizvidzivirira. Ndakanga ndichizvirova. Ndakanga ndisingazive sei? Muviri wangu waigona sei kunge usina kumuziva uye kumudzivirira? Ndichiri kufanira kusundira [pfungwa] kunze kwangu. musoro kuti muviri wangu wakamuuraya. "

Kurwisana neKutsamwa uye Mhosva

Amy-Jo haasi ega; vapesvedzeri vehutano, vatambi, uye vane mukurumbira vakaita saBeyoncé naWhitney Port vese vakagovana zviitiko zvavo zvakaoma zvekubva pamuviri paruzhinji zvakare, zvichibatsira kuratidza kuti zvinowanzoitika.

Muchokwadi, inofungidzirwa 10-20 muzana yemimba yakasimbiswa inopera mukupererwa nepamuviri, mazhinji acho anoitika mune yekutanga trimester, sekureva kweMayo Clinic. Asi kufanana kwekurasikirwa kwepamuviri hakuiti kuti ruzivo ruve nyore kutsungirira. Zvidzidzo zvakaratidza kuti vakadzi vanogona kusangana nezvakanyanya kusuwa zvikamu mushure memwedzi mitanhatu mushure mekusangana nepamuviri uye kuti 1 muvakadzi gumi vane ruzivo rwekurasikirwa nepamuviri vachasangana nematanho ekudzvinyirira kukuru. Mumwe anonzi 74 muzana yevanopa hutano vanofunga "kutsigirwa kwepfungwa kunofanirwa kupihwa zvichitevera kupererwa nemimba," asi chete muzana muzana ndivo vanotenda kuti kutarisirwa kuri kupihwa zvakakwana kana zvachose.

Uye nepo munhu wese achizobata nekuparara nenzira dzakasiyana, vanhu vazhinji vanotaura vachinzwa hasha dzakadzama kumiviri yavo. Izvi, muchidimbu, zvinogadzirwa nepfungwa inonyengera yekuzvipa mhosva vakadzi vazhinji vanonzwa mushure mekubva pamuviri. Kana tsika ikaputira vakadzi (kunyangwe pazera diki kwazvo) neshoko rekuti miviri yavo "yakaitwa" kuti ive nevana, chimwe chinhu chakajairika sekurasikirwa nepamuviri chinogona kunzwa sekutengeswa kwepanyama - kukanganisa kwemunhu kunogona kutungamira mukuzvivenga uye zvemukati-zvinonyadzisa.

Megan, ane makore makumi matatu nemana, anobva kuCharlotte, North Carolina, anoti pfungwa dzake dzekutanga mushure mekubvisa pamuviri pachikamu chekutanga ndechekuti muviri wake "wamutadza". Anoti akajeka pamibvunzo yakadai sekuti, 'sei izvi zvisina kundishandira' uye 'chii chakaipa pandiri kuti handikwanise kutakura nhumbu iyi?' anotsanangura. "Ndinonzwa senge ndichiri nemanzwiro iwayo, kunyanya sezvo ndaive nevanhu vazhinji vachindiudza kuti, 'Ah, mushure mekurasikirwa unowedzera kubereka' kana 'Ndakave nepamuviri wangu unotevera mavhiki mashanu ndarasikirwa.' "Zvino mwedzi payakasvika uye ikaenda [uye ini ndakanga ndisingakwanise kubata pamuviri], ndakanzwa kuora moyo uye kunyengerera zvekare."

Kana Ichipfuurirazve Muhukama

Kugumbuka uko vakadzi vanogona kunzwa kumiviri yavo mushure mekubva pamuviri kunogona kukanganisa zvakanyanya uye zvakashata kuzviremekedza kwavo, pfungwa yekuzvida, uye kugona kunzwa vakasununguka uye nehukama hwepedyo nemudiwa. Kana mukadzi akambotambura nepamuviri achidzokera maari, izvo zvinogona kukanganisa hukama hwavo uye kugona kuvhurika, kutambura, uye kudyidzana nevavanodanana navo.

"Murume wangu aingoda kugadzirisa zvese," anodaro Amy-Jo. "Aingoda kumbundira nekumbundira uye ini ndaive senge, 'Kwete. Sei uchindibata? Sei uchibata izvi?'"

SaAmy-Jo, Megan anoti pfungwa iyi yekutengesa muviri yakakanganisa kugona kwake kunzwa padhuze neumwe wake. Mushure mekunge apihwa mwenje girini nachiremba wake kuti atange kuyedza kubata nhumbu futi, anoti vakanzwa kusungirwa kupfuura kufarira bonde - uye panguva yese iyi, akatadza kujekesa pfungwa dzake kwenguva yakareba kuti azvibvumire kuti ave akazara kudanana nemurume wake.

"Ndakanga ndichinetseka kuti aifunga, 'Zvakanaka, dai ndaive nemumwe munhu akasiyana pamwe vangatakura mwana wangu kuenda kugumi' kana 'chero chaakaita, [ndicho chikonzero] mwana wedu haana kuramba achirarama," anotsanangura. "Ndanga ndichive nepfungwa dzese idzi dzisina musoro idzo, pachokwadi, anga asiri kufunga kana kunzwa. Zvichakadaro, ini ndanga ndichiri kuzvitaurira 'iyi imhosva yangu yese. Tikabata pamuviri futi zviri kungoitika futi," anotsanangura.

Uye nepo vasiri-vakadzi vavakaroorana navo kazhinji vachishuva kudanana kwepanyama mushure mekurasikirwa senzira yekubatanidzwazve nevavanodanana navo, kurova kune mukadzi pfungwa yekuzvibata uye muviri muviri kunoita post-kusununguka kwepabonde kubvisa-kuisa, kutaura zvishoma. Kudambura uku - kana kusingarwisane nekutaurirana zvine hungwaru uye, muzviitiko zvakawanda, kurapwa - kunogona kuumba kusawirirana muhukama izvo zvinoita kuti zviomere zvakanyanya kuti vakaroorana vapore sevanhu uye sevanodanana.

Chidzidzo chakaburitswa mu Psychosomatic Medicine vakawana kuti nepo makumi matanhatu neshanu evakadzi "vakasangana padyo nehukama muhukama hwavo hwevaviri [nekukurumidza] mushure mekubva pamuviri," nhamba iyoyo yakaderera zvakanyanya nekufamba kwenguva, iine 23 muzana chete vachiti vanonzwa kuswedera padhuze nepakati uye pabonde gore mushure mekurasikirwa. Chidzidzo che2010 chakabudiswa mumagazini Pediatrics vakawana kuti vakaroorana vakabvisa pamuviri vane mukana we 22 muzana wokurambana kupfuura avo vakabudirira kubata pamuviri. Ichi chikamu nokuti varume nevakadzi vanowanzoshungurudza kurasikirwa kwepamuviri zvakasiyana-zvidzidzo zvakawanda zvakaratidza kuti kushungurudzika kwevarume hakusi kwakanyanya, hakugari kwenguva refu, uye hakusi kufambidzana nemhosva iyo vakadzi vakawanda vanonzwa mushure mekuita pamuviri. kurasikirwa.

Izvi hazvireve kuti munhu wese anowana nhumbu haadi bonde kana kuti anofanira kushanda kuburikidza neshungu kuti anzwe akagadzirira kusangana panyama nemumwe wake. Mushure mezvose, hapana imwe nzira - ndoda nzira "chaiyo" yekuita pakubviswa pamuviri kana kurasikirwa nepamuviri. Amanda, makumi mana nerimwe, amai vevana vaviri vanogara kunze kweBaltimore, Maryland, anoti akange agadzirira kuita bonde mushure mekubvisa pamuviri kakawanda, uye mumwe wake achida zvimwe chetezvo zvakamubatsira kuti apore.

"Ndainzwa kunge ndanga ndakagadzirira kuita bonde zvekare ipapo," anodaro. "Uye nekuti murume wangu aida kurara neni futi, zvakagonesa kuti ini ndichiri ini semunhu uye handina kutsanangurwa nezviitiko izvi, zvairwadza sezvazvaive."

Asi kana iwe uchiita bonde post-kusununguka, zvakakosha kuti utarise kuti sei. Amy-Jo anoti mushure menguva yekuchema "akabatidza switch" ndokuuya kumurume wake zvine hukasha, akagadzirira kuedza kubata pamuviri zvakare.

"Ini ndanga ndakangofanana, 'hongu, ngatiitei imwe. Ngatizviitei,'" anotsanangura. "Bonde rakanga risisanakidze nekuti ndaiva nepfungwa yekuti, 'Ini handisi kuzokundikana panguva ino.' Murume wangu paakangobata, akabva angoti, 'tinofanira kutaura nyaya iyi.Hazvina hutano kuti ude kurara neni uchingoda. gadzirisa chimwe chinhu.

Uye ndipo apo kuchema kwakafanira, kugarisana, uye kurukurirano—zvese munhu mumwe nomumwe uye nomudiwa—zvinouya. (Zvakafanana: James Van Der Beek Anogovera Chikonzero Nei Tichida Imwe Temu ye“Miscarriage” In a Powerful Post)

Kuvakazve Kuzvida uye Hukama Hwerudo

Kurasikirwa kwepamuviri kunoonekwa sechiitiko chinotyisa chehupenyu, uye kushungurudzika kwakapoteredza chiitiko ichocho kunogona kuoma. Imwe ongororo yegore ra2012 yakawana kuti vamwe vakadzi vanochema kupfupfudzika kwavo kwemakore mushure mekuitika uye vakaratidza kuti, nekuti varume nevakadzi vanochema zvakasiyana, kusanganisira iye asiri mukadzi ane pamuviri mukuchema kunokosha. Vakaroorana vasati vafunga kusvetuka kuti varare zvakare, vanofanirwa kuchema pamwechete.

Imwe nzira yekuita izvi ndeyokushandisa nzira yenyaya yekubereka, nzira inowanzoshandiswa nevarapi uye nyanzvi dzehutano hwepfungwa dzine varwere vari mumamiriro ezvinhu aya. Ivo vanowanzokurudzirwa kurondedzera uye kushanda kuburikidza nemafungiro avo akange aripo emhuri, kubereka, kubata pamuviri, uye kubereka-maitiro avaitenda kana kufungidzira kuti zvese zvichaitika. Zvino, ivo vanokurudzirwa kutarisa pamusoro pekuti chokwadi chakatsauka sei kubva pachirongwa chekutanga ichi, kuti vafunge kupfuura zvinangwa zvekuberekesa, vagone kutsungirira kushungurudzika kwavo uye nekushungurudzika kupi, uye vozoziva kuti ivo ndivo vari kutonga yavo nyaya uye vanogona kuinyora patsva sezvavanoenda mberi. Pfungwa ndeye kudzorerazve zano: Kurasikirwa hazvireve kupera kwenyaya, asi asi shanduko murondedzero inogona kukonzeresa kutanga kutsva.

Zvikasadaro, kutaurirana, nguva, uye kutsvaga zvimwe zviitiko zvisingabatanidze bonde zvakakosha mukumisazve pfungwa yako pachako, kuzviremekedza, nekubatana mushure mekurasikirwa. (Zvakafanana: 5 Zvinhu Zvinofanirwa Kuzivikanwa Nemunhu wese Nezvebonde uye Hukama, Maererano neMurapi)

"Kubva pakurasikirwa kwangu, ndanga ndichizvidira mumhuri yangu, basa rangu, uye ndichirovedza muviri kuzviyeuchidza kuti muviri wangu unogona kuita zvinhu zvikuru," anodaro Megan. "Muviri wangu unondimutsa mangwanani ega ega, uye ndakagwinya uye ndakasimba. Ndiri kuzvirangaridza zvandingaite uye zvandakaita nehupenyu hwangu kusvika parizvino."

Kuna Amy-Jo, kupedza nguva nemumwe wake nenzira dzisiri dzepabonde kwakamubatsira iye nemurume wake kunakidzwa nehukama hwakanga husiri hwakazara pakuyedza kubata pamuviri kana kugadzirisa chaakaona kuti "chakatyoka."

"Chakazotisvitsa ipapo kwaive kuita zvinhu pamwe chete izvo zvisiri bonde," anodaro. "Kungova pamwe chete uye takasununguka takatarisana - zvaive senge izvi zvishoma zvekungova isu pachedu uye pamwe chete uye kusave vehukama zvinotungamira kune vehukama hwepabonde nenzira yakajairika, yepanyama. Kumanikidzwa kwaive kwabviswa uye ini ndakanga ndisiri musoro wangu nezvekuti ndigadzirise chimwe chinhu, ini ndaingove mune iyo nguva uye ndakazorora. "

Kutora Zuva Rimwe panguva

Zvakakoshawo kuyeuka kuti manzwiro aunoita pamusoro pemuviri wako anogona uye pamwe anozoshanduka zuva nezuva. Amy-Jo asununguka mwana wake wechipiri, mwanasikana, uye kushungurudzika kwakatenderedza chiitiko ichocho-mwanasikana wake akaberekwa mavhiki gumi nemashanu nguva isati yakwana-akaunza imwe nyaya nyowani ine chekuita nekugamuchirwa kwemuviri uye kuzvida izvo zvaachiri kugadzirisa. (Zvimwe pano: Madzidzisiro Andakaita Kuvimba NeMuviri Wangu Zvakare Mushure meMimba)

Nhasi, Amy-Jo anoti "akafanana" nemuviri wake, asi haana kudzidza kunyatsouda zvakare. "Ndiri kusvika ikoko." Uye sezvo hukama ihwohwo nemuviri wake uchiramba uchichinja, saizvozvowo, hukama hwake nemumwe wake nehupenyu hwavo hwepabonde. Zvakawanda sekubata nhumbu pachayo, zvinowanzotora nguva uye rutsigiro kujairana neiyo itsva "yakajairwa" inotevera kurasikirwa kusingatarisirwe.

Jessica Zucker inyanzvi yepfungwa yeLos Angeles-yakavakirwa pahutano hwekubereka, musiki we #IHadaMiscarriage mushandirapamwe, munyori we NDAKAITA MISCARRIAGE: Memoir, a Movement (Feminist Press + Penguin Random House Audio).

Ongororo ye