Mibvunzo 8 Yekubvunza Usati Warara Naye

Zvemukati

• Wakaedzwa here?
• Wakaroorwa here?
• Unoda Basa Rako Here?
• Nice Mota! Ndo Izvo Zvaunoshandisa Kuti Utore Chick?
• Uri Shamwari neEx Yako?
• Zuva reMvudzi rakashata, Huh?
• Ndezvipi Zvandinotarisira?
• Ndiri Okay Kusazombomuonazve?
• Ongororo ye

Kunyangwe izvo izvo mafirimu anotiudza, hapana chakaoma uye nekukurumidza mutemo pamusoro pekuti iwe unofanirwa pabonde nemurume wako mutsva kekutanga. Zvichida maminetsi mashanu mushure mekunge masangana naye, kana kuti mushure memuchato-hapana kutongwa!

Asi zvisinei kuti unomirira kwenguva yakareba sei, pane mimwe mibvunzo iwe kudiwa kukumbira mumwe wako nemumwe iwe usati warara. Zvimwe zviri pachena-kunenge munhu wese anoziva kubvunza nezvenjovhera nekuronga kuzvara, uye zvine musoro kuti tikurukure pamusoro pekuti hukama hwacho huri kuenda kupi. Asi mimwe mibvunzo haina kujeka. Semuenzaniso, unobvunza sei mukomana wawakangosangana naye kana ari munhu anozvitutumadza uyo anozvifunga pamubhedha? Nyore: Haudi. Asi hazvireve kuti haugone kuzvinzwisisa nemibvunzo mishoma yakananga. Takataura nenyanzvi, kusanganisira aimbove mukuru weCIA, kuti tione kuti ndedzipi mhinduro dzaunoda usati wasangana naye-uye kuti ndeipi mibvunzo chaiyo yekuona iyo mireza mitsvuku.

Wakaedzwa here?

Mifananidzo ye Corbis

Zvirwere zvenjovhera ibhizimusi rakakura, uye zvinoreva kuti haugone kutsveta pamusoro pemusoro wenyaya nekuda kwekuti hauenderane nemafungiro, anodaro muongorori wezvepabonde Nicole Prause, Ph.D. "Dhata inoratidza kuti kana vanhu vachiti 'Ini ndakachena,' zvavanoreva chaizvo ndezvekuti havana kuona kukura kuri kuita," anodaro Prause. "Uye kana vachiti 'vakaedza kuchena,' kazhinji vanenge vachingotaura nezveHIV. Saka mibvunzo yepabonde inoda kunyatsojeka!" Nzira iri nyore yekuita kuti hurukuro iyi isanyanya kunetsa ndeyekuongororwa iwe pachako. "Chikonzero chakajairika vanhu vasingaburitse njovhera nemunhu wavanoda kushandira naye inyaya yekuti havana kuongororwa," anodaro Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., purofesa anoshanda kuIndiana University uye munyori webhuku richangoburitswa. Iyo Coregasm Workout. "Vanoziva kuti mubvunzo uchadzoserwa pavari. Zviongorore, uye hurukuro ichave nyore." (Kubvunza nezve nhoroondo yekuyedza ndeimwe yeiyo Nhaurwa 7 dzaunofanirwa kunge uine Hupenyu Hwepabonde Hwehutano.)

Wakaroorwa here?

Mifananidzo ye Corbis

Nyangwe uhwu hungori hukama hwakasununguka, unoda kuziva kuti ari kuona vamwe vakadzi here. Uye iwe unofanirwa, anodaro Herbenick, nekuti-godo parutivi - zvakakosha kuti uzive kuti ndeupi mamiriro ezvinhu aungave uri kuzviisa mazviri. Vazhinji vedu tinofunga kuti mukomana ari kufambidzana haana kuroorwa, asi, zvakanaka, tese takanzwa nyaya. Chokwadi, murume akaroora pamwe haasi kuzobuda ozvibvuma, asi nekumubvunza zvakananga, unomuisa panzvimbo zvekuti haakwanise kunyepa zvakanaka, kana. Bvunza uyu mubvunzo nenzira yekuseka, uye ipapo unogona kuushandisa sedombo rekutsika kuti uti, "Kwete, asi zvakakomba, urikuona vamwe vakadzi here?" (Haina kugutsikana? Zvinoenderana neiyi Kusatendeseka Ongororo, kubiridzira ndiyo nzira yakajairika pakati pevakaroora kupfuura zvaunogona kufunga.)

Unoda Basa Rako Here?

Mifananidzo ye Corbis

Unoiteyi? Unonakidzwa nazvo here? Chii chakajairika zuva rekushanda senge? Unoda vaunoshanda navo here?

Usamubvunze mibvunzo iyi zvese kamwechete - hausi kumubvunza, shure kwezvose. Asi kubvunza mibvunzo mina kana mishanu yakanangana nezvenyaya imwe nzira iri nyore yekuona munhu anoreva nhema, sekureva pamudyandigere CIA pekuvharira mukuru wehofisi B.D. Foley, munyori we CIA Street Smarts yeVakadzi. "MuCIA, tinoedza kuve nenyaya yekuvhara iyo ichapona mibvunzo mitatu," Foley anotsanangura. "Mushure memibvunzo mitatu, zvinobva zvave zvakaoma kuti tigare tichivhara, saka isu tobva taedza kudzosera nhaurirano. Izvi ndizvo zvingaitwa nemunyepi." Iwe haufanire kumubata mukunyepedzera kuti uone kana ari murevi wenhema, ingo teerera kuti atange kunzvenga kana mutsetse wekubvunza wakadzika zvakanyanya. Uye rangarira: Kana achinyepa nezve chimwe chinhu chisingakoshe sebasa rake (kunyangwe kana chiri chekungo fadza iwe), anogona kunge ari kunyepa nezve zvimwe zvinhu futi.

Nice Mota! Ndo Izvo Zvaunoshandisa Kuti Utore Chick?

Mifananidzo ye Corbis

Flattery ndeye zvese-kana iwe uri kuyedza kuzvikudza, Foley anodaro. Ratidza kuti ane ego ne, hazvo, nekuipuruzira. "Izvi zvinonzi 'kubata kumeso,'" anodaro Foley. "Mukomana akajairika, anozvininipisa anotora rumbidzo nenyasha, kana kutonyara. Asi mumwe munhu anozvitutumadza achashandisa mazwi ako sekusvetuka kubva panzvimbo kuti azvirumbidze pamusoro pavo kana zviito zvavo." Kana iye achitora kurumbidza kwese kwaunomupa uye ndokutevera neine-maminetsi gumi kutaura nezve kushamisa kwake iye, anogona kunge asiriye mukomana waunoda kurara naye (verenga: kuzvida, uye anogona kuzvifunga pamubhedha).

Uri Shamwari neEx Yako?

Mifananidzo ye Corbis

Maitiro aanotaura nezvehukama hwekare anogona kunge achizarura, anodaro New York-based psychologist Ben Michaelis, Ph.D., munyori we Chako Chikuru Chinotevera: Matanho Gumi Kudiki ekuti Uende uye Ufare. "Kana achiremekedza achitaura nezveaimbova mudiwa, icho chiratidzo chakanaka chekuti achakuremekedza," anotsanangura kudaro. Zvinogona kunge zvichinyangadza kukumbira zvisina tsarukano mukomana kuti aratidze hukama hwake hwehukama, saka tungamira mumubvunzo nevamwe (zvisina kufanira) info nezve wako hukama hwekare. "KuCIA, tinosheedza izvi 'kupa kuti uwane," anodaro Foley. "Kana iwe uchipa rumwe ruzivo nezvako, mumwe munhu achanzwa achimanikidzwa kupindura nenzira." (Uye zvekare, Heino Chikonzero Iwe Haifanire kudaro Iva Shamwari neWako Ex.)

Zuva reMvudzi rakashata, Huh?

Mifananidzo ye Corbis

Kudzivirirwa kwakakosha, kunyanya kana iwe uchinge uchidanana nemumwe wako mudiwa. Asi kana uchangobva kusangana naye, zvimwe hauna kuwana mukana wokuona mavara ake chaiwo. Izvo zvinonyanya kukosha kupokana ndeye chero kutsamwa kana kutonga nyaya, zvese zviri zviviri zvinogona kunetsa kunyangwe ukasaronga kumuona zvakare. Kuti uone kana ari murume wenguva dzose kana kuti angangove mhondi, Foley anokurudzira kushandisa zano re "kudenha". Aya ndiwo mashandire azvinoita: Mudzvinyirire nokumutsvinyira zvinyoronyoro pamusoro pechimwe chinhu chaanodada nacho zvakajeka, semotokari yake itsva kana kuti ndebvu dzake dzakashambidzika zvakanaka. "Vanhu vane hunhu hwechisimba kazhinji havagone kurwisa chibhakera chakadai," anodaro Foley. "Vanozosvotwa kana kutotsamwa. Zvirinani kuona hunhu uhu huchibuda mubhawa, iwe wakakomberedzwa nevanhu, pane mubhedhuru." Ingo rangarira kuzvichengeta zviri nyore. Iwe hausi kunyatso kuedza kumugumbura (uye vamwe vakomana vari chaizvo vane hanya nevhudzi ravo!).

Ndezvipi Zvandinotarisira?

Mifananidzo ye Corbis

Usati wavata naye, zvakakosha kuzvibvunza kuti chii chaunoda mukusangana pabonde uye kudanana. Manzwiro akasimba anowanzo kuuya kana zvaunotarisira zvikatyorwa, senge paunowana mubairo usingatarisirwi uye uchifara, kana kusuruvara zvakanyanya nerufu rwechimbichimbi, anodaro Prause.Nekuti iwe unowanzo kuve nerudo rwepabonde zvisati zvaitika, zvaunotarisira zvakakwirira. Izvo zvinogona kuve zvinonetsa kana iwe usina kugadzirira kubata nekudonha. Hazvina mhosva kuti uri kutsvaga kumira kwehusiku humwe kana hukama hwenguva refu (kana chimwe chinhu chiri pakati), ingove wakatendeseka uye unonzwisisa pane zvaunotarisira kuti zviitike mangwanani anotevera (uye mamiriro api auri zvakanaka), anodaro.

Ndiri Okay Kusazombomuonazve?

Mifananidzo ye Corbis

Dzimwe nguva zvinonetsa kuva akatendeseka newe pachako kana iwe uchigona kubata hukama hwehukama, saka Herbenick anokurudzira kufunga nezvenyaya yakaipisisa. "Kana mhinduro yako iri hongu, chienda hako," anodaro Herbenick. "Asi kana iri kwete, ungangoda kumirira kusvikira yaitika." ndizvo ehe, kana kusvika mese magadzirira hukama hwakakomba. "(Panguva ino, haasi iye ega ane bonde rinoitirwa kumba! Bhururuka pazvinhu zvisere izvo Varume Vanoshuvira Vakadzi Kuziva Nezve Bonde.)

Ongororo ye