Vakarasika Pamuviri uye Vakarasika Vanoda: Kuroora Nhumbu Kunokanganisa Hukama Hwako

Zvemukati

• Zvinotaurwa neongororo
• Kukunda kunyarara

Kurasikirwa nepamuviri hakufanirwe kureva kupera kwehukama hwako. Kutaurirana kwakakosha.

Iko chaiko hapana nzira yesugarcoat zvinoitika panguva yekuparara. Chokwadi, munhu wese anoziva nezvehwaro hwezvinoitika, technically. Asi kunze kwekuratidzwa kwemuviri kwepamuviri, wedzera mukushushikana, kushungurudzika, uye manzwiro, uye zvinogona kuve, zvinonzwisisika, zvakaoma uye zvinokanganisa. Uye izvi pasina mubvunzo zvinogona kukanganisa hukama hwako.

Statistics inoratidza kuti kwakatenderedza gumi muzana yemimba dzinozivikanwa dzepamuviri dzinopera mukuparara kwepamuviri mune yekutanga trimester. Kunyangwe iwe uri kuyedza kuve nemwana kana zvaive kushamisika, kurasikirwa uku kunogona kuve kunetesa uye kunoparadza.

Kunyange munhu wese achigadzirisa kurasikirwa kwavo nenzira dzakasiyana, zvinogona kuva chiitiko chinotyisa, uye kune vakaroorana, kupererwa nemimba kunogona kuunza imi vaviri pamwechete kana kukukonzera kuti utsauke.

Zvinoratidzika kunge zvisina kunaka, handizvo here? Iwe uchangobva kuve neichi chiitiko chinoparadza chichiitika, uye chekupedzisira chinhu chaunofanira kunetseka nezvacho ndechekuti hukama hwako huchapona.

Zvinotaurwa neongororo

Zvidzidzo zvakaratidza kuti chero kushungurudzika kunogona kukanganisa hukama hwako, uye izvi ichokwadi pakubvisa pamuviri. A akatarisa maitiro ekuparara uye kubereka mwana zvinokanganisa hukama hwako, uye mhedzisiro yacho yaishamisa.

Vakaroora kana kugara pamwe chete avo vakaita nhumbu yaive makumi maviri neshanu muzana mikana yekuparara kupesana nevaroora vaive nemwana ane hutano panguva. Kune vakaroorana vakaita kuberekwa kwakafa, nhamba iyi yaive yakatokwira, ne40 muzana yevakaroora pakupedzisira vachipedza hukama hwavo.

Hazvishamisi kutsauka mushure mekusununguka kwemimba nekuti nhamo yakaoma. Kana iri kekutanga iwe nemumwe wako muchichema pamwechete, muri kudzidza nezvako uye mumwe nemumwe panguva imwe chete.

Vamwe vanhu vanozviparadzanisa kuti vashande kuburikidza nemanzwiro avo. Vamwe vanotendeukira kune chero chinhu chinoita kuti pfungwa dzavo dzirambe dzakabatikana uye vachizvirasa mukutsauswa. Zvimwe zvakanangana neavo ko-kana mibvunzo inogona kutiita kuti tirambe tine mhosva.

Kunetseka senge, "Ndichazove nemwana here?" "Pane zvandakaita zvakakonzera nhumbu iyi here?" "Sei mumwe wangu asingaite sekushungurudzika seni?" kutya kwakajairika uye kunogona kutungamira mukukonana muhukama kana vakasara vasina kutaurirana.

Chidzidzo chekare kubva muna 2003 chakawana kuti makumi matatu neshanu evakadzi vakanzwa “kuremara” kure nemurume wavo gore rimwe mushure mekuparara uye 39 muzana vakanzwa kure kure pabonde.

Paunonzwa iwo manhamba, hazvina kuoma kuona kuti sei paine hukama hwakawanda huchiuya kumagumo mushure mekuparara.

Kukunda kunyarara

Nepo kuwanda kwenhamba kuri kukwirira, kurambana hakusi kuiswa mumatombo, kunyanya kana iwe uchiziva nezvekuti kusununguka kwepamuviri kunogona kukanganisa sei hukama hwako.

Mutungamiri anotungamira wedzidzo, Dr. Katherine Gold, purofesa wevadzidzi paYunivhesiti yeMichigan muAnn Arbor, akaudza CNN kuti haufanire "kuvhunduka uye kufunga kuti nekuda kwekuti mumwe munhu akarasikirwa nepamuviri. ukama hwakapedzwa. ” Anonongedzera kuti vazhinji vakaroorana vanosvika padyo mushure mekurasikirwa

"Yakanga yakaoma, asi hubby wangu neni takasarudza kukura kubva pairi pamwe chete," akadaro Michelle L. nezvekurasikirwa kwake. “Kungoti zvaive mumuviri wangu muviri uchipfuura zvaisareva kuti isu tese hatina kunzwa kurwadziwa, kusuwa kwemoyo, uye kurasikirwa. Aive mwana wake zvakare, ”akawedzera.

Kune hukama hwake, ivo "vanosarudza kumbundirana munguva dzino dzinoshungurudza uye vanovimba uye vanozendamira pane mumwe nemumwe zvakanyanya. Akandibata mukati memazuva angu akaoma uye ini ndikamubata paakamuka. ” Akataura kuti kuonana kwavo "pakurwadziwa kukuru uye mukupererwa" uye "kuziva kuti mumwe munhu anga aripo chero zvodii" kwakavabatsira kupfuura mukushungurudzika kwavo pamwe chete.

Kiyi yekupfuura nepamuviri pamwe chete uye kudzivirira kukanganisa kune hukama hwako kwenguva refu inouya mukutaurirana. Ehe, kutaura uye kutaura uye kutaura zvakawanda - kune mumwe nemumwe zvingave zvakanaka, asi kana iwe usati wakagadzirira izvo ipapo, kutaura kune nyanzvi - senge nyamukuta, chiremba, kana chipangamazano - inzvimbo yakanaka yekutanga.

Kune nzvimbo dzakawanda kwazvo dzaunogona kutendeukira kutsigiro izvozvi, nekuda kwenzvimbo dzekudyidzana uye nzira nyowani dzekubatana nevapi vezano. Kana iwe uchitsvaga online rutsigiro kana zvinyorwa zvekushandisa, webhusaiti yangu UnspokenGrief.com kana Zvichakamira Magazini zviwanikwa zviviri. Kana iwe uchitsvaga mumwe munhu mumunhu kuti utaure naye, unogona kutsvaga wekushungurudza mupi wezano munharaunda yako.

Paunofunga nezve kunyarara kwakadii kuchiripo kutaura nezvekuparara uye nhamo inofanirwa kutarisirwa mushure mekurasikirwa, hazvishamise kuti vazhinji vanonzwa vari vega, kunyangwe vaine mumwe wavo. Kana iwe usinga nzwe sekuti mumwe wako aratidzira kusuwa kumwe chete, kutsamwa, kana mamwe manzwiro auri, hazvishamise kuti unotanga zvishoma nezvishoma kutsauka.

Kune zvakare nyaya yekuti kana mumwe wako asina chokwadi kuti angakubatsira sei kana kuti marwadzo acho aende sei, vanogona kuve vanokwanisa kudzivirira matambudziko pane kuvhura. Uye izvi zvinhu zviviri ndosaka uchitaurirana, kana nyanzvi yakakosha.

Kana iwe ukapfuura nechimwe chinhu chinotyisa uye chega sekusununguka kwemimba, uye iwe ukapfuura nacho pamwe chete, pane mukana wakanaka kwazvo wekubuda kumagumo kwacho wakasimba. Iwe unenge uine nzwisiso yakadzama yekunzwira tsitsi, uye zvidiki uye zvikuru zvinhu zvinounza nyaradzo kune mumwe wako.

Kushanda kuburikidza neshungu, kupa nzvimbo panguva yekutsamwa, uye kupa rutsigiro panguva yekutya kunokubatanidza. Iwe uchasimbisa hunyanzvi hwekutaurirana nemumwe, uye iwe unozoziva kuti zvakachengeteka kuudza mumwe wako izvo iwe kudiwa kunyangwe hachisi chinhu chavanoda kunzwa.

Nekudaro, dzimwe nguva zvisinei kuti unoedza zvakadii kuchengetedza hukama hwako, kushungurudzika kunochinja iwe uye yako trajectory muhupenyu. Kurambana kunoitika.

Kuna Casie T., kurasikirwa kwake kwekutanga kwakakanganisa kudyidzana kwake, asi zvakatozopera mushure mekurasikirwa kwavo kwechipiri ndipo pakazopera muchato wavo. "Mushure mekurasikirwa kwechipiri, gore rakatevera takazoparadzana," akagovana.

Kuenda kuburikidza nekupererwa nepamuviri uye nzira yekuchema inokanganisa hukama hwako, asi iwe unogona kudzidza chimwe chinhu chitsva nezve mumwe nemumwe, ona imwe simba iwe yausina kumboona, uye gamuchira shanduko yekuva mubereki zvakasiyana pane dai wanga usina kupfuura izvi pamwechete .

Devan McGuinness munyori wekurera uye anogamuchira mibairo yakati wandei kuburikidza nebasa rake neUsspokenGrief.com. Anotarisa pakubatsira vamwe kuburikidza nenguva dzakaomarara uye dzakanakisa mukuva mubereki. Devan anogara kuToronto, Canada, nemurume wake nevana vana.