Iyi 5-Nhanho Nzira Inokubatsira Iwe Shift Dysfunctional Emotional Maitiro

Zvemukati

• Chii chinonzi Shift Stirrer Method, Chaizvo?
• Maitiro Akagadzirwa Sei
• Chii Chinoita Kuti Chive Chakakosha
• Zvinofungwa na Therapists Nezve Shift Anokurudzira Nzira
• Ongororo ye

Kutarisa kuchera mune yako yepasirese nyika zvishoma zvishoma muna 2021? Vanhu vazhinji (kunyanya avo vasati vaenda kurapwa) vane nguva yakaoma kuwana manzwiro uye kuziva kuti zvimwe zvinhu zvinobva kupi. Tinamarie Clark - muenzaniso, amai, uye iye zvino munyori - anoda kuchinja izvozvo.

Clark akagadzira Iyo Shift Stirrer Method senzira yekuwana yakaoma manzwiro uye kudzikisira zvinokonzeresa zvepfungwa, uye mushure mekuzvishandisa pachezvayo kwemakumi maviri emakore, akachinja kuita bhuku rebasa raari kugovana neruzhinji.

Chii chinonzi Shift Stirrer Method, Chaizvo?

Iyo Shift Stirrer Method inoshandisa nzira yaClark yekurangarira nhanho shanu "kushandura mafungiro asina kunaka uye kudzikisira zvitendero kuita mamwe anopa simba." Chinangwa chose ndechekukurudzira vakadzi kuti vabatane zvakadzama kwavari uye nevamwe, anodaro Clark.

Maitiro acho arikutengeswa mufomu rebhuku rebasa (kungave digitally kana panyama) - uye yakaputswa kuita zvikamu zvishanu zvinofambidzana. Heino yakakosha, nhanho-ne-nhanho kuparara kwehunyanzvi:

• Kurudzira: Ziva kuti kune nyonganyonga mukati mako uye uvake kuzviziva kwakaripoteredza. Ziva zvauri kunzwa uye ugopa mazwi kwairi (kutsamwa, kutsamwiswa, kunetseka, kunyara, kutsamwiswa, kusashivirira, kunzwira tsitsi, kudzivirira, nezvimwewo).
• Gara: Gara nezvauri kunzwa uye ona zviri kuuya kwauri. Gadzira nzvimbo kuti uve. Zvipe nguva yekusaita chinhu. Iva wakasununguka nekunzwa kusagadzikana.
• Sefa: Nyatsoongorora zviri kunyatsoitika mupfungwa nemumuviri wako, uye pfungwa dzipi dzauri kufunga pamusoro pezvakaitika kana kuti uri kunzwa sei. Hunzai mifungo inobereka mberi uye kurega simba rakaipa. Apa ndipo paunotora hutori huzere hwema dysfunctions awaunza kunyaya. (Funga: kukanganisa kwekuziva, rondedzero dzenhema, pfungwa dzakatsveyama - sefa, kusarura, kana mukwende wauri kuunza kune chiitiko.)
• Goverana: Govera nyaya yako nekusefa kuburikidza nekutaura nyaya yechokwadi. Chii chakaratidzirwa mukusefa? Clark anokukurudzira kuti usarudze munhu waunonyatso vimba kana uchigovera.
• Shift: Gadzira kubatana kwechokwadi. Kana iwe uchigovana chokwadi chako, iwe unovhura iyo portal yekuchinja. Tora inventory yezvawakadzidza mukuita uku. Pembera zvawakaita uye tenda basa rakapinda mazviri.

Maitiro Akagadzirwa Sei

Clark ndiye achave munhu wekutanga kukuudza kuti haasi murapi - asi akawana nzira inomushandira, uye anoda kugovana izvozvo nevamwe. Zvaanogona kushaya zvitupa zvaanogadzira neruzivo rwehupenyu, shungu, tsitsi, uye simba rakasiyana (izvo, TBH, iwe unogona kunzwa ipapo ipapo paunenge uchitaura naye). Kana iwe wakambove nemumwe-on-one neshamwari, hanzvadzi, kana chipangamazano ane iyo "mweya wekare" simba - mumwe munhu anokusiya uchinzwa kudiwa uye simba - ndizvo zvazvinoita kubatana naClark. Akaita seshamwari yakaona imwe sh t, ikakunda zvakanyanya, uye iri kupfuudza kutsungirira kwauri.

Kukura muChikamu 8 pekugara muPhiladelphia mumhuri isina mari, Clark anotsanangura kurera kwakaomarara kwaaifanira "kuzvidzivirira" kuti ararame. Chikamu cheiyi nzira kudzidza "kuisa pasi pfumo nekutora nhumbi," anodaro.

Clark paakatanga basa rake rekuenzanisira, aive nekanguva kakakonzeresa kuita uku; akapererwa nebasa mushure mekunetsana nemumwe mukomana wechidiki akaona kuti aifanira kufunga kuti chii chaiita kuti arasikirwe nechando zvake. Anoti amai vake vakamukurudzira kuti atarise mukati, uye zvidimbu zvidiki zveiyi nzira zvakatanga kugadzikana. Nekuita yake yega vhezheni yekusimudzira, kugara, kusefa, kugovana, uye kuchinja, iye akaona shanduko yemunhu. Somunhu mukuru, akaziva kuti akanga ane chimwe chinhu chine simba chaaigona kugoverana navamwe, uye pashure pokushanda nomurairidzi mumakore mashomanene apfuura, akasarudza kuti akanga asingadi kuzvichengeta. Nokudaro, pfungwa yebhuku rekushanda yakazvarwa.

Chii Chinoita Kuti Chive Chakakosha

Ndisati ndataura naClark, timu yake yakandipa mukana webhuku rekushanda reShift Stirrer Method. Uye kutaura chokwadi, ndakanga ndisingadi kuzviita. Kwete kuti ndakanga ndisinganakidze nezvekunyora, kuongorora manzwiro, kana kutsvaga hutano hutsva hwepfungwa, asi ego yangu neuropi zvakaramba pfungwa iyi. Pane kusimbiswa mune iyi nzira pa "kuva muridzi wako anotyisa," uye kuzvidavirira pane izvo zvisina kunaka zvaungave wakabatirira pazviri. Iwe unofanirwa kuchera muzvinhu zvisinganzwi zvakanyanya, uye kuramba kwangu kusinganzwisisike kweiyi tsika isina kugadzikana inoratidzwa mukuverengera kukuru.

Asi icho chaicho chikamu chemashiripiti mukuita iri basa - uye, sekureva kwaClark, kuita kwakanaka kwazvo. "Kuzvibvumira kugara nemanzwi asina kubikwa asina mbichana chiito cheushingi," anodaro. "Iri harisi basa riri nyore." (Yakabatana: Nei Iwe Panyama Uchinzwa Senge Shit Mushure mekurapa, Inotsanangurwa neMental Health Pros)

Clark anoenzanisira iyo pfungwa yekubvisa nhumbi dzekuzvidzivirira neiyo Samurai vignette panguva ye "sit" nhanho yemaitiro. "Masoja eSamurai akadzidziswa kuti asatombova munzvimbo yekuzviisa pasi," anodaro. "Asi patii nevatungamiri venharaunda yavo, vanogara panzvimbo inonzi seiza. Nenzira iyi, samurai haigoni kukurumidza kuvhomora munondo wavo; vakagara panzvimbo yekuzvipira, pasina kuzvidzivirira."

Kugara mukukonzeresa, kupisa, kana kusagadzikana musina kuita ndicho chinangwa chake nechikamu cheiyi nzira. "Iri kuisa munondo pasi," anotsanangura kudaro. "Ndinoziva kuti ['pfumo'] rinogona kukuvadza zvakadii, uye hunhu hwangu hungasvika kure sei mukuedza kundidzivirira - asi ndanga ndaneta nekuchenesa [mhedzisiro] kubva mukudzinga bakatwa nekukurumidza nguva dzose."

Kana kushushikana kwekuita chinhu chiri chinhu chaunotambura nacho kana kana ukazviwana uri mukudzokororwa mapatani, iyi nhanho yenzira inogona kubatsira zvakanyanya. "Tinotora nhoroondo dzekare, uye tinodzitevedzera uye tinodziisa; tinodziisa mumamiriro edu ezvinhu nehukama," anodaro Clark.

Somuenzaniso, akazviwana ari mumuitiro wakadzokororwa neshamwari yaakadana kuti "No-Show Chlo." Akatsanangura shamwari yake (uyo waanoda) seasina kusimba uye asiri kuisa nguva kana simba rekumuona. Pakupedzisira, akaziva kuti haana kutsamwira Chloe - aive aburitsa mufaro wake, uye aive nekutenda kwakadzikira kwekuti kana shamwari iyi ikasauya, zvaireva kuti aisamuda. (Zvakafanana: Zviratidzo Kuti Uri Muhushamwari Hwehupfu)

Pane imwe nguva paakaita basa rekugara mumanzwiro ake, achibvunza kuti sei ainzwa nenzira iyi, iye "akasunungura [Chloe] pabasa rake kuti ave chimwe chinhu, uye ndokumugadzirira simba kwandiri," anotsanangura Clark. "Zvakachinja hukama hwedu zvakanyanya." Iyi yaive nzira yakadzokororwa kubva kumanzwiro ekusafanira kana iye achikura aakange atora mukusaziva kuva munhu mukuru.

Clark akazvidzidzisa kuisa pasi munondo uye kubvisa nhumbi dzokurwa nadzo, uye akagovana nzira yake yekuzviita muShift Stirrer Method, saka chero munhu anogona kuzviedza ivo pachavo.

Zvinofungwa na Therapists Nezve Shift Anokurudzira Nzira

Pakazere, magazini ino inzvimbo yakanaka yekutanga basa remanzwiro, anodaro chiremba wepfungwa Jennifer Musselman, M.A., L.M.F.T., muvambi weThe Musselman Institute for Leadership Insight & Marriage Therapy. Munyika yekurapa, izvi zvakafanana nekudzidza maABC. "Iri idanho rakanaka, rekutanga padanho rekuziva kana kusimudzira, kunyanya kune avo vasina kuita budiriro kana kurapwa," anodaro.

Kazhinji, vanhu vazhinji vakashata pakuziva nekugadzirisa manzwiro - kunyanya iwo asina kunaka, anodaro Elizabeth Cohen, Ph.D., chiremba wepfungwa anonyanya hunyanzvi hwecognitive-behavioral therapy. Iyi fomu yekunyora, kufungisisa, uye kuzviwana yakanakira panguva yeCOVID, uye kunyanya mukati menguva pfupi uye inotonhora mazuva echando apo vanhu vazhinji vanowanzonzwa kusurukirwa, kusurukirwa, uye kunyange kushushikana, anowedzera.

Cohen anoti iyo Shift Stirrer Method inomuyeuchidza nezve "AA yekudzoreredza chirongwa," nekuti "iwe unotora ongororo yezuva nezuva yezvawakaita, uye kuti ungade sei kuchinja," anotsanangura kudaro. "Iwe tarisa pane yavanoti hunhu hwako 'hurema' - izwi rinotyisa - uye unoita fungidziro. Uku kuzviratidza kuri kwakanaka chaizvo, uye kushamwaridzana nemanzwiro [auri kusangana nawo] kwakanyanya." Anotaura kuti rudzi urwu rwe "kubvuma uye kuzvipira kurapa kurapa-kwakavakirwa pakurapa kwekushushikana nekuora mwoyo."

Izvi zvinopa "nzira inokoka yekubatsira vanhu kuwana njere maererano nekuramba kuri pakati pehukama hwehukama maitiro (kana CCRP)," anodaro chiremba wezvepfungwa Forrest Talley, Ph.D., muvambi weInvictus Psychological Services muFolsom, CA. CCRP ipfungwa inoshandiswa kufungisisa nekuongorora kudzokorora kudzokororwa kwehukama hwehukama hwemunhu (mumashoko aClark, iyi ndiyo "copy and paste," maitiro). Talley anotiwo akafadzwa paakatanga kuverenga bhuku raClark nekuti "anotarisa pakungwara kwakatungamirwa (kusarudza kupokana obva aita kuti imhanye nepfungwa sekunge firimu), pamwe chete nematanho akarongeka akajeka ekuongorora."

"Zvese izvi zvinondibata segwara rakanaka, rakasimba," anodaro Talley. "Chii zvakare, kunyora kwakajeka uye kwakapfupika uye mapepa ekushanda anopa pfungwa dzinofunga."

Kunyange vese varapi vatatu vachibvumidza iwo pfungwa yebhuku rebasa reSSM sedanho rekutanga, ivo vese vanobvuma kuti iwe unofanirwa kuenderera nekungwarira kana iwe wakasangana nekushungurudzika. "Pane T hombe uye T mudiki," anotsanangura Musselman. "Big T yakafanana nekubatwa chibharo, hondo, nezvimwe. Iri bhuku rekushandira rinogona kutambudza mumwe munhu naBig T. Rinoisawo mhosva kumuverengi, sekunge zvese zvavanotenda, manzwiro, uye nekutenda zvinotungamira ndezvekunyepa. Izvo zvinokuvadza chaizvo kune vadiki vekutambudzika. Little 't' [senge dambudziko remari kana repamutemo, kurambana kana kurambana kunoshungurudza, nezvimwewo] zvinogona kufumurwa mubhuku iri, uye zvakanaka. Asi zvadaro, unoitei nazvo? "

Cohen anopa chirevo chakafanana achiti "semurapi anoshanda nekushungurudzika, tinorega vanhu vachipinda mune zvisingashande uye zvavanoda kugadzirisa, asi isu tinogara tichivadzika mune zvavari kuita zvakanaka," anotsanangura kudaro. "Nenzira iyoyo, izvi hazvina kusungirirwa zvakakwana, uye [kune avo vakasangana nekushungurudzika], ndinokurudzira imwe nzira yekufunga nezvekusvika kwako."

Nenzira iyo, Dr. Talley anotenda kuti iyi inogona kunge iri bhuku rekushanda rakakura kune imwe nzwisiso yekuwedzera - senge kuburikidza nekurapa chaiko, kana chirongwa chekuwedzera.

Kana iwe uine chero ruzivo nehurapi, kunyanya kugona kwehunhu hwekurapa, Musselman anoti izvi zvinonzwa kusanzwisisika kujairika. Kana usati, "munhu wese anofanira kutanga kumwe kunhu," anotsanangura, achiona kuti zvakakosha kusimbisa kuti ichi hachisi kutsiva kurapwa.

Sezvo kusvika kumagazini, uyu ane simba rine simba. Simba, kufunga, uye rudo zvakaunzwa mariri naClark zvinogadzira nzira yakanaka kwazvo (kunyangwe yakaoma!) Nzira, uye kana ichibatanidzwa neimwe yekurapa kana yekiriniki kutungamira, izvi zvinogona kuve zvinoshanduka zvachose mune yako yemanzwiro maitiro.

Ongororo ye